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hey, i’m here again. 10/20/19 haven’t done this in awhile, but just got yelled at by my dad for saying my parents waste $100 a year for signing me up for viet class when i learn better on my own. he proceeded to tell me how much food could be bought with $100 and how they pay for my schooling because i can’t learn. that really hurt you know? i spent 30 minutes crying to sad songs in my room after 10:30am because of you. mellowtalk is a website i went on one month ago to help me with this depression, and i actually got better, but it doesn’t help when you push me down right after i get better. it doesn’t feel nice when you tell me i’m worthless or i can’t learn and because i can’t, you enroll me in viet class. you said i couldn’t understand vietnamese because i keep talking back even after mom said to stop talking back. but you don’t know why i talk back. your reasons for why i’m talking back is because i’m selfish and don’t understand you paid so much money to raise me. why do i have to learn things i don’t want to? why should i have to live a life i don’t want to even live? answer me these questions. please. i’ve asked myself why i put up with this bullshit every day, but i tell myself that when i grow up, i’ll look back on this day and properly say to myself, “look what i’ve been through. i was born in hell and made it out alive on my own. i conquered this obstacle and i can do it again.” but with every passing day, suicide thoughts continue to fill my head. i even have painkillers in my room in case i decide to go through with the act. i exercized because my parents forced me to, then you called me fat. i went to school because you forced me to, then you called me stupid. i pushed aside my homework time and did all my chores in the house for you just for you to complain i don’t study or finish my work in time because i’m lazy. i have depression because of you. i want to kill myself everyday. i cry and cry till my eyes are swollen. i want to yell and scream till my lungs don’t work. i want to live a life that won’t make me want lose it. since i don’t have anyone irl to tell this about and my doctors appointment is months away before i can tell them i have problems, this is me ranting. i’m not even sure i want to tell my doctor at this point. they might tell my parents my problems, and then my parents will get mad at me. that’s anxiety you know? apparently kids with anxiety like me these days have the same amount of anxiety levels as patients in mental asylums in the 1950s. monday through friday is school like normal students, but friday is cleaning day at home, and saturday is too. then sunday rolls around and i’m forced to go to a language class about my own culture that i now hate because of my parents. both the culture and the day of the class. then it’s back to school. honestly, it’s only two hours in the language class, but i’d rather go to regular school for 5 days a week than that class. its not like i don’t like learning or the class itself, its that my parents force me to. why should i be forced to learn what i don’t want to learn? i shouldn’t. sure, learning more about my native culture and language is good in the long run, but if i don’t like it, it is a waste of $100 a year to sign me up for that class, yet i explained this to my parents and they yelled at me for it. i’m sure every kid says their parents are the worst, but physical violence doesn’t even come close to mental violence. my parents don’t hurt me physically anymore, but their words cut like knives that go so deep that even iron won’t stop it. i think i’d rather be hurt physically than mentally by my parents now. i wish they would, but they stopped when i entered middle school. after that was wave on wave on wave of mental abuse. is it illegal for parents mentally abuse their children? i don’t know, but i wish they couldn’t.

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hey i posted a couple weeks ago here, you can see my shitty life story there if you want. just feeling like such a disaster at the moment. ive had a really bad cold the last week and ive had to keep working through it anyway cos we need the money so bad, i'm barely going to be able to put this months rent together. when i was heading to work today i got out of bed and i just felt so weary and tired and unable to do anything and i looked round at our tiny messy flat and then at myself in the mirror looking tired and dirty and wearing old tatty clothes and i just burst into tears. in front of my kids too, they were so kind to me and im so proud of them but i feel so weak and pathetic doing that in front of them. im basically going to have to tell them that we cant really afford to do anything for christmas this year cos money is so tight. ive been trying to quit smoking lately but ive been doing really badly, cigarettes give you easy energy when you feel ground down by everything and its not a good choice i know but i feel like its the only one ive got. ive messed up my life and my kids lives so much by making so many bad choices, i just feel so alone and worthless and like im useless in giving my daughters what they deserve.

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there are times when i talk to people, i tend to blabber nonsense or i’d stutter, like i got this idea in my head, but when im about to say it, its just gibberish. i can easily talk to my close friends, although there are times when it does happen, they would just give me a funny look.it mostly happens to other people ,especially when they suddenly converse with me.

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i had gotten a comment on one of my posts by big boy ben that was there user they said they wanted to help me by giving me there contact info to help me with my social anxiety please help me i want their help

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anyone to talk need to talk , now anybody could help me

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so i stopped taking my anti depressants a couple months ago, the medication worked like i stopped cutting my wrists, etc. but right now i don’t know what i feel. like i’m okay dying but i’m okay living? (if that makes sense) i feel like i don’t feel anything. i feel like i don't have purpose. i have a kid right, a year and 3 months old. i really love him but idk it just doesn’t feel right. i feel like i love him because that’s the normal feeling associated with being a father. but tbh idk anymore. i even been very cold to my girlfriend like back when i wasn’t on any meds i would cry every time we would fight but then now i feel nothing. typing this has been kinda therapeutic, you know to let it all out. i wish someone out there can have the time to read this. thank you

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to put it simply, my energy just ain't the same as it used to be. i used to be surrounded by people and i used to be considered hilarious. for some reason i have now become somewhat of a mute. i'm not shy when it comes to talking to new people, it's just that my mind goes completely blank when i'm trying to start a conversation, and eventually it gets awkward. even with people i've known my whole life. i've heard and have seen people who used to be quiet who are now the life of the party because they used to be shy but found their self confidence, but it's pretty wack if it happens the other way around,and has nothing to do with being shy.

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today it's the world mental health day. i just want you to know that, whoever you are, wherever you may be, whenever you read this, i hope you have a great day. and i hope your life gets better (and i know it will). it doesn't matter if you're fighting mental illness or if you're just struggling with a bad life situation, this is your day. and, to seize one of the ideas of mellowtalk, i want you to remember this: "be strong enough to ask for help rather than being strong enough to face it alone". thanks for reading this!

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i hate depression. its caused such a riff in my once wonderful relationship. yes, i get moody and snappy with people. my boyfriend says he won’t put up with it anymore and has become so detached from this relationship. i ask him for help but i don’t know how to direct him in helping me. “i just want your presence,” i say. his reply, “are you going to be all moody?” like dang, nevermind then. dont offer help if it’s such an inconvenience for you. especially when i’m down! it takes a lot of bravery to admit feeling that way and now i’m scared to even let you know because you think i’ll just be mean to you.

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hiya, i don't really know how to word this but there's this weird feeling/mood/state of mind idk what exactly it is that has never really disappeared starting from a bit before freshman year. anyways, this sort of state of mind is best summarized as a sort of blackhole. even when i'm laughing with my friends or just busy there's this gnawing sensation that feels like i'm drifting away and am alone. it's terrible. i dont remember the last time i was truly happy. i dont feel like i'm really here. i don't know if it's because ever since i got into highschool i havent made any meaningful relationships with anyone except one which ended terribly, or if i was just made this way. i hate the blame game so i dont like pointing fingers, plus i'm not exactly in any 'special' situation in the sense my family life is relatively fine, my grades are fine too, not going through much drama, and so forth. i'm now a senior so all i think about are grades and uni/college but this feeling of emptiness just won't go away. i don't know what to do.

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i dont know what a normal family feels like and it makes me really depressed. my mom and dad got divorced when i was 4 and shortly after that my stepmom came into the picture. she has always played favorites with my brother because he was only 2 when the divorce happened so he looked at her as mom and i didnt. i was always treated different by her and as i got older it turned to neglect, emotional and mental abuse. she would take away my clothes, bed, dresser, desk, etc as punishment for having a bad attitude. i was sleeping on a foam mat and wearing my coaches old cross country shirts because i barely had anything else. i was told that i was the most selfish and self-centered person when i stood up for myself when she called me a "witch" (why not just say bitch??). i was kicked out of the house so many times and usually didnt have a phone with me but there was a time when i did have my phone and she told me to get out but leave the phone and i refused because what if something happened like i was just going to be roaming around the city for the rest of the day because i had nowhere to go and she pinned me to the ground so she could get my phone. she would ignore me for weeks at a time and eventually she gave my dad the choice of either her or me and he chose her. i had no choice to move in with my mom which was great at first but now her and my stepdad are constantly fighting. theyve been like this for years but its worse than ever now. he cheated on her multiple times after promising to never do it again and when she explains the hurt and pain and anxiety that he has caused her he says its stupid right to her face. he thinks that by setting boundaries she is trying to control him. he calls her names and blames his own shit on her. i have a 4 year old sister and im worried about how their fighting is going to affect her in the long run. im worried about myself too. i have very bad anxiety and depression that goes on and off and i have really bad attachment issues. i have sleeping problems and struggle with eating disorders. i self sabotage my relationships and push away everyone close to me and feel like i cant trust anyone. i dont want my sister to end up like me. i feel like since my last post things just keep getting worse and i dont know how im going to get thru the next 2 years till im 18

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can opioid cause a person to become mean spirited and dishonest and paranoid about everything.

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where do i even begin? i have so much thought and emotion inside me right now i feel like i’m going to explode. i have chronic pain and i’m in a fibromyalgia flare which is struggle enough but now the demons i have been battling for most of my life have decided to make a comeback. i’ve discovered after years of being friendless, people i thought were my friends don’t actually see our relationship in the same light. they don’t hate me - i’m just not part of the friend group. god i miss being included - not sure i even remember what it’s like anymore. i just don’t know what to do.... i’m resisting the urge to cut. i desperately don’t want to do that again, but i know i need some kind of release

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hello! i have no idea where to start with this so i’m worry in advance for horrible grammar/ spelling. i read somewhere that happiness is 90% genetic- which is both incredibly depressing and i think the reason i’m so sad all the time. for context, i’m a fourteen year old boy who has tried to kill myself 4 times to date, and unfortunately failed each time. i live a happy life, my parents are truly the best people in the world, and my brothers are annoying, but i wouldn't trade them for anything either, my school is one of the better public schools in the uk, and i dont get bullied. but i stress over the tiniest things- i tear myself up for hours over things that happened years ago, or tiny comments- by the way, sorry for me taking so long to explain all this. i feel ridiculously empty, and hollow, at first it was just when i was alone, now days i could be laughing to the point of tears and feel as though no of its genuine. i think things that i instantly disagree with, and that makes me wonder if i’m twisted or deranged and things. ive got other issues, but to be frank, just writing down these has made me feel pretentious and feel really dirty. i’ll leave you there, thanks.

