insights forum

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posting rules

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is it ok to talk to yourself?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i talk to myself almost everytime i don't know why i do that it's kind of fun to me and i like talking to myself it's like i have another me inside me is it ok to talk to myself or is it not? do anyone else also talk to themselves?
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regular visitor

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

who else visit mellow talk regularly like me
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you know what

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

everything is a blur nothings clear don't know where i am standing don't know where to go and paths are blocked nothings helping this is too much for me no one cares i don't care anymore last resort is over nothing can be done i am doomed so all the past things comes out like this haven't imagined this will happen why i am even writing this makes no sense what am i doing with my life where i am who i am what's happening don't know who are you don't know why don't know what do you know don't know i don't know come out no i will not you're ok no i m not everything will be not it isn't don't worry you'll be just fine hope so
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please help

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i failed in my exams i don't know what to do now i am really frustrated i don't know even how to get out of this mess i am literally devastated no one like me now i am becoming a burden to all of them no one cares no one listens i can't focus i can't stand up i failed i failed in everything i had nothing left it's horrible in here i don't know i can even survive now please help please
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i love cutting, and i'm getting better

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡4 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

for me, this is a happy vent, but to a lot of people it's not, but i'll put this here anyway. i'm finally making better cuts :o just made some cuts that bled throughout and eeeee
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girlfriend's depression

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i love my girlfriend, we've been together about six months and she's honestly the best, most interesting, intelligent person. but she really is emotionally a mess and i worry about her. she's had the hardest life imaginable, her mum was a heroin addict, she lived in massive poverty, she was sexually abused growing up. before i met her she tried to kill herself twice. she's on antidepressants which help her function but they don't make the symptoms go away. she's such a kind, beautiful person but she struggles so bad, i mean sometimes she's ok but sometimes she can barely motivate herself even to take a shower or clean her teeth for days at a time. i love her so much but it's kinda scary sometimes. i'm kind of her only friend and the only person she really trusts. she even says like i'm the only good thing that's ever happened to her. i know she wouldn't do anything like try to kill herself again but i worry about her all the same.
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knowing things i shouldnt be.

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i came to know that my mums having an affair,i saw nudes on her phone and pictures of mans private part,i didnt see it intentionally as in spying or anything. it just keeps bothering me.hes her boss and he came to our city today,i read some messages which said meting u was so intense ,i hope nobody noticed etc etc. i dont know if it should bother me,as its her life whatever she wants to do,but i feel betrayed? i'm not even close to her.shes in office most of the time,and the other time when shes at home,we dont talk more than a few sentences.i'm used to being alone by now. just this year,my grades started going down ,and i got depressed and all ,they just thought that i was making excuses for not studying.i have written many suicide notes till this day.i write it ,knowing that i wont be able to do it,but i still write it.in the end,i dont do anything.my father somehow found one of these letters and it gave me such a bad feeling.i just wanted to disappear.my father is always worried about things.and i felt so bad tht he read all that,i know he just got more stressed.he was already stressed out because my grades were going down.its not like i' close to him either.he makes me feel worse about myself.he tells to his friends in front of me,that how hes worried tht i'm so bad,or how he worries what will happen to me when i grow up,cause i'm such an introvert. i cant even talk to someone about this,cause i hv no idea how.all my life,i hv never been that close to anyone,and never have i talked about my emotions,so i hv problems talking about my emotions,i myself have no idea about what i feel. and now,i hv got anxiety ,which is just wow. just 6 months back,i was emotionally closed,i felt no fear of exams,i was just a blank person,i was neither excited nor nervous about giving exams or doing anything like that.but now all of a sudden,this school has changed me alot.i get all nauseous and anxious before the exams and am unable to study.i hv brought this all upon myself.i solely am responsible for this.knowing this,yet ,i choose to blame my parents.i just feel alone.
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i lost my mom this past april

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Mellow Striped Bee

hello, i lost my mom this past april. she was only 55. we were really close and she was my best friend. im definitely having a really hard time. i haven’t talked to a therapist or anything because i just haven’t been ready to i suppose. i have been having anxiety & panic attacks. i will be fine for a week or so and then have a complete breakdown and it’s like i start over from the beginning with grieving. it hurts so much. i finally was so desperate i googled online therapy or forums where you can vent and express yourself. this is the website i clicked on. it has been really rough..
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getting in trouble for things ive never done/did

