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0 💡

father’s gf mess

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i just went off on my dad’s gf cause she call herself trying to pick me up from school when it’s not her job to that she’s not on the pickup list. i don’t care how mad she got and same for my father i didnt care neither because not do i not get along with my sisters also don’t get along with her neither
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cant believe what he just did

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i ready to go off on my husband this man had the audacity to install a tracking device in my phone. i’m asking him what the hell for. if anything i should asking what the hell are you doing that you don’t want me to know
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what shud my stand be?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡3 Quirky Young Lilac

so i posted before, my ex-on/off suddenly started avoiding me 2 weeks back and last week blocked me on whatsapp after i asked an explanation. he unblocked me 5 days later. in the meanwhile i didnt contact him via any other means. today he says he is sorry for acting like a psycho. my q is how do i react. i said ok.. he didnt reply back? shud i give him a taste of his own medicine? if im rude i will push him away. if i act as if nothing happened, he will take me for granted and again accuse me of being clingy. so what do i do?
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continue to dwell or learn from it

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i still having a feeling of guilt for cheating on my drivers ed test however it was certain questions i had the most difficulty on.even though i passed it still makes me wonder should i go back and tell the dmv what i did or let it go, i cant what i did i wish could but i can’t
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what am i doing wrong?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡3 Quirky Young Lilac

so literally in the last say 4 years i have had like 5-6 break ups. someof them not serious, a couple of them serious. and im not saying i dont make any mistakes but the breakups werent even cos of me fighting the reasons were- ex came back, still likes the ex, was cheating on me, ex threatened me- i dont want anyone etc. everyone makes mistakes in a relationship, and i have seen more controlling domineering and obnoxious ppl have stable relationships.. then y doesnt anyone choose me. why does everyone just scarper at the first opportunity, though they will be swearing eternal love like literally one night before. im tired, my self esteem is in tatters. it hurts to rise up broken, try to mend my heart and get it broken again. im in despair. im on meds fr depression too. please help.last breakup was so bad i went into acute attack, lost weight in like 15 days had continuous anxiety and tears. im so scared im not worthy of being loved and im a failure and ill die alone. i feel i cant go on
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should or should not

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

dont know what to do at this point my former ex boyfriend is wanting to get back with me but i’m not sure about it. i just feel like he’s got something up his sleeve of why he’s desperate of wanting another chance, i believe there’s a lot more as to why he wants to talk with me after what he’s put me through don’t know
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can this relationship be healed??

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡3 Quirky Young Lilac

so i was dating this guy for 2-3 months.. we were both attracted to each other and he seemed to want to make it more serious. i was older he didnt mind. everything was good when one night his ex came and threatened suicide and pregnancy. i happened to be in the vicinity and he saw me cry. but i dint interfere between them. he told me he wants to breaak up and not date anyone. however after that incident, his ex moved on and he kept in touch with me. (she wasnt pregnant). he kept hanging out with me wen i asked and half the time on his own. i was working towards being a very good friend and then see what happens. once when i was out of town he constantly texted me etc. till last month he said i was his favorite person after his bff. suddenlt since this month(he has gotten busy and is in the last year of his degree), he kind of avoids me,citing he is busy but gos hanging out with others.. even a junior girl. he said he is irritated since i ask to meet him thrice a week.. when i checked i used to just check up and text him about his day and never ask to meet.this went on for 2 weeks.. and i texted him to ask whats going on and why he avoids me like the plague. cos till last month he used to send friendly texts about his day and now he doesnt text at all. he said he is working, he doesnt want to make the effort and im clingy and blocked me on whatsapp. i respected that and didnt call or sms. what i dont understand is till 2 weeks earlier im his close friend and now he acts like im a psycho stalker? i never made my attraction to him too obvious, rather he only used to make it obvious in front of his peers. i havent gone or made a scene or kept calling him or anything. it really hurts me.i just text routinely like i used to before and he got irritated with that too. i dunno whats going on.. and why over 1-2 weeks he disregarded my friendship too. one week he hasnt unblocked me and i havent contacted him. how do i react?
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troubling marriage

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

marriage sometimes is not always easy to deal with especially if you have a husband like mines who is controlling and very domineering. i feel like i can only blame myself for allowing him to take over it’s getting to the point where i’m done however i’m on the edge of filing for divorce just don’t know how much time i can hang on for
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cheat relationship

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

what makes people think that beautiful women don’t get cheated on in relationships when they only think that descent women are usually the ones that get it the most?
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brutal comments