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the title sums it up really. i'm 32 years old and living in poverty in a tiny flat that i can barely pay the rent for. i dreamed once id get out of poverty, instead i'm a waitress working late nights at minimum wage. i feel like i've made so many bad choices in my life and there's no way out for me. i dropped out of college when i got pregnant with my elder daughter and i moved in with someone who used to beat me up and treat me like shit. we broke up but since then i've had more than 10 boyfriends and most of them have treated me like dirt, but its even worse because now im alone and theres no one else to help pay the bills. ive got two daughters who i can barely afford to take care of and ive no time or money to invest in getting out of this hole cos im living paycheck to paycheck, and anyway i feel so depressed and hopeless most of the time so i can barely motivate myself to get through the day. seriously my life feels like a nightmare i cant get out of. i can't pay my electricity bill and im constantly two months behind on the rent. i have no contact with my family, i dont know if they are still alive and they were abusive to me when i was with them, and i have barely any friends who can help out. i feel so tired and desperate all the time. i smoke way too much, i know it wastes money but i feel like ill always be poor anyway and it gives me energy that helps me get through the day. i'm terrified of ending up homeless but my flat is a wreck anyway, its dirty and nothing works and i have no money to fix it. i feel so ashamed to write this but my hygiene is shit, i can barely pay my water bills so i dont shower that often and also honestly when i get home i am so tired that i often just crawl into bed without showering or brushing my teeth. i wear dirty clothes, so do my kids, cos we dont have a washer or a dryer and the launderette costs money i dont have. i try so hard to make sure my daughters are well fed and clean but its so tough sometimes and they get bullied anyway at school for being poor and having no money. my eldest daughter is really struggling at school, shes failing math even though shes trying hard but she's been dumped in a low set with kids who dont want to learn and arent trying. i feel so sad about it because i dont want her to end up like me but the school wont help and i cant help, i dont understand the work either. it feels like theres no way out for us if it wasnt for the food bank we wouldnt be able to afford to eat some days. i have rotten teeth and i need root canal work doing but surprise bloody surprise it costs money i dont have so i just struggle on. i used to be like fairly pretty but i look at myself in the mirror nowadays and without makeup i just look like a total mess. i dont know how to get myself out of this and i feel like the rest of my life is just gonna be full of this nightmare.

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oh yes, , , sad time , , , am i sleep depreiived ? ? no probalbly not idk i havent been awake for 18 hours , , , i wonder what bein g high is like , would anyone opn line n otice im high if i was high ? ? ? like i always act high so they probs wouldnt bvut i have no access to drugs so i cant be higha nyway but sti l l l , , it suounds fun and a lot better thah n thiss s s s s okok see you im done ranting, , , i'd suggest looknig for another insight if u wanna help someone tho

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the problem is, i don't know what it is. but i'm pretty sure that something's wrong with me. for starters, i cannot talk to people without looking them in the eye. whenever people talk to me, tell me things, its as if i don't ever understand what they actually mean. like, someone would say a joke, and i'd be completely clueless. or when im given an instruction, i do something completely different. its as if im out of the loop with people. this makes people think, im not listening to them, because i dont like them, which isnt true. my understanding is just really bad sometimes. but this makes it really hard for me to talk to people, because i'm a hard person to talk to, and i know that. i always feel like such a burden, you know? i always do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing. i always hesitate to talk to people, and do things, because im afraid that ill do things wrong again, and by hesitating to talk to people, people think that i'm uncooperative and unfriendly. im not, or at least, i try my best not to be. im just...scared. sometimes even the thought of opening my messages just makes my brain freeze or something and i cant think and i dont get any work done. my grades are getting really bad lately because of this and i might lose my scholarship. i don't know what to do. i have no one to talk to at all...my parents dont believe me. they just think im making excuses. so whenever they catch me crying, they ask me why, then i can't explain to them because when i did explain they said i was making excuses, like i said. and then they get mad at me because they think im crying for no reason. is being sad, not a reason? sorry, for the long vent. any advice at all would be appreciated greatly. i just cant go on like this anymore.

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i always think that people always have other intentions.it’s like i always feel suspicious to them even though they haven’t done anything to me yet. because of that i never really open up or even talk to some people fearing that they secretly hate me...

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i was on the beach with two kids and this lady outta nowhere why do you wear a bikini.like why do you care lady when i’m around my children especially when we’re the waterparks or beaches i like to tone it down outta respect for my kids. there are some moms who will just wear a g-string on the beach in public play good for them im not stopping nobody but don’t tell me i should wear a g-string or a thong it’s my choice thank you

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im sure no one will ever see this or care, but: im already in my 30s, not married, no kids, no job, no income at all for years, no home, not even a shred of grass viewable from my window in a mold & roach infested hellhole of a building i cant afford to leave and can barely scrape the dollars together each month to stay in anymore either.. my teeth are so destroyed its going to cost roughly 30k$ to fix them that i also don't have and haven't been able to smile or eat properly in years even if i could find the mood for either anymore.. i feel people don't understand me and in the past few months my agoraphobia has gotten so bad i don't even leave the room most days anymore.. i cry at the 'drop of a hat' or however that expression goes, and more than anything i just wish i could be happy.. just wake up happy and be happy through the day.. i can't remember the last time that has happened.. i rarely sleep anymore, its just hours and hours of most often soft whimpering and wishing i could change things.. but again ive lost all hope.. if only i was a stronger & wealthier person somehow i could get out of this misery, but the chances of that are like winning the lottery, literally.. ..no one deserves to live like this.. n o b o d y.. what kind of hope is left out there?? is there any that im just not seeing??

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my girlfriend and i have been dating for about six months now and i think she's wonderful, she's my best friend and we're at the stage where we both love each other and we've talked about marriage. ive never felt anything like this about anyone i've dated before. (i'm 22, she's 23 btw). but i introduced her to my parents at dinner and they seriously hate her, especially my mum. i love my parents massively and ultimately they have my interests at heart but they have this idea that i should be dating someone middle class and with a high paying job, and my girlfriend, even though she's really hard-working and determined to succeed, she comes from a very poor background, she grew up in a single parent household with four brothers and sisters, she's had a difficult life in a lot of ways and she is only working a fairly low paying job. none of this bothers me at all because we're young, i know how determined she is to make something of her life, and i love her deeply, but my parents, who are very middle class, don't see it that way. i guess they're trying to protect me but they've been making jokes about my girlfriend, about how she speaks with an accent and about the clothes she wears and so on (which is because she has no money and can't afford to buy expensive clothes). its really unfair at her and i know my girlfriend has noticed they don't like her, she told me she had picked up on it at dinner. she was so polite and brilliant and tried so hard to impress them but they are still so judgmental about her. i feel like i'm caught between two sides, i am absolutely not going to break up with her because i feel like she is almost definitely 'the one' for me but i know that when we take things further it's going to seriously annoy my parents and i don't want to fall out with them. so i honestly kinda don't know what to do

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i posted a few days ago and even after getting better my situation at home got even worse, so i was about to commit suicide. i later started to open up to my closest friend who also had depression, and we both knew about it. i asked them if they would like to discuss our depressed lives and they agreed. so i've been texting them to get my feelings up, but recently i noticed that when my depression started making me think of suicidal thoughts, i no longer had a sweet tooth. i had a really sweet tooth in middle school but in between i lost it and don't have it now in high school. i drink more bitter or slightly sweetened tea than juice and if i eat maybe a sugar cookie or a cinamon bun covered in melted sugar, i wouldn't be able to eat it without getting sick of the sweetness. is this due to be being depressed or just growing up?

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i know i'm depressed and have been depressed since i was in primary till present high school. i diagnosed myself and have so far been relying on music to cure my blues and suicide thoughts. it has helped so much and i would have been dead since 7th grade if i didn't rely on it. i just need help and maybe someone to talk to. i want tell my doctor but i always do my checkups with my family members so i'm never alone in the room with the doctor. i can't talk to my family about this either because they're the ones who made me depressed. i've wanted to kill myself so many times but always have at least one thought holding me back like whether there's someone waiting for me to get better, or i want to die after i finish my bucket list of things to do in my life. i wanted to try cutting but i didn't want the scars. right now, crying is the only way to help. i cry in the morning, think about crying while on my way to school and during school with a smile on my face acting like i'm fine, but when i get home, i cry so much my eyes swell and my trash can is full of tissues. i'm hoping to get maybe just one or two replies about how to deal with this or some company, but until then, i'll just stick with crying.

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it's the same story ,she cheated ,tried forgiving not happening, she's not letting me go , and m not able to be with her ,just literally killing me evryday

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hi, i really need to talk to someone i just moved from another country, i left almost everything behind, the past months i been feeling drepessed and with ansiety crisis. two months ago my boyfriend dumped me without saying anything he just stopped talking to me and never heard back from him, we even had a trip together. right now i live with my mom (45) and her boyfriend (27) i'm 23 and every time i try talking to her its wortless, i cant get a job (ive been trying) and the only thing i hear is complains that she has to support me, i feel like i have no one, i cant talk to anyone, i cry everyday, ive been dropping weight, i try not to eat so they dont have to buy a lot of food and i just feel like im a hindrance in the life of everyone i,ve been trough a lot and my dream was to be a dancer and i stopped doing it beacuse it was to expensive and every time i try to think that thnigs will get better they get worse i feel really lonely

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i don't even know why. it's just that everyone including me myself makes me feel like crying. i am always cheerful but i hate things like being framed or being yelled at, and those two things literally happen to me all the time. i want to tell people that my problem is not a small one but when i think about it myself, the first thing that comes to my mind is "how can i be sad for such a small matter" i hate my thoughts. why do i think so. i am in trouble and i want people to understand me but it seems like i can't even understand myself. i just feel like killing myself at times.

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im having a rough year last year was really tough but i managed to get a few friends but id never had proper friends before, and now that they're in different sections weve stopped hanging out and we've just fell apart every day i just walk around in school alone and im too scared to chat to people by text because i never know what to say and how to reply so i don't open my messages, even the ones for group projects, so now i don't have any contributions and i feel so bad i have no one to talk to, my parents and brother dont believe me and think im just being dramatic i truly do want to get help but i just cant and i dont know what to do and i need help so bad

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i lost everything in just a month. my stepmom was verbally abusing me worse than ever, i got kicked out of my dads house, found out my stepdad had multiple affairs, started attending my third high school (im a junior), lost contact with every single one of my friends (i broke my phone and cant afford a new one), was accepted onto a club soccer team but won't be able to do it because it is too expensive. and thats just half of it. ive struggled with suicide and self harm for years and havent done anything to hurt myself since february but its getting harder and harder to keep that streak. i had a soccer career ahead of me too. i was the starting varsity goalie my sophomore year of high school and had coaches lining up for me to play for them but all that got taken away from me when my dad forced to to move hours away to my moms house. im afraid that my mom and stepdad are going to get a divorce. i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. i went thru the worst breakup with someone i wasnt dating. i have an eating disorder and cant regulate what i eat. i wont eat for a week than ill eat everything in sight plus some. sometimes i cant sleep for shit and others i sleep way too much. i dont know how much longer i can be strong enough to keep going

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i have just started my a-levels, and i was hopeful at first, but things have gone downhill so quickly since. this week has been a monumental shitstorm (excuse the language, i don't often curse) to be perfectly honest. basically i have both anxiety and depression, alongside a rather serious heart condition. i'm not very lucky when it comes to conditions like that. anyway, i'd have been a depressive episode starting monday and i think it's still going now, which is much longer than i'm used to. i'd also been trying to get over a crush on my best friend, who's been flirting a lot with a new guy in our year. me with my stupid lack of self-esteem and mental health issues, i reacted badly to this. my depression got worse as the week progressed. and when my friend told me that she liked the new guy, i didn't respond - i was heartbroken, even though it was obvious (him liking her to doesn't help). however, the next morning i distanced myself from her without realising, and later that day, i had a panic attack after it became obvious she was annoyed at me. i went to the doctor's later that day because of a significantly higher heart rate due to all the stress of the week. luckily, she discussed the problems with me, and i apologised for it all, and even though she said "i hope this doesn't make it awkward or anything", all we did today was a short wave and a smile. no talk whatsoever. so within less than 48 hours, we've gone from pretty much being best friends to seemingly being at square one of a friendship again. i really want things to go back to how they were before sixth form began. so yeah, because i had a crush on my best friend, our friendship is seemingly ruined, my depression is so much worse than its been in so long, and i'm also physically ill as my heart rate is still not back to normal.... i just really need people there to convince me that i haven't lost that friendship and that things can recover fairly quickly. i do have other close friends, but i had such a strong bond with this girl and it hurts so bad to have us on awkward terms.