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i live in a family of 7, with 4 other siblings. its really hard getting along cause im the quietest one and the 2 younger siblings (one is a baby, he doesnt count yet) are so damn annoying. i share a room with my older sister and we understand eachother more than our parents understand us, which is cool. our youngest sisters toys/stuffed animals are also in our room since we have no where to put them. our room is constantly a mess cause youngest sister (ys for short) always wants to “play” with them. because of this, me and os (older sister) keep getting in trouble for “not cleaning our room”, or “not keeping our room clean”. ys is always blaming shit on us and yb (younger brother, srry if its confusing). if shes mad, and hits you, she’ll start crying and yells that we hit her. then we’d get in trouble, or she’ll be told to cut her crap. recently os and my mom were watching a movie and one of our cats was messing with the tv, so our mom told me to come get her and put her in our room. no problem, took her upstairs and closed the doors. about an hour passed and ys came knocking in our door. i told her not know (btw shes a 4 year old with a dramatic sassy 16 year old teen inside her) but she comes over to the sliding door and opens it, allowing for catto to escape. i was pissed cause i didnt want her messing with the movie again so i told ys to get out. she clung to os’s bed and stayed there while i tried to pry her off, and she started crying. i was getting even more pissed cause i forgot to pause the video i was watching and was getting well away from where i last went off. she pointing to one of her toys so i gave it to her and told her to get out. she said she “was scared”, which is always a lie cause wtf is there to be afraid of? a dark bathroom? (btw our room connects to a bathroom through a sliding door) i turned on the light and told her to get out, but she wouldnt. about 2 minutes passed and i was extremely pissed, and my mom yelled at her from downstairs to get out, and so slowly she did. she was closing the bathroom door so i put my hand lightly on the knob to make sure she closes it all the way, its instinct, and supposedly “closed it on her toe”. i never felt anything block the door, not her foot, her toe, anything. it was bullshit. she started crying like she was dying and my sister came up to see what was going on. i told her she closed it on her toe, but i guess she didnt hear cause of ys’s screeching and my mom yelled at me to get down. she told to stop messing/bullying my younger siblings, stop being mean, etc, or else i would get my stuff taken away. i went upstairs crying and went to my room. im just tired of her bullshit. shes (ys) always accusing me of shit she did, which i hate. she always wants what i have, even if it isnt hers, and most of the time shell get it, “cause shes only four”. i had gemstones and lego sets and other items ive collected for 2+ years that she would mess with (without my permission) and eventually loose. good news is that i found most of my gemstones, one sadly broke in half. my mom would always say after i went to her basically sobbing that “she was only four, what do you expect? you never used them”. ys even colored on my school project i planned for about a week with several copic markers, leaving the caps off. i would hide my stuff in places she couldnt find or reach but she would always get to them. me, yb (younger brother), and ys would fight a lot, but most of the time its ys telling us to “get out” (of our room, tf) “move”, or just hit us for no reason. we would just get her back. whenever my siblings fight, its always them starting it, not me. why should i be the one getting in trouble for shit they did, and i had no part of? im tired of their bullshit
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lesbian issues

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

thanks in advance for helping me. i am in high school and want a girlfriend quite badly. problem is i can't seem to find anyone who is single and not straight (and interested). my school isnt super socially liberal overall, but there still exists a handful of other people just like me, but in couples. anyways, i am tired of being the single nerd here when i have so much love in my heart to give, and i would like advice to change that. any help will make me so grateful.
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i think my classmate knows i cut

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡4 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

ok so um ik i already did a "i think i look up to cutting" one but it was kinda hard not to cut even tho there was a good suggestion. anyways, so i used to only cut my legs, but i recently started cutting my arms. my classmate noticed and he seemd like he believed my excuse, but idk if he really did. he seems like a nice person but i'm afraid he's gonna like tell his friends. one of his friends is my main source of happiness so im just worried they're gonna distance themselves away from me now.
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hawk

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i like pretending im a hawk and flying around my house when no one is home. i also pretend to lay an egg. is this ok?
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suicide

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i think i’m going to kill myself on new years. i needed someone.
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wife had affair i am devastated

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

my wife had an another affair, decided to leave me for him (didnt tell me) then the other man said no to her asked ng him when he was going to leave his wife. she is in love with him. i know it was just a silly casual fling for him but she thinks it was real. our marriage is destroyed. im still in love with her and im devastated. desperately trying to rebuild but if i could just step back i would see that she is not a good person, conceited and not trustable. what a mess. my friends tell me to leave. i cant believe im in love with with this horrible person but i am. i dont even have the energy to ask a question here.
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i think i look up to cutting

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡4 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

so basically for a few months now, i've been feeling really down because of various reasons that i won't say rn. so i tried cutting a few days ago and i can't stop. it's not a full cut with lots of blood, but still cuts i guess? every time i think about how i'll do better at cutting the next time as well. it also isn't helping that it's christmas break, because my main source of happiness just happens to be someone at my school. so yaaaaay! ok someone help me i guess
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life