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

when you dance with death it comes to you. i don't cry when people die. i just understand dat if you don't wanna die stay out da way and don't do sh-t to get you killed early in your life. we all gon die one day i just hope da reason is for sum i stood for.
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happy vent! :0

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

alright so shdsfdfsfdfsfdfsfds i'm currently like recovering from self harm and it's been like a month or like 3 and a half weeks since i last cut!!! there was also this part of recovery that i like to call 'emotional numbness' because it's not really an emotion. it's like a lack of emotion. i hated getting it- which led to me wanting to be sad again- but i'm doing a lot better! that emotion-thingy is a lot less frequent and i relly less on things online to keep me happy! speaking of which, i'm getting more happy recently (and not for the wrong reasons)! i'm super proud that i can finally accept the fact that what i did was unhealthy. i never accepted that before. i'm so glad websites like these could help me whenever i didn't want to speak to real people. thank you to anybody who ever left a comment on my insights. each one of you were very kind and helpful. and to anyone who is starting recovery, you can do it. it has it's downsides, but once you start really recovering, you'll be very happy. i know i sure am. <3
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problem with communication

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

hi! i have some problems to communicate with others, mostly when using app like whatsapp, facebook messenger, etc. when i using them, i feel like i being kind of cold or don't really demonstrating what i really feel, so i kind of feel bad about using them, principally whan talking with someone i'm not very familiar or when asking a favor (not sure if it's the way i write the messages or that because i don't use emojis, i don't like them). sorry for who is reading this, i kind of beated around the bush, but let's talk about the problem. this year, i'm trying to participate in a scholarship, but i need a recomendation letter, so i asked to a teacher and she gave me a positive response. last year i had asked, so i asked again, thinking it was easier to her, because she already had an idea about the letter. since then, passed almost two weeks and i didn't received any sign about the letter, so thinking she perhaps forgot about it, in a weekend i wrote a message, something like: "hi, how is the letter?". after sending it, i kind of regreted about how i wrote it (don't know why, but every time i send a message to her, i feel like i need to rewrite it again), but i received a sign that she read the message and didn't answer it. already passed one day since this happened and i don't know what to do. i feel like i need to apologize about the way i wrote the message, because i feeling really bad and sad about it. was i wrong about sending the message, is she angry about it, or is she so busy to talk about it? i really apreciate anyone responding it thank you very much
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child support

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

is it selfish for single mothers not to have their children’s father on child support. some mothers have them paying while other moms don’t want to or feel the need to put them on it
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going too far

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i wanna fuckin kick my cousin’s ass for posting personal information about my sister’s miscarriage on social media. i when off the wall why would you even post something like that when she’s grieving.
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psychologist vs therapist

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

whats the difference between a psychologist and a therapist
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to say or not to say

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

they always say things are better left unsaid oh definitely yes but other times you want to know what was said so you can defuse the issue !
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thank you guys

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i did it guys i finally passed in my exams. i did it. i'm so happy, thank you all thank you for everything thank you for being with me all this time thank you for keeping me motivated i'm really thankful to all of you i was in really depressed state if it weren't for you i couldn't have made it through. i almost lost everything friends family everything after failing i had no idea how to go on where to start but it's over now. thank you guys thank you so much
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criticism

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

as a mom of two daughters who the fuck are you to tell i should wear g-string or a thong on the beach with my young daughters when i dont feel comfortable doing that, a lady on the beach came outta no where and told me why don’t you show your buttcheeks off i’m like excuse me seriously lady i dont know you and second of all don’t tell me what i should wear if you feel comfortable enough to show your naked ass kudos to you sister but not all moms are the same
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i miss being sad??

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

to anyone who knows about like all my other insights, i don't cut anymore. i have some school therapist thing too now i guess? but whenever i'm just sitting at my pc with nothing to do i just miss going on tumblr and looking at thinspo and other people's cuts. i miss relating to angsty fanfictions and i miss the want to cut. i don't get it. i lost the want to all of that two or three days before i started therapy and i've only felt the cutting one once or twice. i miss being sad. i don't get it. this isn't even for attention too, i miss it because of how it feels kind of?? idk but i wish i didn't miss it.
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sugarbaby vs escort

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

whats the difference between a sugarbaby and an escort
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should or shouldn’t dwell for cheating on dmv drivers ed quiz