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i'm not confident enough to talk with my friends when i'm sad for no reason because i feel like i'm annoying them. i always tried to keep my thoughts just for myself, i tried to convince me that i can deal with my self destructive mind by my own, but i'm so tired and just want someone to talk with without being afraid of bother them o make them feel sad too. i feel so guilty and dirty when i think that i'm everybody's second option, like i'm hurting them by doubting about our friendship, but it's how i see it. all my friends have someone that's a better option than me because they are happy with them, and have fun with them, and i understand it, i swear i get it and it's okay, i'm not angry with them because they're are my only friends and i don't want to lose them all, so that's why i'm posting this. i can't help feeling so lonely everyday and want to talk with someone about it, i tried therapy once but i can't afford it anymore. please, i would appreciate so much if someone replied me, thanks a lot.

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hey i’m 19 and totally fed up of life.i recently broke up with a guy with whom i had been in relation for 2 long years.it all started about 2 and half years ago,when i started to have strong crush on that guy.he noticed me for many times and even he knew that i had crush on him.besides knowing this he asked out another girl.so,he was in relation with another girl.i was hurt obviously but i was never the one to make them fight with each other.i used to cry whole night long lying on my bed.i was totally alone.my so-called best friend used me for some stupid purpose of her and then left me all alone.at that time i felt so down for very first time in my life.time passed by..,after about 6 months,that guy had to go through break up and then he got to remember me all of sudden.one day,he asked me and i was typically on cloud nine.i was kinda innocent girl back then whom one can easily make stupid.then it all started,he started talking to me on messaging apps.at first he couldn’t even remember my name.after about a week,he asked me that he wanted to talk to my sister and i said ok as i and my sister thought that it’s just a normal thing to do.he talked with her for really long and when it came about talking to me,he said that he was tired and couln’t talk.this happened for many times.my sister was totally fed up of all this and refused talking to him.whenever he talked tto me,he would remind my flaws like about my brown skin or studious nature etc.it always hurted me whenever he made fun of me but i was deeply in love with that person.even his friends would make my fun.sometimes,i would wait for him whole night long just to talk to me and cried alone..but he never cared.time went on like this.i was immensely afraid that if he left me.i was habitual of that pain.some of the times i found him flirting with girls...yet believed his excuses for no reason.when he talked to me during nights..he would try to talk about some wierd things like sex and all but i wasnot kinda one to listen all that stuff.he made every possible move to use me for his sexual appetite and his words would just broke me down each single time.he made me feel like if i’m just a ‘thing’ one can use and throw.there was no one to help.he even had fight with sister’s boyfriend for no reason.he would lie me each and every time.my feelings for him were ruined day by day.each moment my conscience warned me that his was not kinda one i deserve.i was loyal to death with him.i never even glanced at any other guy.even his friends had to say how loyal i was.i am actually a girl with very good intellect.i was topper of my school and you won’t believe but he was also jealous of me being topper of school.he wasnot good at studies.i tried to help him in studies but he never wanted my help.he would better seek help from other girls.even his mother made fun of my looks.that was heartbreaking.inside my heart,i felt like i was trapped.i moved to another city with my family.he was more free to do whatever he wanted then.we always shifted so that i can prepare well for medical school entrance.things were quiet different at new place.i had to face new pressure of studies nd ppl.everything was new and hard for me.time when he was supposed to support me,he would just rarely talk to me.feelings for him came to an end in my mind and i don’t what suddenly happened to him.he started insisting me that he was a good guy and i must not seek to end our relation ever.that stupid ugly girl started seeming beautiful to him all of very sudden.i was totally fed up of his mood swings.i was totally tired of all that mental pain.i must tell you that i was going through a phase of severe depression.i would just sit and stare in space for hours.i would just lie on my bed and cry in arms of my mother or sister for times.i was totally dead inside.then i decided to break up with him.i gathered all of my courage and broke up with him.he cried...yes he cried for me.he begged me for our relation.but all those words of him when he used to say at times that he didn’t like me or he wanted me to leave flashed in front of me.i choose to leave him.he with friends just troll me for that all the time and say that i broke his heart.he stands on roads in my ways with his friends just to give a frown look to me or me me afraid.but honestly i don’t regret.i am not even afraid of him.the mental illness he gifted me is much more fearful for me.i have lost my beliefs from love nd i don’t think i will ever be able to love again.this is the most important time ongoing of my life.i’m here to work for my career.my exams are near but i am suffering through depression.i don’t want to do anything.it feels like i am dead inside or have no reason to live or love.what should i do?

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how can you point the finger at somebody and accuse them of causing the downfall of their relationship if it’s already been done and over that doesn’t make sense

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it’s really hard for me to keep going, nothing good ever happens, i’m tired, exhausted, i just wanna move on and be ok is it really worth it to go through y’all of this hoping a better future for me? i can’t anymore

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ok, so i'm pregnant! i am happy but super stressed. i have had 2 miscarriages. my husband started drinking after the second. i used to also. i feel like i don't know myself anymore i scream and get mad for everything. i had depression as a kid result of being raped. no friends no support. i feel like i'm dead inside. i always feel sad. i wish i could go back to happy me.

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i told my mom i'm an athiest (have been for 2 years by now, just havent told them until like 2 or 3 days ago) because i didnt want to have confirmation (for non-christians, it's basically adding a saint's name to your name (as a middle name)) and now she's saying that "i can't deny confirmation without asking her first" which means "hey yeah ask me, your very christian mother, if you can deny confirmation, which i'm sure to n o t let you deny, before you actually go through with it!" and now my parents are trying to prove that god is real every fucking time i talk to them its getting so hard to not cry whenever it happens now because i dont wanna be forced to add a saint's name to my name because to my school it's something that like fully confirms my christianity. other students know im an athiest and they stopped caring by now, but like i'm scared that my mom (and maybe dad) are gonna force me to do confirmation

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any advices on how to not get nervous performing/talking in front of people?

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hate it when somebody asks you how much you make? like do i have to tell you how much i make no i really don’t. its really annoying for people to ask you that

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i feel lost, empty and fatigued. my chest is collapsing in on it self and i feel my emotional pain physically. i feel so bad and i want to talk to someone but still i dont want to talk to people i know because i feel like they have problems of their own and i dont want all that attention. but i do, but i dont... get me? i have been here, on the bed... feeling horrible for a whole weekend now... nothing interests me, everything feels bland, gray, neutral. i look at myself in the mirror every single day and i cant think of one good thing to say about myself. i'm not smart but i'm not dumb, im not good looking but im not ugly... i often think about death, and i smile when i do... i think its better than life... but i dont want to die. i think about how i would do it but i never prepared. i hate myself so much. all of this, and i still put on a happy face when i'm with my family or friends... i smile and i dont tell them what i'm going through... because i dont want them to look at me and think i am depressed, but i am... i'm so lost and so confused. please, someone... help me.

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i am at messy point right now.all the relationships i ve had have been sour at the end.first one...we dated for three years..while he was struggling to get a job.he finally did..ended things with me with no explanation why..that same year,he got married .next one treated me like trash.next one didnt was just giving all the vibes he didnt want a relationship with me,but when i ask, he says otherwise...just heard he is getting married soon..three months after his treatment to me.all these dissapointment put together breaks me daily.i keep thinking if i am not good enough.what am i doing wrong to keep getting ill treatment.it really hurts...at my age,i dont even have any one to call mine.all the people around me want nothing serious..i am so pained..my heart aches. thoughts are getting me depressed.i dont even know how to stop feeling d hurt i feel...

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my life is at its worst right now, i have no one to talk to my family doesnt even like me, my mum is toxic and she controls my dad and he cant do anthing. my boyfriend doesn't even try help me, he just cares for himself i try and rant to him and all he does is get mad and blames me. ive had depression and anxiety for 4 years now and i am 16 i need help from other people going through the same no one understands, and i feel like im numb 24/7, but thank you for reading and sorry if this doesnt make sense.

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i’m a single mom to three kids. my kids are ages 7, 4, and 2. i work full time in addition to taking care of them. i really don’t feel like i can do this. i feel like everything is working against me. i try my best to handle everything, but something always happens to make things 10 times harder. i really feel like nobody cares about me. children are naturally selfish, and i don’t mind giving my all to my kids. that’s what i’m supposed to do. but between them, my job, and my family... people only care about what i can do for them. me as a person, i don’t matter. i feel so worthless. people always say you should reach out to people for help. but i do. and they don’t care. people always say i’m superwoman because of all i do. but i’m not superwoman. im human and dying here. i want to go see a therapist, but when? i can’t afford to leave work. after work i have my kids. i hate my life so much.

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i just kinda want to write and kinda talk about the things that my exes did. some of it not that bad but i haven't really talked about it and i think i need to to move past that but i cant trust anyone currently in my life. i've only dated a few ppl. like 4 but they've all done stuff to make my insecurities worse or make me feel like shit. my first two girlfriends i had both were with me cause they thought i was trans which when i realized that started to make me feel bad about myself cause i was already questioning but it made me feel like i had to be what they thought i was for them to like me. so since then i've been struggling with how i should be for ppl to like me and want to be with me. then after them i had a bf and there is alot to unpack with him cause he was my longest relationship. at first everything was fine until i got into a bad headspace and was thinking about killing myself so i wanted to have sex before i did it. but then idk i started to get better but like after the first time it was like he wanted to do it all the time and i didnt and when i didnt he would guilt trip me into doing it or convince me and make me want to when i didnt. i dont know if that's considered rape or not. but at the time my self esteem was so low that i ignored all the bad things he did bc i thought no one would love me. he would manipulate me to do whatever he wanted and everything was about him. but god forbid i would bring it up then he would go on about how he spends money on me. i would have liked it if when i went over to his house we could actually have cuddled and watched a movie without him stopping it to have sex everytime then not even finish watching it. i would tell him 100 times no to sex but then i would give in to shut him up. and even sex was about only him. he never cared if i finished until i got sick of just him getting off and i wanted to stop having sex be even then it was still mostly about him. he also made my insecurities worse when i was starting to get better. i struggle with starving myself and during our relationship at one point i was starting to get myself to eat more and this bitch told me i shouldn't eat so much i'm going to get fat. it was a fucking sandwich. i pretended like it didnt affect me but afterward i stopped eating again and he would just say shit like that when i ate and i think part of it was he was pushing his insecurities on me cause he wasnt the skinniest of boys. oh and the best part was when i would get mad at him and need a break from talking or seeing him he would still try to text me bc he thought i had 'enough space' or he would show up to my classes and try to talk to me. then when i actually broke up with him cause i couldnt handle all of that anymore he would literally stalk me at school and show up to my classes. i was actually scared bc of the shit he was doing and again it was all about what he wanted he pretended like he knew what i wanted. i gave him so many chances to change but it wasnt until after he lost that he wanted to change. he would text me all day even when he was at work and then freak out when i didnt text him back in 5 mins. it was just too much. then he creates a new insta to dm me to 'talk' with 'no motive' claiming he changed but he didnt and he got pissed at me for not wanting to talk to him or associate with him even after close to 5 months. he was still trying to guilt trip me but i shut that down and blocked him again. then i asked another girl out after him. we were friends before when i was dating my ex bf and after i broke up with him i realized my feeling for her and asked her out. all was good until i had to move. i was down for trying to make long distance work and there was going to be almost monthly visits but she just shut down and (she is poly- or she claims) would be on calls with her other gf and then lie as to why she didnt respond. also note that she never talked to me about her other gf(this is a kinda long story). anyway she would just stop texting me or be totally uninterested in the conversation cause like i said i was trying to keep the relationship alive be she had just given up and i think she was doing it on purpose so that i would be the one to break up with her and she wouldnt have to do it which i realized after i broke up with her cause she was hurting me the way she was acting and even after multiple times of me expressing how i was feeling to her she made no changes. so story ended i broke up with her and no i have serious trust issues and worse insecurity issues