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i have this feeling that my boyfriend is cheating on me. he won't let me see his phone but will go through mine, when i am gone or asleep. i don't know what to say or do, i feel like if i say something i will screw up like i always have. what should i do?
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fetish?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Soothing Marbled Goshawk

i am slightly distressed.. since a lot of years i have this fetish of masturbating thinking of women in oiled hair. by that , i don't mean greasy. but oiled and plaited hair. i looked through the internet, but never found something similar to this
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sexuality

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i think i am confused about what my true sexual orientation might be
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i always feel guilty

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

so just a short summary; i was put into homeschooling cause my mom was afraid i was being bullied. i never do my social studies and science, a little math and some english (dont blame me that the material is so damn boring) and i have nothing to show my teacher. starting tomorrow my mom wants me to scan and send all my work to her and im always feeling guilty, stressed, afraid, etc. i just need advice on how to stay focused and someone i can trust to vent to
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confused ?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i am a straight married man, but i always feel strong desire to wear women's thongs / g strings and tights and i feel totally comfortable in them, i am sure many women also feel same wearing thongs, that's why they are so popular and expensive. however i am just confused is it wrong to have such desires and i am not a gay. i never had any feelings towards men. i just feel when women wears tight jeans and tiny shorts, they look good and no one judges them, which is good. i am not against that. but men wearing tights and nice panties considered as taboo or strange ?
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my mom started dating

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i used to do everything with my mother. it was always her and i, and sometimes my bipolar father would come and visit. last year my parents got a divorce, and now my mother has started to date. now that she started doing this, it makes me feel very depressed and alone. i've stopped enjoying hanging out with my friends ( it was right before my mom started going out ) i spend my weekends hidden away in my bedroom (along with my cat :o) i don't even leave my room a lot. i and my mother are very close and now i just feel distant from her. every weekend we go to stores and stuff like that and now she goes out and leaves me until 12:30 at night. now he starts coming to my house where i accidentally walk in on them. she said would only go out like once a week, but now its become often. my mom says she doesn't want to force him and i's relationship, but i feel like its being forced because shes bribing me to talk to him, shes gave me 200$ and is now starting to bribe me with something i've wanted for a long time, a bird. when ever i confront her about it, she guilts me saying "why don't you want me to be happy? don't i deserve to be happy?" which makes me feel very selfish she also says " your getting older and soon you'll want to go out with your friends" but i'm not even in highschool yet, and i struggle with social anxiety hence, i don't have many friends, which makes me feel unwanted and useless. another thing she says is that " he is very nice can be like a father to you" but i don't want him to be, i just want things to go back the way it was. she often compares me to my father, it just makes me feel so small and a horrible person. im just feeling so alone right now and just want someone just to tell me i'm going to be okay. i want to run away from all my problems, but i cant because of im only 13. i just really wanted to share this because i'm a dire need to talk to someone and i cant tell the few friends that i have because what if they judge me and i don't want to be my friend. last time, i told my friend i just wanted things to go back to the way it was and she shamed me for feeling this way and continued to talk about how happy she for my mom. i know its selfish, that i want it to go back to the way it was.
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broken

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

my boyfriend had recently broken up with me saying that he just stressed and how he felt he just deeply cared for me but he felt that he just thought a relationship wasnt very good for him, when a girl told me otherwise i asked my friends to investigate,he said he just didnt want one no more. i plan to text him one more time and tell him hoe i feel before we act like strangers again. is this a good plan?
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cutting?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Deep Yellow Starling

i started cutting on 10/22/18. now its the end of the week and i have cut at least once every day now. i feel really lonely and i really want to die. cutting helps the pain go away.
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my mom makes me feel utterly useless because i earn little

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Super Colorful Turtle

my mom's retired and we both live off with my earnings (not big enough for luxurious things but sufficient to get by). there are times when i give her our monthly cash/addtl cash late cuz i'm so busy with work. now, i give her the cash. then she starts whining that she wasn't able to do this/buy that.. and that money nowadays can't buy much.. ugh fuck. this always happens, everytime she asks for extra cash or if i hand it a bit late. i don't wanna quit my job because it's gonna pay off great soon. but she just makes me feel soooo inadequate, always. idk what to do. i just wanna disappear so she can live on her own and not have someone to blame anymore.
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new and lonely

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Naturally Mahogany Pine

how can i connect with people?
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chat times have been removed

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍2 💡13 Big Boy Ben

it was a fun experiment, but due to user comments i've taken it offline. thanks for the feedback!
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big ny giants fan

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i really love the ny giants so much, anyone feel the same way? was barkely a good pick? i certainly think so
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i'm new here

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Deep Incandescent Nightingale

hello, how do i talk/listen to people?
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help