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

ive been dealing with this for days now and a part of me wants to brush this off, but then it’s like i have to deal with what i did but making a stupid choice by using my cellphone when i was taking dmv drivers ed quiz. there were some questions i had the most difficult on other questions i had no issues with getting right my thoughts on this is should i just brush this off or should i deal with the stupid choice i’m not excusing myself for what i did
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drug abuse

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

is fentanyl detox worse than regular heroin detox
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guilty

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i just recently passed my drivers ed exam good in all, however i had difficulty with certain questions i seemed to have an issue with, wrong thing i did was searched through my cellphone for the answers even though i cheated on my exam with certain questions like said i had the most difficult on, while other questions i had no problem getting right what should i do go back or just live with what i did
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told my parents i'm having sex

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡3 Choice Glass Elk

i told my parents i'm having sex and they seemed okay with it, my family is decently open about sexual topics, but then i told my boyfriend that my parents know and he freaked out. he said "he's annoyed" and honestly i don't know what to tell him. i don't enjoy lying to my parents for extended periods of time and if i asked my boyfriend before hand whether i should tell them he would've said no and then i would've had to continue lying to them. how do i help him understand it's not that big of a deal and to not start a big argument over it?
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i have a voice but i can't talk. i don't know why

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Magical Blue Fish

i can't talk to people without freezing up and becoming a strutting mess even though i don't have a stutter. i even have the same problem with online chatting. i have a hard time putting my mind together when talking to someone so conversations with me are just awkward. though it's a little better when written down it takes me forever to put it down and check it over and over again until i feel it's right and even than i still hesitate to send it. my heart starts hammering away in my chest, i get cold, i feel short of breath, i start to get teary eyed. if i mess up in any way while talking to someone, whether or not it's a small not noticeable thing or not even my fault i feel like it is my fault. which leads to me just shutting myself in and berating myself. i've tried talking to someone before. different people 3 times. but it never lasts long, less than five visits and nothing gets done no matter how nice they are because of how i am when it comes to talking about anything personal related to me and i always feel like i'm taking a space for someone else who truly needs it way more than me. (though the last therapist i talk to prescribed me some sort of medicine though i don't remember what it was. ) even if it's about my day i still feel as though i'm saying something stupid and should shut up before i drive a person away. the only time i can make myself do something i would be to frighten to do is if i needed to help someone or if i'm irritated/ angry. (ex: if my friend needs something and is too afraid themselves to get it or if an innocent person is being picked on.) however, if i'm being picked on it has to go too far before i stand up for my self. ( going from embarrassed of the situation to angry) i'm sorry that this is so long. i just don't know what's wrong with me. i've talked about anxiety and other things with my mother but i've never been diagnosed with anything. i just want it to stop so that i can do the things i want to do with my life without having to prepare a speech before hand.
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life with grief (tw: abuse m, sui m)

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡5 Quirky Orchid Gazelle

hello there, i hope today's been kind to you ! to sum up, i lost my best friend and my only irl friend to suicide last summer, and this is just a vent about it, there's no need to read it, though, thank you so much for checking this out, and i hope the rest of your day will treat you well... <3 since i lost my best friend, i still blame myself for his suicide since we had a falling out, and he blamed himself, and had a hard time coping with everything on his own, although he was abusive, i don't blame him for what he did since he never really got to learn what a healthy relationship is. although it doesn't justify his actions or how unhealthy our friendship/relationship was, however i was still his only support despite him making me the only one to be his therapist in a sense, and he pressured me into saying yes to him repeatedly. i don't really care about his abuse or manipulation anymore now. i just miss him every day so much, no one can replace him and nothing can truly express what it feels like... his mother particularly was the worst in his treatment towards him and his sister and his home life wasn't the best, much like mine. although his father and sister were kinder to me, they did not really acknowledge how close we were, none of them did. he let me know i am his closest and dearest friend to him in the world, yet to his family, i felt more like a stranger and someone his mother always wanted me to be away from him due to her being unaccepting of other races/religions outside of her own... i just miss him so much and i wish things didn't turn out the way they did. i try my best to not blame myself though his mom still tries to manipulate me for answers to things she doesn't want to hear, and i wish they got him the help he needed, they neglected him there. and the last time i cried at home, my father put his hands on me and my mother just told me to "get over" his suicide... they're emotionally absent, so i have to cry away from home, so when i have to stay at home, it just really hurts since i can never express myself and only he understood how close we were, it really hits home when my parents just say get over his suicide without me even bringing it up... i just, i don't know, it just really hurts to still not be supported after all this time, my family acts like he never existed when he was and is the only friend i ever truly had irl and my best one, and none of my online friends know how to support me, especially since i can't express myself about this at home, so it hurts so bad, and now i'm too scared to get close to anyone else because of the trauma of losing him, i'm very grateful to have medicaid and access to therapy, though, it took me being put on a legal hold as a minor and a threat of cps to finally receive it, my best friend turned 18, so there was no repercussions to force his family to help him and that hurts my hearts... other than that, i don't know, i just needed someplace open to vent about this since i can't cry at home or get any support at all, when i try to support his family, his mother blames me and hurts me, and it hurts too much to talk to his sister, so just thank you to anyone who listened to this, it means a lot to me... <3
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psychopathic thoughts of violence