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greetings everyone, i have been suffering from depression for some years now. since september i've been feeling better, because i changed schools (restarting my high school all over again), my grades are better and i made a friend. it's summer break, and i'm feeling super depressed again. i have almost no one to talk to, much less listen to me. i always give everything i have to help others, but when i need help i feel that people give the least effort to help or just ignore it. at night it’s very difficult to sleep as i start thinking, i get anxious and it becomes a vicious cycle. i can't feel motivated to do the things that i like. i think everything i do is not worth it, including myself. i’m starting to wonder how everyone’s life would be if i never existed, i don't know what to do anymore… i feel so useless, alone and on the verge of having an existential crisis…

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hello there, i hope today's been kind to you! ♥ i just wanted to share something i've been working on, as i've always had a hard time socializing, since i was young as i cope with being neurodivergent, since my irl best friend died, it's been harder to be social, though, i've tried reconnecting with an old high school friend, an old friend i made from being in a quinceanera & making a new online friend & reconnecting with them, though, it seems we've all fell out & i don't have any offline friends, i've noticed in my attempts i try through face-to-face, apps, social media, or messaging, i often end up in a situation where i left the last message & i feel uneasy about double-texting, so neither one of us reaches out, or it seems that our friendship doesn't progress & falls out, i'm unsure what to do, especially if we exchanged contact info face-to-face, i feel we're not on the same page, emotionally, which may be a factor... tl;dr: as someone who copes with being neurodivergent & the loss of my best friend, i've found myself without friends in my city, and in situations where i feel our conversations & friendship come to a stalemate, where i don't feel comfortable double-texting & unsure of what to do to maintain a healthy, happy friendship both online & irl, thank you for reading & i hope today's been kind to you ! ♥

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lately i've felt lonely, i'm overthinking things, i haven't seen my friends in a while and i miss them, but at the same time i'm dreading meeting them. i've kind of isolated myself and now i don't want and know how to stop this. i want to stop it but at the same time i don't. because i know isolating makes me feel super relaxed, but also too relaxed that i don't want to leave it. but it alse makes me kind of sad and lonely. i mean it's not like i'm completely alone, but still....plus, i know my friends are gonna be curious about what i was doing, but i did almost nothing. nothing exciting or important happened and saying that to them makes me feel bad, partly because i have a feeling they think i'm lying or don't want to share things, but mostly because i feel shitty and like they pity me or expecting me to tell them something, so i often try to find something interesting i can tell them, sometimes i even do things i don't feel like doing at the moment (nothing serious, don't worry), so i have some story or something...idk, all this is kinda bothering me most of my life. is it weird? i don't know exactly how to explain it....

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i don't know why but i want to be a tragic hero. i keep trying hard to gain sympathy but when i get it i don't feel any better. i'm not sure what i really want. i also keep thinking of another world where i really was someone with a tragic past. i also have another problem. whenever one of my friends are feeling down, i don't know what to say to them. they sometimes tell me stuff, knowlingly or unknowlingly, and i don't know what do i say back to them. lastly, i wanted to tell one thing. almost every time i make a thread, i always leave it without giving back a response. not because i don't want to but because most of the time i don't know what to write back. so pls forgive me if i don't get back to you. also, thank you

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i genuinely want to help them do the work but i can’t because they do it better or maybe i cant do it at all.and this is a voluntary work.im afraid that they might think that im useless and i leave all the work to them...

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my father tends to take his religious belief way too serious. he talks about it at his job to others saying he studies the word of god there’s nothing wrong with that and it’s great that he does it on his free time, but it comes to work sometimes i feel like he puts himself in that situation whether this is right or wrong you don’t mix religion with work because not everybody wants to hear nor do they believe in the same beliefs like my father

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why is it that when somebody posts a question on here at times nobody wants to answer why is that.

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i'm trying to talk to someone but no one is connecting with me

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hi, i have been depressed for some time, im getting better. (nobody knows im depressed) but i noticed scars on some of my friends arms and other friends of me have a really hard time as well, i really want to help them. but i dont know how?? what can i do to help them?

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i am constantly sad and overwhelmed i am never happy with what i do i don’t love myself nor i feel proud of myself. i am in my second year at ucsb and i honestly don’t know what i am doing i feel so out of place. i just wish i could give up but i can’t do that either i feel so lonely and tired of life

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i don’t know how to express this but for me as college graduate with associates degree in communications. me at 28 i feel like i shot myself in the foot for not doing internship earlier. do you feel that internship can be for anybody or is it too much

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hi so i’m a student and i’m having this rly rly important national exams this year so naturally i’m rly stressed out and it’s only 2 months away on top of that i’m having major family issues and it’s clearly not helping at all and lately i just feel rly down and can’t seem to get anything right i rly feel like giving up at this point and keeping my grades up is a major struggle i’m just a hot mess atm crying has also became my daily routine so i’m rly in need of some advice

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i don’t feel i should have to explain myself as to why i dont like this person if i’m not interested in that person why even bother asking what my reason i dont have to tell you

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both of my parents are really emotionally abusive. i’m constantly told that i do nothing right, that i should “just get over it” whenever i’m feeling down, called stupid and lazy no matter how much i try in school and at home. normally i just put up with it, i’ll be old enough to move out in a few years, but it got to be so much recently to the point where i’ve just hidden in my room most of the time, trying not to talk to anyone. i don’t really know who to talk to but i found this place...

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cant stand two people when you’re around people like that definitely gotta be careful they’ll show another side of them that you’ve never seen before depending on the crowd you see them with, but when they’re by themselves it’s totally different story

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i have a master's degree, was a top manager of a company for several years, then the company got sold and we were all laid off. 7 months and i am still unemployed. i have applied to over 20 places a week, one week was close to 50 and up to fifty miles away. sunday was my last unemployment payment. i am a single mom, really feel like crying tonight.

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im 14 and i never told no one that im transgender. the problem is that im very shy and cant even make myself to take a bus alone. its really important to me to tell someone and fast, but i cant make myself do it if someone can help me i will really appreciate it

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i don't know what to do with myself. i never feel like i'm good enough or have the capability to be good enough, and hearing "it gets better" hasn't done me any good. i'm a mess and it's like nothing works. i'm not normal and i'm not capable like everyone else is. my boyfriend is just as depressed and so relying on him isn't an option right now because he needs me to rely on, so it just feels like i've got nowhere to go. i'm running out of options.

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i feel like i wanna scream out loud saying that i wanna die cause i can't take it anymore.. facts about me: married to woman have 3 kids i'm gay have financial problems career disorder don't like my job haven't got promoted for the last 10 years just transferred to another department on the same or lower postision which means no promotion for the next 4 years

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i don’t know why everytime i go to bed my heart starts to beat i feel really concern

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my depressions coming back full force and its bringing my eating disorder with it. the main issue is that ive been taking some drugs as punishment when i eat too much. i dont really know what to do because now im strugling with not taking them.

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i am usually a laid back confident person but it feels like i make the same mistakes over and over again. its like i am too far gone with a history of falling short and mistakes that never leave me and i cannot forget. but when i do forget.. then it comes back stronger when i am feeling good. it makes me just want to start over and leave everything again. i want to make things work but i am reminded of all my shortcomings. it is an endless cycle. any advice?

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i am currently struggling with the loss of interest in most of my life, home, people, activities...i am dealing with some of the worst current challenges that anyone could dream of and well i think i'm slipping away. i've never felt like this and have overco.e many horrible things. just looking g for some insight and helpful advice

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this is the most funniest/stressful problems that i’ve had so far. theres this thing that the school wanted to give us, and the teacher told us to get one. i dont know what has gotten over me that time but instead of getting one, i just passed it along. the worse part is i didnt have memory of it and thought i had one.some time passed of stressing about where it went, and realizing what really happened.i became more stressed because i need to get one from the teacher now. now this teacher is very strict and idk how i should explain my situation to her cuz... it seems so stupid to be real. they’re selling it in a bookstore but my friend said to not buy cuz it’s expensive... i dont have any idea how to confront this situation...

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ever had those moments where you know that it’s nothing to freak about and just need to go with the flow cuz you can’t to anything about it anymore,yet you can’t help but think about the bad things that could happen.. people say to just “calm down” and to “stop overthinking” yet i can’t. i guess it’s already in my system

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i really don’t know to do at this point my stepmom is really starting to get on my nerves and i’m trying everything within me not go off but i’m about too.me and my fiancee are going to look at rings and she wants to give me her ring i’m like no you have your own ring okay i need to have my own it doesn’t make sense she wants to be incontrol of everything i’m already losing it because of her

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my friends convocation will be held on this september, which means they are officially graduated diploma. andddd here i am.. stuck :) they told me to attend the ceremony so we can take a pictures together but... tbh i really dont wanna go, im afraid people will looking at me orrr judging asking me why i cannot graduate with them, why i extend one more semester, why it is hard for me to pass the subjects when everyone can do it. i wanted to come and the same time i dont wanna come. im just afraid.

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big boy ben gave us an awesome site to share love and connect through the remedy of our mental difficulties. virtual hugs and kisses for everyone. big boy ben is forever a legend in our hearts. he is our leader forever.