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i have been depressed since i was 8 i felt in happy with the way i look and i have a small medical problem and my family make fun of me for it and i just am always crying and i tryed selfharm and my family found out and instead of trying to help or talk to me and they did was yell and ground me and when i say i want to live with my dad they threat him
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how do you deal with obsession over what you write online or send people?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i always have trouble leaving comments on reddit or sending text messages because i keep going back to what people think if they read it all day. sometimes i just delete them because i don't think it's perfect. does anyone else have that problem? how do you deal with it?
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i wish this forum was more active

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i really like seeing the (small :) ) community here helping each other and sharing their experiences. i just wish there was more activity on this page! much love to everyone out there
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stress has resulted in bursts of anger?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i've always been "high stress" and can let my depression run away with it. lately, mostly with work, i've found myself punching walls or screaming in my car. i only ever feel the need to for a few minutes (sometimes complete with angry sobbing), and feel drained after. any advice on coping with what feels like pure rage? i'm generally very level headed and often referred to as kind and quiet.
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does anyone here lose sleep over their anxiety?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

the title says it all. i always have trouble getting to sleep and i toss and turn for hours sometimes and then wake up in the middle of the night anyway. im so tired all the time its really hard.
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it feels good to be depressed

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

this is really tough to explain but i have recovered a bit from my depression and i miss the feeling. like i really enjoy sitting around and stewing all woe is me and i like other people feeling concerned for me. its really embarrassing and i feel guilty about the whole thing because i know there are people out there that are legitimately depressed and don't have to "pretend" i guess. i don't know
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can't find friends

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

17, i don't even know how to meet people, i've looked at clubs and everything but nothing is near me. if i go to a mall or something it would just be me sitting alone at a mall, what do i do?
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anyone else freak out when people take a long time to respond to messages?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i check my snap messages constantly and then if people read them and dont reply im like "did i say something wrong?" sometimes even emails to people ill keep opening and closing my phone. do other people do that too??
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stupid question, whats a good time to go to the gym

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i've been trying to work out to deal with my depression and i really want to get on a treadmill. im really worried about looking stupid at the gym though and like i don't know what im doing
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i highly recommend weighted blankets to everyone with anxiety. so good!

💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

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i have no friends

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

hi.. i have no friends... my 21st birthday is coming soon - i wish i could do something with friends, but i have none. i am so socially anxious, i hate it i hate it i hate it... 21 years old, 25, 30... and... i am afraid. that i will be alone. forever. i hope every one of you is having a nice day♡
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i have gone three weeks without self harm

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i have struggled with it a lot.. it has been tough. im on new medication now and its really helping. im actually feeling hopeful for the future and that i will start feeling better. also thanks to nifty green rose for listening to me today :)
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i'm confused

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Merry Olive Starling

can anyone tell me if i'm simply angry or that i am covering up my real emotions. i get easily irritated and want to kill myself or to suddenly just disappear from the place i live in because of things happening in my home but then after awhile, when i lose all thoughts about it.. its like nothing happened. but i know what i felt and i know that it is gone.. although i really want to vent it out.. i don't.. maybe i can't
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has depression ever fucked up your schooling or career?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i've never been a very high achiever, but i really tried hard when i got into uni. my grades were actually better than a lot of people's for my first semester. then i just caught this deep depression out of nowhere and i went spiraling down until i couldn't get out of bed. i feel better now that it's summer, but my gpa for my first year is now terrible and it would take crazy amounts of work to recover to where i want to be.
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does anyone here ever fantasize about simple compassion?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i mean when i lay in bed i go an hug a pillow kind of affection. some people have sexual fantasies, for me it's just having someone who cares.
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the mandatory lowercase letters is a nice change of pace

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

thank you to the creator of this site. it's surprisingly therapeutic.
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my ocd has been acting up and ive noticed ive been pulling my hair more than usual

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

does anyone else do this? its pretty compulsive and kind of takes my mind off my anxiety. im worried it'll result in hair loss if i do it too much.
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i have bad social anxiety and have to print something from the library at my school. what is the best way to do this?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

sorry if this is a stupid question. but its hard for me to deal with people/places i haven't been in before. this is my first time on campus and i don't want to seem awkward in front of everyone
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im going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i dont know what im going to do. i still love her so much. she has had problems since the beginning but now she refuses to see her doctor and she is getting harder and harder to deal with her mood swings. its so hard and i dont know how im going to deal with it.
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how to know if you're ugly

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i really can't tell. what are good ways of knowing
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im new here but i need help with my parents

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍3 💡2 Friendly Violet Woodpecker

i went through some trouble a few years ago and i kind of internalized some sort of resentment towards my parents. it was father's day yesterday and i didn't even call home and i feel awful about it.
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i literally play league all day. i never go out and i feel like a fat slob

💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

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i feel like crap all the time and i don't know why

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

nothing happened to me it's just been getting worse and worse. i don't know what to do

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