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love it's a drug never use it to use somebody only in a pure heart can you find true love everything else just fades away it's like life was gray before someone like you came into view i came out of my cage and iv been doing just fine but the tiger is sleeping on the inside with all the money in the world the love cannot be mine in paradise surrounded by 369 destiny is calling me i want it all i'm falling asleep i'm breaking the wall i'm stirring the drink i'm giving everything away for the love that i believe to be true it's in everyone one of you ~love is real

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i often hear it a lot whether couples should or shouldn’t sign prenup papers. for some reason some tend to make a big deal outta it unless both couples can agree on who gets who, they automatically assumed that if a prenup is involved theres a prediction that the marriage won’t last

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if your addicted to weed alcohol problems family issues depression just beep me up

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at this point i’m not sure if i can keep myself altogether because my professor emailed me explaining that he wanted to have a sit down chat about wednesday’s test apprently he showed me somebody else paper along with mines saying both of our tests are the same.i immediately didn’t hold back first of all i would never anybody none of my answers okay i’m not covering for nobody however that person sitting next to me copying off my answers,

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theres no point in being married anymore it’s over hate that feeling obviously he wants the marriage he didn’t wanna work anything out

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i wait for a long time to find a match to talk to and nothing .. i really need to vent and i hardly find anyone :(

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because of my job i havent lived in the same place for more than a year in about 5 years due to this i'm constantly leaving people and meeting new people and now i feel like i dont have a support system i've been so sad lately and starved for finding people who share my general interests the person whose company i enjoy the most has a long distant girlfriend so i cant hang out with him without feeling guilty and that weighs on me i've tried finding other people who share my interests but its discouraging when everyone i meet thinks the music i listen too and the shows i watch are lame i'm really not that unique i know i'm just somehow looking in the wrong place i don't feel comfortable talking about it with anyone i know and i'm just holding a lot of stuff in idk what to do

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read to yourself... what is it to be depressed? are you stressed? have you been put to the test? you say you can't compete with the rest you are surrounded by people you detest you lay in the room and make a nest a suicide button you wish to be pressed but no one told you that you are the best you are strong you are smart you are courageous and you for sure have heart just be aware... what you do, say and think it bends your mentality it's okay to cry to hate to think of brutality pondering life and questioning morality in the end you must just let it go and before you know one little poem will change your reality! ~you are not alone and you are loved

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idk i dont wanna say it like online since i dont want people to think im saying it for attention and 'cause im not really that close with the people i wanna tell rn. im just writing fanfics and stuff to distract me and it's working, i just wanted to put this somewhere. venting doesnt work well for me if it's just some private note so here you guys go i guess. :p

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hi there sometimes i feel left out of my family it feels bit like i’m just not important to them. my parents compliment my bothers and do exactly the same thing and they just complain that it’s not how they wanted to be and my bothers just treat me like trash. it makes me feel alone when i’m at home it hardly feels like home.

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it’s not like i cry everyday.i hardly cry at all, but there are times when i feel embarrassed or maybe pressured ,my eyes will get watery and my cheeks will burn up ,and eventually people will notice,and i’ll be more embarrassed and self conscious about what people will think about me.i try to play it cool but deep inside i feel kinda lame for tearing up for small things. and i know it’s nothing to cry about, yet i still do. are there any advices to not tear up easily?

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since when did marriages become business arrangements i hate that

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envy that’s one thing i cant deny at all i do get envious at times and it’s not good at all for me to act like that just being honest about it

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stop deleting stuff

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i have been completely depressed with life since my dad died and it doesn’t help that my marriage has been a mess for the last 3 years. i am so lost, i somedays consider leaving this world or just get in my car and drive away from this life.

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do you ever feel like you live in ur own universe? people outside don't fit in there .. like maybe u can share some thoughts colors shapes from ur world .. but in the end of the day no one actually fits in there it's both beautiful and confusing maybe beautiful cause when i think about it .. i feel this amazing feeling regarding how we as human beings can be this unique and different yet in the end can hug and inspire each other confusing cause it gets lonely sometimes in the end .. i dunno ?

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i hate it every time i hear this all the time if you’re gonna cheat just do it in peace. you shouldn’t be cheating on your spouse at all

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relationship teaches u how to survive in life and friendship teaches u how to live life but i don't have both so how can i survive n live life

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i think i should stop trying to follow a hopeless dream such as pursuing arts. there are a lot more talented artists out there anyways but why is it that i keep going back to it no matter how hard i try to just give it up. its hopeless no one would even care if i gave up on it i think no one would even notice i left arts. im happy because of doing art but im also feeling empty and insecure at the same time. i dont think i should pursue this. its just not cut out for me for all the time i spent trying to improve it just doesnt help. it stays the same. i worked so hard yet i still cant improve and i dont think i can ever surpass the ones that have 'talent' i know its not talent but its hardwork but i dont think i can be as hardworking as them. i want to try harder i dont want to give up but its just not right. im not happy anymore doing arts..... it feels just like a burden to me now but i dont ever want it to be like that. im... just going to give up its pointless following my so called dream

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i'm done can't take it anymore things are getting worst don't wanna live anymore feels like killing myself

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i got a shirt delivered to me from my cousin which was but when i saw saying on it that said fuck fear i was like okay then, she gave me the note encourage your kid to overcome their fears. i’m like the first thing that came through my mind are you really serious what example are you setting that’s not right

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i'm done breathing, i'm done talking, i'm done eating, i'm done living i cannot live like this anymore. i try man, i really do... and know what? i always try to do my best. but why do things always go wrong? it seems like its supposed to happen, i mean, me killing myself. i dont really think i will ever get over these awful thoughts, so

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new to this site and have no clue how it works or gonna help me. i just i dont know i really wish to find someone to talk about me......i'm 17 ,female by the way really want to have a friend i think i'm trying to survive with a hope and loneliness makes it worst

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so many things , can't stop crying , can't live like this anymore 1) have alot of friends but i chose few who i used to share now they ignore tooo i have no friends to talk tooo ... if i talk they r not interested 2) i had many relationship each had some issue an ended this time i don't wanted to be in any , but then it happened first 2 months was the best , then it changed ignorance came in ,meeting stopped and then there was no communication at all , he calls me only if he has work or needs money , he meets only to drink n party , he never ask how m i , how was my day nothing at all after telling him i have got anxiety issues , stressed out, getting into depression and i just wanted to talk to him , but still he ignored he always tells m busy at work but he is out with friends or talking to other girl i wanted a stable relationship and this was the last i can't keep changing bf can't handle the social status every where i go , people ask me about him i can't just answer everyone , i can't carry fake smile to work everyone things m the strongest i give advice to people even if they call me at middle of the night i come to help but im in this state i have no one to answer anytime i need help i don't know who will i call who will i seek for help i need someon to talk i need to cry out loud i need to get over this i need help i can't take it anymore i don't feel like living ....

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such a wonderful day oh will it stay as long as you look to the sky never say goodbye for all those that fear life is in your ear for all those that cry and you ask yourself why you think you are denied each time you try be thankful think bountiful and one day your life will be full of good days and they will stay dedicated to brighten your day!

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i don't know what else to say. so many people around me yet i still manage to feel so lonely and my thoughts don't help as well. i feel like no one cares about me, heck there is no one to care about me. i have no real friends, zero social life and my mind hates me. so basically my life is giving me hell rn. however, i do try to be positive about everything but sometimes i just can't help but cry at how pathetic my life is and i know it will get better but when? how much longer do i have to wait? i just want to stop feeling like this, like i'm drowning.

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lost my best friend 💔

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hi, i'm new here but really need some insights. so i have this friend who used to be one of my best friends. we've drifted a bit because she got these new friends who i don't really fit in with. now i don't interact with her that much and when i do, it's always soooo awkward. i miss the times when we were very close and i want to fix that friendship. how can i do this?

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my sister is thinking about getting into the porn industry. the first thing that came through my mind is like wtf are you serious i know you’re not that dumb to wanna to sign up to get into a business that risky, it’s not what they think it is. i told her if you’re gonna do it you need to know what you’re getting yourself into a lot of young girls 18 and 19 yrs old get into for the money not realizing that there’s a lot of shit that goes on behind the scenes i know it’s not my choice to tell her no but hoping that talk to her about it will make her have enough sense to really think about long it

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how is it that i’m the fool when i ain’t the one that got escorted by security to leave on graduation when i was sitting in my cap and gown, my fathers gf who was acting like a nut call herself bringing alcohol she started acting crazy as soon as she took a couple of sips. the first thing i got was a text message from my father saying it’s not what you think it is like really so i suppose to just brush this off like it’s nothing? like seriously it is a big deal because not only did she acted like an idiot she embarrassed, my mom was so heated at my father because she said to him you gotta this mess not me or anybody else, gf the nerve to get mad at me all because security escorted her out as to think i caused no bitch you did that to yourself

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i don't have any sympathy for addicts. that might sound harsh, but i don't give a f***,"if they're in pain because of drugs, it's self-inflicted. you know what you're doing when you take it.

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i am transgender and asexual and i really want to share it with someone that i know but im too shy to do this and i dont know what to do. i would be very happy if someone can help me

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my sister just told to me that she started stripping to bring in some extra money. shes in college and wants to make sure everything is paid for. i can understand how expensive college is and sometimes desperate times calls for desperate measures my mother doesn’t know about it, she only told me about it i’m like i won’t say nothing but if you doing something else on the side as well besides dancing you keep it on the low

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the one thing i hate the most is when somebody tries to tell you go to this place or go to that place especially when it comes either to hair salon or nail salon if you’re familiar or use to going to whichever place you’ve been going too, if they’re professionals and they take pride in what they do hey why when if they’re giving you good high quality service. i can recall one incident where my cousin had the nerve to say to me you know my beautician does a better than yours like really. ive never met your beautician so how can you say to me she does a better job, like don’t tell me what to do

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its hard for me to let it go but i need to most importantly i take ownership of what i did i’m not perfect and i don’t expect holding onto hurts

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my fiance and i have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together since 8months into our relationship. my fiance used to love being intimate and physical with me. always held my hand told me about her day and the general need to be around me and to touch me. she used to love sex she couldn't keep her hands off me, but for the last 6 months or so she wont let me hold her or let me initiate sex and neither does she. she does sleep in my arms, but i feel like a pillow. she denies me every time i want to be intimate and has some sort of excuse. i tried talking to her about it but she keeps saying that shes fat which is not the case or that she is too ticklish for me to touch her, which cannot be true because it wasn't an issue before. when i ask her why she doesn't want me to touch her anymore she says im imagining things and when i ask her why she doesn't want to have sex anymore she gets upset and tells me that everything isnt about sex, which i agree with but she was always the one even more into it than i was. what im trying to get at is that its not like her to not want these things anymore. i asked and no definite answer was given that i am at the point where i just feel like its over, like she had a personality change or i just dont know her anymore. without the intimacy like we had before i just feel like a roommate. i dont know if im seeing this wrong or if something much worse is going on that i dont know of, but i dont know if i can live like this with her.

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hello, everyone! it's nice to see so many new people joining the site. because of the influx of people i'd like to lay down some ground rules in order to keep this forum focused and on track. first of all, if you want to reply to a comment you must reply to it directly. new posts targeted directly as a reply to a user will be removed. in addition, new posts that are asking questions that are off topic, meaning those that do not concern mental health or are not asking for advice in some way, will be removed without notice. posts that are undescriptive and vague will also be removed. for example, a one word title and a brief statement as details does not encourage discussion and is not allowed. i hope these new rules will further improve the quality of responses and better assist those seeking help. take care, everyone.

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i just recently received a gift from my dad’s girlfriend.not sure why but it’s very odd that all of sudden she wants to send me something, we barely speak and barely get along i don’t know what she’s trying to do either she wants to fix the issues with me or is she using the gift as a way of trying to buy her way outta what she did either way something’s off

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one particular question on here i jusr saw was quite difficult where one person kept on dwelling on cheating on their drivers test exam, stating that only certain questions they had difficulty on is understandable.i mean it’s not excuse for it but at least admitting to something you did wrong not too many people do that. however that person telling the other to seek professional consultation thats foul

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whats the difference between an opportunist and a con-artist

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me and one of my cousins don’t get along at all. i wanna like punch this girl in her mouth for making that comment talking about hope your baby comes out charbroiled like really yo

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i get a decent amount of sleep--like 8ish hours. same as i have for the past 7 or so years. nothings changed about my routine, except for that i'm working from home. but even that was since about a year ago. i've only started feeling especially tired recently. i rarely leave my apartment, so i don't think it's physical activity or socialising thats making me tired... what is it? help. a tired friend.

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i just went off on my dad’s gf cause she call herself trying to pick me up from school when it’s not her job to that she’s not on the pickup list. i don’t care how mad she got and same for my father i didnt care neither because not do i not get along with my sisters also don’t get along with her neither

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i ready to go off on my husband this man had the audacity to install a tracking device in my phone. i’m asking him what the hell for. if anything i should asking what the hell are you doing that you don’t want me to know

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so i posted before, my ex-on/off suddenly started avoiding me 2 weeks back and last week blocked me on whatsapp after i asked an explanation. he unblocked me 5 days later. in the meanwhile i didnt contact him via any other means. today he says he is sorry for acting like a psycho. my q is how do i react. i said ok.. he didnt reply back? shud i give him a taste of his own medicine? if im rude i will push him away. if i act as if nothing happened, he will take me for granted and again accuse me of being clingy. so what do i do?

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i still having a feeling of guilt for cheating on my drivers ed test however it was certain questions i had the most difficulty on.even though i passed it still makes me wonder should i go back and tell the dmv what i did or let it go, i cant what i did i wish could but i can’t

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so literally in the last say 4 years i have had like 5-6 break ups. someof them not serious, a couple of them serious. and im not saying i dont make any mistakes but the breakups werent even cos of me fighting the reasons were- ex came back, still likes the ex, was cheating on me, ex threatened me- i dont want anyone etc. everyone makes mistakes in a relationship, and i have seen more controlling domineering and obnoxious ppl have stable relationships.. then y doesnt anyone choose me. why does everyone just scarper at the first opportunity, though they will be swearing eternal love like literally one night before. im tired, my self esteem is in tatters. it hurts to rise up broken, try to mend my heart and get it broken again. im in despair. im on meds fr depression too. please help.last breakup was so bad i went into acute attack, lost weight in like 15 days had continuous anxiety and tears. im so scared im not worthy of being loved and im a failure and ill die alone. i feel i cant go on

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dont know what to do at this point my former ex boyfriend is wanting to get back with me but i’m not sure about it. i just feel like he’s got something up his sleeve of why he’s desperate of wanting another chance, i believe there’s a lot more as to why he wants to talk with me after what he’s put me through don’t know

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so i was dating this guy for 2-3 months.. we were both attracted to each other and he seemed to want to make it more serious. i was older he didnt mind. everything was good when one night his ex came and threatened suicide and pregnancy. i happened to be in the vicinity and he saw me cry. but i dint interfere between them. he told me he wants to breaak up and not date anyone. however after that incident, his ex moved on and he kept in touch with me. (she wasnt pregnant). he kept hanging out with me wen i asked and half the time on his own. i was working towards being a very good friend and then see what happens. once when i was out of town he constantly texted me etc. till last month he said i was his favorite person after his bff. suddenlt since this month(he has gotten busy and is in the last year of his degree), he kind of avoids me,citing he is busy but gos hanging out with others.. even a junior girl. he said he is irritated since i ask to meet him thrice a week.. when i checked i used to just check up and text him about his day and never ask to meet.this went on for 2 weeks.. and i texted him to ask whats going on and why he avoids me like the plague. cos till last month he used to send friendly texts about his day and now he doesnt text at all. he said he is working, he doesnt want to make the effort and im clingy and blocked me on whatsapp. i respected that and didnt call or sms. what i dont understand is till 2 weeks earlier im his close friend and now he acts like im a psycho stalker? i never made my attraction to him too obvious, rather he only used to make it obvious in front of his peers. i havent gone or made a scene or kept calling him or anything. it really hurts me.i just text routinely like i used to before and he got irritated with that too. i dunno whats going on.. and why over 1-2 weeks he disregarded my friendship too. one week he hasnt unblocked me and i havent contacted him. how do i react?

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marriage sometimes is not always easy to deal with especially if you have a husband like mines who is controlling and very domineering. i feel like i can only blame myself for allowing him to take over it’s getting to the point where i’m done however i’m on the edge of filing for divorce just don’t know how much time i can hang on for

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what makes people think that beautiful women don’t get cheated on in relationships when they only think that descent women are usually the ones that get it the most?

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when you dance with death it comes to you. i don't cry when people die. i just understand dat if you don't wanna die stay out da way and don't do sh-t to get you killed early in your life. we all gon die one day i just hope da reason is for sum i stood for.

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alright so shdsfdfsfdfsfdfsfds i'm currently like recovering from self harm and it's been like a month or like 3 and a half weeks since i last cut!!! there was also this part of recovery that i like to call 'emotional numbness' because it's not really an emotion. it's like a lack of emotion. i hated getting it- which led to me wanting to be sad again- but i'm doing a lot better! that emotion-thingy is a lot less frequent and i relly less on things online to keep me happy! speaking of which, i'm getting more happy recently (and not for the wrong reasons)! i'm super proud that i can finally accept the fact that what i did was unhealthy. i never accepted that before. i'm so glad websites like these could help me whenever i didn't want to speak to real people. thank you to anybody who ever left a comment on my insights. each one of you were very kind and helpful. and to anyone who is starting recovery, you can do it. it has it's downsides, but once you start really recovering, you'll be very happy. i know i sure am. <3

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hi! i have some problems to communicate with others, mostly when using app like whatsapp, facebook messenger, etc. when i using them, i feel like i being kind of cold or don't really demonstrating what i really feel, so i kind of feel bad about using them, principally whan talking with someone i'm not very familiar or when asking a favor (not sure if it's the way i write the messages or that because i don't use emojis, i don't like them). sorry for who is reading this, i kind of beated around the bush, but let's talk about the problem. this year, i'm trying to participate in a scholarship, but i need a recomendation letter, so i asked to a teacher and she gave me a positive response. last year i had asked, so i asked again, thinking it was easier to her, because she already had an idea about the letter. since then, passed almost two weeks and i didn't received any sign about the letter, so thinking she perhaps forgot about it, in a weekend i wrote a message, something like: "hi, how is the letter?". after sending it, i kind of regreted about how i wrote it (don't know why, but every time i send a message to her, i feel like i need to rewrite it again), but i received a sign that she read the message and didn't answer it. already passed one day since this happened and i don't know what to do. i feel like i need to apologize about the way i wrote the message, because i feeling really bad and sad about it. was i wrong about sending the message, is she angry about it, or is she so busy to talk about it? i really apreciate anyone responding it thank you very much

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is it selfish for single mothers not to have their children’s father on child support. some mothers have them paying while other moms don’t want to or feel the need to put them on it

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i wanna fuckin kick my cousin’s ass for posting personal information about my sister’s miscarriage on social media. i when off the wall why would you even post something like that when she’s grieving.

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whats the difference between a psychologist and a therapist

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they always say things are better left unsaid oh definitely yes but other times you want to know what was said so you can defuse the issue !

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i did it guys i finally passed in my exams. i did it. i'm so happy, thank you all thank you for everything thank you for being with me all this time thank you for keeping me motivated i'm really thankful to all of you i was in really depressed state if it weren't for you i couldn't have made it through. i almost lost everything friends family everything after failing i had no idea how to go on where to start but it's over now. thank you guys thank you so much

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as a mom of two daughters who the fuck are you to tell i should wear g-string or a thong on the beach with my young daughters when i dont feel comfortable doing that, a lady on the beach came outta no where and told me why don’t you show your buttcheeks off i’m like excuse me seriously lady i dont know you and second of all don’t tell me what i should wear if you feel comfortable enough to show your naked ass kudos to you sister but not all moms are the same

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to anyone who knows about like all my other insights, i don't cut anymore. i have some school therapist thing too now i guess? but whenever i'm just sitting at my pc with nothing to do i just miss going on tumblr and looking at thinspo and other people's cuts. i miss relating to angsty fanfictions and i miss the want to cut. i don't get it. i lost the want to all of that two or three days before i started therapy and i've only felt the cutting one once or twice. i miss being sad. i don't get it. this isn't even for attention too, i miss it because of how it feels kind of?? idk but i wish i didn't miss it.

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whats the difference between a sugarbaby and an escort

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ive been dealing with this for days now and a part of me wants to brush this off, but then it’s like i have to deal with what i did but making a stupid choice by using my cellphone when i was taking dmv drivers ed quiz. there were some questions i had the most difficult on other questions i had no issues with getting right my thoughts on this is should i just brush this off or should i deal with the stupid choice i’m not excusing myself for what i did

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is fentanyl detox worse than regular heroin detox

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i just recently passed my drivers ed exam good in all, however i had difficulty with certain questions i seemed to have an issue with, wrong thing i did was searched through my cellphone for the answers even though i cheated on my exam with certain questions like said i had the most difficult on, while other questions i had no problem getting right what should i do go back or just live with what i did

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i told my parents i'm having sex and they seemed okay with it, my family is decently open about sexual topics, but then i told my boyfriend that my parents know and he freaked out. he said "he's annoyed" and honestly i don't know what to tell him. i don't enjoy lying to my parents for extended periods of time and if i asked my boyfriend before hand whether i should tell them he would've said no and then i would've had to continue lying to them. how do i help him understand it's not that big of a deal and to not start a big argument over it?

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i can't talk to people without freezing up and becoming a strutting mess even though i don't have a stutter. i even have the same problem with online chatting. i have a hard time putting my mind together when talking to someone so conversations with me are just awkward. though it's a little better when written down it takes me forever to put it down and check it over and over again until i feel it's right and even than i still hesitate to send it. my heart starts hammering away in my chest, i get cold, i feel short of breath, i start to get teary eyed. if i mess up in any way while talking to someone, whether or not it's a small not noticeable thing or not even my fault i feel like it is my fault. which leads to me just shutting myself in and berating myself. i've tried talking to someone before. different people 3 times. but it never lasts long, less than five visits and nothing gets done no matter how nice they are because of how i am when it comes to talking about anything personal related to me and i always feel like i'm taking a space for someone else who truly needs it way more than me. (though the last therapist i talk to prescribed me some sort of medicine though i don't remember what it was. ) even if it's about my day i still feel as though i'm saying something stupid and should shut up before i drive a person away. the only time i can make myself do something i would be to frighten to do is if i needed to help someone or if i'm irritated/ angry. (ex: if my friend needs something and is too afraid themselves to get it or if an innocent person is being picked on.) however, if i'm being picked on it has to go too far before i stand up for my self. ( going from embarrassed of the situation to angry) i'm sorry that this is so long. i just don't know what's wrong with me. i've talked about anxiety and other things with my mother but i've never been diagnosed with anything. i just want it to stop so that i can do the things i want to do with my life without having to prepare a speech before hand.

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hello there, i hope today's been kind to you ! to sum up, i lost my best friend and my only irl friend to suicide last summer, and this is just a vent about it, there's no need to read it, though, thank you so much for checking this out, and i hope the rest of your day will treat you well... <3 since i lost my best friend, i still blame myself for his suicide since we had a falling out, and he blamed himself, and had a hard time coping with everything on his own, although he was abusive, i don't blame him for what he did since he never really got to learn what a healthy relationship is. although it doesn't justify his actions or how unhealthy our friendship/relationship was, however i was still his only support despite him making me the only one to be his therapist in a sense, and he pressured me into saying yes to him repeatedly. i don't really care about his abuse or manipulation anymore now. i just miss him every day so much, no one can replace him and nothing can truly express what it feels like... his mother particularly was the worst in his treatment towards him and his sister and his home life wasn't the best, much like mine. although his father and sister were kinder to me, they did not really acknowledge how close we were, none of them did. he let me know i am his closest and dearest friend to him in the world, yet to his family, i felt more like a stranger and someone his mother always wanted me to be away from him due to her being unaccepting of other races/religions outside of her own... i just miss him so much and i wish things didn't turn out the way they did. i try my best to not blame myself though his mom still tries to manipulate me for answers to things she doesn't want to hear, and i wish they got him the help he needed, they neglected him there. and the last time i cried at home, my father put his hands on me and my mother just told me to "get over" his suicide... they're emotionally absent, so i have to cry away from home, so when i have to stay at home, it just really hurts since i can never express myself and only he understood how close we were, it really hits home when my parents just say get over his suicide without me even bringing it up... i just, i don't know, it just really hurts to still not be supported after all this time, my family acts like he never existed when he was and is the only friend i ever truly had irl and my best one, and none of my online friends know how to support me, especially since i can't express myself about this at home, so it hurts so bad, and now i'm too scared to get close to anyone else because of the trauma of losing him, i'm very grateful to have medicaid and access to therapy, though, it took me being put on a legal hold as a minor and a threat of cps to finally receive it, my best friend turned 18, so there was no repercussions to force his family to help him and that hurts my hearts... other than that, i don't know, i just needed someplace open to vent about this since i can't cry at home or get any support at all, when i try to support his family, his mother blames me and hurts me, and it hurts too much to talk to his sister, so just thank you to anyone who listened to this, it means a lot to me... <3

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i don't plot out murders on specific people, i don't want to hurt anyone specifically. i enjoy thinking or extremely disturbing thoughts of violence though. is this okay? if not how to i fix it? i enjoy the thoughts of someone (anyone) being in deafening pain and seeing the the extent of a situation a person can handle (mentally and physically). i do not plan on actually doing this to someone non consensually. though, i think about it often.

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i got no intrinsic motivation for anything in life. i've mostly been doing nothing for about 2 or 3 years now living in my parents' house. they never told me i needed to get a profession, never really got taken seriously i feel like. and i feel like i want to do something in my life. i'm 26 now and i've achieved nothing. i have no money and i can't move out. this environment is toxic. i want to do something that im passionate about but i got no intrinsic motivation. i've basically tried every bit of advice there is. i've tried new things (that i can try based on my budget), i've tried going to therapy, i've tried making friends, but... idk what to do with my life. i got no friends, my family sucks and i don't relate to them at all... i feel like i wanna do something but i feel stuck. please help before i decide to kill myself some day at random.

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fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck this fucking dude in my class told everyone that i cut since he was the only person who wasn't dumb enough to believe my shitty excuse but come on dude this fucker just told everyone oh my god two of the people he's told so far don't believe it cause i brought up the excuse during the call (it had to do with my pc's desk) so they don't believe him but this'll get to the whole damn class holy shit i'm not ready for this

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ive recently been looking into the topic and was thinking i kinda relate? im 16 and a girl and i feel romantic attraction (i want to hug and kiss someone) but i don’t have any interest in going further with those i crush on, nor do i find people ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’. i am interested in the idea of sex though, but i have never had it so i cannot differ from just curiosity or just a want to have it. idk guys, just looking for an outside opinion. thanks :)

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ohjesusfuckingchrist it's not in my sweater pockets and if it's not there or on the floor that means it was either brushed away by my school's janitor or it's somewhere in my house oh fuck- i mean i can always replace it 'cause i got multiple sharpeners, but what if someone finds out about the blade at my home? i dont want that to happen oh fuck

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i am watching too much anime i guess and now i started feeling like i was just using them as to escape from reality i literally watched 120 episodes continuously without leaving my room even once. i watched them locked myself inside my room away from the real world i've been doing this for past few months now i already finished a heck lot of them and still craving for them i've already disconnected from my friends family way too much and now when i think of it is just destroying my life but still don't stop even i've realised that what do i do i'm feeling helpless

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i'm married almost 3 years ago but there is not one day i can stop thinking about the past. my life before marriage was terrible went through break ups cheated and harassed and i'm worried if will it affect my future. i'm scared to do anything in life.the past has been haunting me both mentally and physically. i feel terrible i have a loving husband and he does know my past.

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hello, i am feeling very lonely and empty and sad. i am in university, and i used to have very closed friends but since i am doing a double major. i don’t see my friends that often anymore. and that makes me sad. beside that, i have this very close male friend. we had been very close which my best one, and i always enjoy his friendship. just 1 month ago he went to my dorm and something just happened. i started having feeling for him but he said that he doesn’t. he just want friendship. i am not sure of the feeling too. since then i am different. i feel very lonely and empty and keep thinking about him. but it’s been 2 month already. i don’t know that empty and sad feeling is because i don’t see my good friends that often anymore or it’s cause of that friend. at the same time i feel like maybe cause i was very close to him, i used to see him everyday, we studied together so that why i am missing him as a really good friend? and could someone please help me to see it more clear what cause my sadness, and what should i do to get out of them and being normal again? thanks a lot

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it's been getting worse, to the point were i had a whole dispute in my head trying to even type this. i was in a crowed trying to get on the bus, and i started shaking hard. someone stopped me to ask if i was okay not knowing it would make things worse. i don't know how to handle it anymore

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oof ok so ima make this quick cause this has been botherring for like the whole day aha so i'm an athiest at t acatholic school cause i used to be catholic i just didn't believe in god for some time ( i havent told my parentscause there's a public school right enxt to my neighborhood and i like the school im in rn) and people found out so like everyday someone just starts arguing with me about god and shit and it's annoying as hell but anyways this guy who sat next to me (who sat next to my crush and was like friends with my crush who im also friends with) literally told me i'm like worthless and don't belong in the school and how the school would be better off without me and uhhhhhh i cut a bit but it's been on my mind alot uwu sorry if there are any typos i rushed this aha

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ive been very stressed lately, and it’s been so hard to feel good about myself. my parents are always complaining about how much i cost to “keep around” and with college coming up they seem less than thrilled to help pay, which would be okay if school didn’t prevent me from having a job. at this point in time, i just feel like i’m worthless- a waste of space that no one really should care about because i just use up time and resources, and i don’t have opportunities to fix the problems i’m seeing- which just leads me to feel like a failure. i dunno, i might just be stressed though

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i talk to myself almost everytime i don't know why i do that it's kind of fun to me and i like talking to myself it's like i have another me inside me is it ok to talk to myself or is it not? do anyone else also talk to themselves?

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who else visit mellow talk regularly like me

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everything is a blur nothings clear don't know where i am standing don't know where to go and paths are blocked nothings helping this is too much for me no one cares i don't care anymore last resort is over nothing can be done i am doomed so all the past things comes out like this haven't imagined this will happen why i am even writing this makes no sense what am i doing with my life where i am who i am what's happening don't know who are you don't know why don't know what do you know don't know i don't know come out no i will not you're ok no i m not everything will be not it isn't don't worry you'll be just fine hope so

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i failed in my exams i don't know what to do now i am really frustrated i don't know even how to get out of this mess i am literally devastated no one like me now i am becoming a burden to all of them no one cares no one listens i can't focus i can't stand up i failed i failed in everything i had nothing left it's horrible in here i don't know i can even survive now please help please

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for me, this is a happy vent, but to a lot of people it's not, but i'll put this here anyway. i'm finally making better cuts :o just made some cuts that bled throughout and eeeee

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i love my girlfriend, we've been together about six months and she's honestly the best, most interesting, intelligent person. but she really is emotionally a mess and i worry about her. she's had the hardest life imaginable, her mum was a heroin addict, she lived in massive poverty, she was sexually abused growing up. before i met her she tried to kill herself twice. she's on antidepressants which help her function but they don't make the symptoms go away. she's such a kind, beautiful person but she struggles so bad, i mean sometimes she's ok but sometimes she can barely motivate herself even to take a shower or clean her teeth for days at a time. i love her so much but it's kinda scary sometimes. i'm kind of her only friend and the only person she really trusts. she even says like i'm the only good thing that's ever happened to her. i know she wouldn't do anything like try to kill herself again but i worry about her all the same.

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i came to know that my mums having an affair,i saw nudes on her phone and pictures of mans private part,i didnt see it intentionally as in spying or anything. it just keeps bothering me.hes her boss and he came to our city today,i read some messages which said meting u was so intense ,i hope nobody noticed etc etc. i dont know if it should bother me,as its her life whatever she wants to do,but i feel betrayed? i'm not even close to her.shes in office most of the time,and the other time when shes at home,we dont talk more than a few sentences.i'm used to being alone by now. just this year,my grades started going down ,and i got depressed and all ,they just thought that i was making excuses for not studying.i have written many suicide notes till this day.i write it ,knowing that i wont be able to do it,but i still write it.in the end,i dont do anything.my father somehow found one of these letters and it gave me such a bad feeling.i just wanted to disappear.my father is always worried about things.and i felt so bad tht he read all that,i know he just got more stressed.he was already stressed out because my grades were going down.its not like i' close to him either.he makes me feel worse about myself.he tells to his friends in front of me,that how hes worried tht i'm so bad,or how he worries what will happen to me when i grow up,cause i'm such an introvert. i cant even talk to someone about this,cause i hv no idea how.all my life,i hv never been that close to anyone,and never have i talked about my emotions,so i hv problems talking about my emotions,i myself have no idea about what i feel. and now,i hv got anxiety ,which is just wow. just 6 months back,i was emotionally closed,i felt no fear of exams,i was just a blank person,i was neither excited nor nervous about giving exams or doing anything like that.but now all of a sudden,this school has changed me alot.i get all nauseous and anxious before the exams and am unable to study.i hv brought this all upon myself.i solely am responsible for this.knowing this,yet ,i choose to blame my parents.i just feel alone.

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hello, i lost my mom this past april. she was only 55. we were really close and she was my best friend. im definitely having a really hard time. i haven’t talked to a therapist or anything because i just haven’t been ready to i suppose. i have been having anxiety & panic attacks. i will be fine for a week or so and then have a complete breakdown and it’s like i start over from the beginning with grieving. it hurts so much. i finally was so desperate i googled online therapy or forums where you can vent and express yourself. this is the website i clicked on. it has been really rough..

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i live in a family of 7, with 4 other siblings. its really hard getting along cause im the quietest one and the 2 younger siblings (one is a baby, he doesnt count yet) are so damn annoying. i share a room with my older sister and we understand eachother more than our parents understand us, which is cool. our youngest sisters toys/stuffed animals are also in our room since we have no where to put them. our room is constantly a mess cause youngest sister (ys for short) always wants to “play” with them. because of this, me and os (older sister) keep getting in trouble for “not cleaning our room”, or “not keeping our room clean”. ys is always blaming shit on us and yb (younger brother, srry if its confusing). if shes mad, and hits you, she’ll start crying and yells that we hit her. then we’d get in trouble, or she’ll be told to cut her crap. recently os and my mom were watching a movie and one of our cats was messing with the tv, so our mom told me to come get her and put her in our room. no problem, took her upstairs and closed the doors. about an hour passed and ys came knocking in our door. i told her not know (btw shes a 4 year old with a dramatic sassy 16 year old teen inside her) but she comes over to the sliding door and opens it, allowing for catto to escape. i was pissed cause i didnt want her messing with the movie again so i told ys to get out. she clung to os’s bed and stayed there while i tried to pry her off, and she started crying. i was getting even more pissed cause i forgot to pause the video i was watching and was getting well away from where i last went off. she pointing to one of her toys so i gave it to her and told her to get out. she said she “was scared”, which is always a lie cause wtf is there to be afraid of? a dark bathroom? (btw our room connects to a bathroom through a sliding door) i turned on the light and told her to get out, but she wouldnt. about 2 minutes passed and i was extremely pissed, and my mom yelled at her from downstairs to get out, and so slowly she did. she was closing the bathroom door so i put my hand lightly on the knob to make sure she closes it all the way, its instinct, and supposedly “closed it on her toe”. i never felt anything block the door, not her foot, her toe, anything. it was bullshit. she started crying like she was dying and my sister came up to see what was going on. i told her she closed it on her toe, but i guess she didnt hear cause of ys’s screeching and my mom yelled at me to get down. she told to stop messing/bullying my younger siblings, stop being mean, etc, or else i would get my stuff taken away. i went upstairs crying and went to my room. im just tired of her bullshit. shes (ys) always accusing me of shit she did, which i hate. she always wants what i have, even if it isnt hers, and most of the time shell get it, “cause shes only four”. i had gemstones and lego sets and other items ive collected for 2+ years that she would mess with (without my permission) and eventually loose. good news is that i found most of my gemstones, one sadly broke in half. my mom would always say after i went to her basically sobbing that “she was only four, what do you expect? you never used them”. ys even colored on my school project i planned for about a week with several copic markers, leaving the caps off. i would hide my stuff in places she couldnt find or reach but she would always get to them. me, yb (younger brother), and ys would fight a lot, but most of the time its ys telling us to “get out” (of our room, tf) “move”, or just hit us for no reason. we would just get her back. whenever my siblings fight, its always them starting it, not me. why should i be the one getting in trouble for shit they did, and i had no part of? im tired of their bullshit

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thanks in advance for helping me. i am in high school and want a girlfriend quite badly. problem is i can't seem to find anyone who is single and not straight (and interested). my school isnt super socially liberal overall, but there still exists a handful of other people just like me, but in couples. anyways, i am tired of being the single nerd here when i have so much love in my heart to give, and i would like advice to change that. any help will make me so grateful.

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ok so um ik i already did a "i think i look up to cutting" one but it was kinda hard not to cut even tho there was a good suggestion. anyways, so i used to only cut my legs, but i recently started cutting my arms. my classmate noticed and he seemd like he believed my excuse, but idk if he really did. he seems like a nice person but i'm afraid he's gonna like tell his friends. one of his friends is my main source of happiness so im just worried they're gonna distance themselves away from me now.

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i like pretending im a hawk and flying around my house when no one is home. i also pretend to lay an egg. is this ok?

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i think i’m going to kill myself on new years. i needed someone.

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my wife had an another affair, decided to leave me for him (didnt tell me) then the other man said no to her asked ng him when he was going to leave his wife. she is in love with him. i know it was just a silly casual fling for him but she thinks it was real. our marriage is destroyed. im still in love with her and im devastated. desperately trying to rebuild but if i could just step back i would see that she is not a good person, conceited and not trustable. what a mess. my friends tell me to leave. i cant believe im in love with with this horrible person but i am. i dont even have the energy to ask a question here.

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so basically for a few months now, i've been feeling really down because of various reasons that i won't say rn. so i tried cutting a few days ago and i can't stop. it's not a full cut with lots of blood, but still cuts i guess? every time i think about how i'll do better at cutting the next time as well. it also isn't helping that it's christmas break, because my main source of happiness just happens to be someone at my school. so yaaaaay! ok someone help me i guess

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i have this feeling that my boyfriend is cheating on me. he won't let me see his phone but will go through mine, when i am gone or asleep. i don't know what to say or do, i feel like if i say something i will screw up like i always have. what should i do?

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i am slightly distressed.. since a lot of years i have this fetish of masturbating thinking of women in oiled hair. by that , i don't mean greasy. but oiled and plaited hair. i looked through the internet, but never found something similar to this

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i think i am confused about what my true sexual orientation might be

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so just a short summary; i was put into homeschooling cause my mom was afraid i was being bullied. i never do my social studies and science, a little math and some english (dont blame me that the material is so damn boring) and i have nothing to show my teacher. starting tomorrow my mom wants me to scan and send all my work to her and im always feeling guilty, stressed, afraid, etc. i just need advice on how to stay focused and someone i can trust to vent to

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i am a straight married man, but i always feel strong desire to wear women's thongs / g strings and tights and i feel totally comfortable in them, i am sure many women also feel same wearing thongs, that's why they are so popular and expensive. however i am just confused is it wrong to have such desires and i am not a gay. i never had any feelings towards men. i just feel when women wears tight jeans and tiny shorts, they look good and no one judges them, which is good. i am not against that. but men wearing tights and nice panties considered as taboo or strange ?

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i used to do everything with my mother. it was always her and i, and sometimes my bipolar father would come and visit. last year my parents got a divorce, and now my mother has started to date. now that she started doing this, it makes me feel very depressed and alone. i've stopped enjoying hanging out with my friends ( it was right before my mom started going out ) i spend my weekends hidden away in my bedroom (along with my cat :o) i don't even leave my room a lot. i and my mother are very close and now i just feel distant from her. every weekend we go to stores and stuff like that and now she goes out and leaves me until 12:30 at night. now he starts coming to my house where i accidentally walk in on them. she said would only go out like once a week, but now its become often. my mom says she doesn't want to force him and i's relationship, but i feel like its being forced because shes bribing me to talk to him, shes gave me 200$ and is now starting to bribe me with something i've wanted for a long time, a bird. when ever i confront her about it, she guilts me saying "why don't you want me to be happy? don't i deserve to be happy?" which makes me feel very selfish she also says " your getting older and soon you'll want to go out with your friends" but i'm not even in highschool yet, and i struggle with social anxiety hence, i don't have many friends, which makes me feel unwanted and useless. another thing she says is that " he is very nice can be like a father to you" but i don't want him to be, i just want things to go back the way it was. she often compares me to my father, it just makes me feel so small and a horrible person. im just feeling so alone right now and just want someone just to tell me i'm going to be okay. i want to run away from all my problems, but i cant because of im only 13. i just really wanted to share this because i'm a dire need to talk to someone and i cant tell the few friends that i have because what if they judge me and i don't want to be my friend. last time, i told my friend i just wanted things to go back to the way it was and she shamed me for feeling this way and continued to talk about how happy she for my mom. i know its selfish, that i want it to go back to the way it was.

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my boyfriend had recently broken up with me saying that he just stressed and how he felt he just deeply cared for me but he felt that he just thought a relationship wasnt very good for him, when a girl told me otherwise i asked my friends to investigate,he said he just didnt want one no more. i plan to text him one more time and tell him hoe i feel before we act like strangers again. is this a good plan?

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i started cutting on 10/22/18. now its the end of the week and i have cut at least once every day now. i feel really lonely and i really want to die. cutting helps the pain go away.

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my mom's retired and we both live off with my earnings (not big enough for luxurious things but sufficient to get by). there are times when i give her our monthly cash/addtl cash late cuz i'm so busy with work. now, i give her the cash. then she starts whining that she wasn't able to do this/buy that.. and that money nowadays can't buy much.. ugh fuck. this always happens, everytime she asks for extra cash or if i hand it a bit late. i don't wanna quit my job because it's gonna pay off great soon. but she just makes me feel soooo inadequate, always. idk what to do. i just wanna disappear so she can live on her own and not have someone to blame anymore.

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how can i connect with people?

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it was a fun experiment, but due to user comments i've taken it offline. thanks for the feedback!

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i really love the ny giants so much, anyone feel the same way? was barkely a good pick? i certainly think so

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hello, how do i talk/listen to people?

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i have been depressed since i was 8 i felt in happy with the way i look and i have a small medical problem and my family make fun of me for it and i just am always crying and i tryed selfharm and my family found out and instead of trying to help or talk to me and they did was yell and ground me and when i say i want to live with my dad they threat him

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i always have trouble leaving comments on reddit or sending text messages because i keep going back to what people think if they read it all day. sometimes i just delete them because i don't think it's perfect. does anyone else have that problem? how do you deal with it?

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i really like seeing the (small :) ) community here helping each other and sharing their experiences. i just wish there was more activity on this page! much love to everyone out there

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i've always been "high stress" and can let my depression run away with it. lately, mostly with work, i've found myself punching walls or screaming in my car. i only ever feel the need to for a few minutes (sometimes complete with angry sobbing), and feel drained after. any advice on coping with what feels like pure rage? i'm generally very level headed and often referred to as kind and quiet.

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the title says it all. i always have trouble getting to sleep and i toss and turn for hours sometimes and then wake up in the middle of the night anyway. im so tired all the time its really hard.

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this is really tough to explain but i have recovered a bit from my depression and i miss the feeling. like i really enjoy sitting around and stewing all woe is me and i like other people feeling concerned for me. its really embarrassing and i feel guilty about the whole thing because i know there are people out there that are legitimately depressed and don't have to "pretend" i guess. i don't know

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17, i don't even know how to meet people, i've looked at clubs and everything but nothing is near me. if i go to a mall or something it would just be me sitting alone at a mall, what do i do?

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i check my snap messages constantly and then if people read them and dont reply im like "did i say something wrong?" sometimes even emails to people ill keep opening and closing my phone. do other people do that too??

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i've been trying to work out to deal with my depression and i really want to get on a treadmill. im really worried about looking stupid at the gym though and like i don't know what im doing

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hi.. i have no friends... my 21st birthday is coming soon - i wish i could do something with friends, but i have none. i am so socially anxious, i hate it i hate it i hate it... 21 years old, 25, 30... and... i am afraid. that i will be alone. forever. i hope every one of you is having a nice day♡

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i have struggled with it a lot.. it has been tough. im on new medication now and its really helping. im actually feeling hopeful for the future and that i will start feeling better. also thanks to nifty green rose for listening to me today :)

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can anyone tell me if i'm simply angry or that i am covering up my real emotions. i get easily irritated and want to kill myself or to suddenly just disappear from the place i live in because of things happening in my home but then after awhile, when i lose all thoughts about it.. its like nothing happened. but i know what i felt and i know that it is gone.. although i really want to vent it out.. i don't.. maybe i can't

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i've never been a very high achiever, but i really tried hard when i got into uni. my grades were actually better than a lot of people's for my first semester. then i just caught this deep depression out of nowhere and i went spiraling down until i couldn't get out of bed. i feel better now that it's summer, but my gpa for my first year is now terrible and it would take crazy amounts of work to recover to where i want to be.

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i mean when i lay in bed i go an hug a pillow kind of affection. some people have sexual fantasies, for me it's just having someone who cares.

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thank you to the creator of this site. it's surprisingly therapeutic.

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does anyone else do this? its pretty compulsive and kind of takes my mind off my anxiety. im worried it'll result in hair loss if i do it too much.

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sorry if this is a stupid question. but its hard for me to deal with people/places i haven't been in before. this is my first time on campus and i don't want to seem awkward in front of everyone

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i dont know what im going to do. i still love her so much. she has had problems since the beginning but now she refuses to see her doctor and she is getting harder and harder to deal with her mood swings. its so hard and i dont know how im going to deal with it.

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i really can't tell. what are good ways of knowing

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i went through some trouble a few years ago and i kind of internalized some sort of resentment towards my parents. it was father's day yesterday and i didn't even call home and i feel awful about it.

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nothing happened to me it's just been getting worse and worse. i don't know what to do