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡3 Choice Glass Elk

i don't plot out murders on specific people, i don't want to hurt anyone specifically. i enjoy thinking or extremely disturbing thoughts of violence though. is this okay? if not how to i fix it? i enjoy the thoughts of someone (anyone) being in deafening pain and seeing the the extent of a situation a person can handle (mentally and physically). i do not plan on actually doing this to someone non consensually. though, i think about it often.
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no direction in life

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i got no intrinsic motivation for anything in life. i've mostly been doing nothing for about 2 or 3 years now living in my parents' house. they never told me i needed to get a profession, never really got taken seriously i feel like. and i feel like i want to do something in my life. i'm 26 now and i've achieved nothing. i have no money and i can't move out. this environment is toxic. i want to do something that im passionate about but i got no intrinsic motivation. i've basically tried every bit of advice there is. i've tried new things (that i can try based on my budget), i've tried going to therapy, i've tried making friends, but... idk what to do with my life. i got no friends, my family sucks and i don't relate to them at all... i feel like i wanna do something but i feel stuck. please help before i decide to kill myself some day at random.
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this fucking hoe (tw selfharm)

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck this fucking dude in my class told everyone that i cut since he was the only person who wasn't dumb enough to believe my shitty excuse but come on dude this fucker just told everyone oh my god two of the people he's told so far don't believe it cause i brought up the excuse during the call (it had to do with my pc's desk) so they don't believe him but this'll get to the whole damn class holy shit i'm not ready for this
1 💡

asexuality?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

ive recently been looking into the topic and was thinking i kinda relate? im 16 and a girl and i feel romantic attraction (i want to hug and kiss someone) but i don’t have any interest in going further with those i crush on, nor do i find people ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’. i am interested in the idea of sex though, but i have never had it so i cannot differ from just curiosity or just a want to have it. idk guys, just looking for an outside opinion. thanks :)
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i lost my blade

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

ohjesusfuckingchrist it's not in my sweater pockets and if it's not there or on the floor that means it was either brushed away by my school's janitor or it's somewhere in my house oh fuck- i mean i can always replace it 'cause i got multiple sharpeners, but what if someone finds out about the blade at my home? i dont want that to happen oh fuck
1 💡

who watches anime

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i am watching too much anime i guess and now i started feeling like i was just using them as to escape from reality i literally watched 120 episodes continuously without leaving my room even once. i watched them locked myself inside my room away from the real world i've been doing this for past few months now i already finished a heck lot of them and still craving for them i've already disconnected from my friends family way too much and now when i think of it is just destroying my life but still don't stop even i've realised that what do i do i'm feeling helpless
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past haunting

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Terrific Paisley Mango

i'm married almost 3 years ago but there is not one day i can stop thinking about the past. my life before marriage was terrible went through break ups cheated and harassed and i'm worried if will it affect my future. i'm scared to do anything in life.the past has been haunting me both mentally and physically. i feel terrible i have a loving husband and he does know my past.
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special friend

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Zealous Floral Wallaby

hello, i am feeling very lonely and empty and sad. i am in university, and i used to have very closed friends but since i am doing a double major. i don’t see my friends that often anymore. and that makes me sad. beside that, i have this very close male friend. we had been very close which my best one, and i always enjoy his friendship. just 1 month ago he went to my dorm and something just happened. i started having feeling for him but he said that he doesn’t. he just want friendship. i am not sure of the feeling too. since then i am different. i feel very lonely and empty and keep thinking about him. but it’s been 2 month already. i don’t know that empty and sad feeling is because i don’t see my good friends that often anymore or it’s cause of that friend. at the same time i feel like maybe cause i was very close to him, i used to see him everyday, we studied together so that why i am missing him as a really good friend? and could someone please help me to see it more clear what cause my sadness, and what should i do to get out of them and being normal again? thanks a lot
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i have social anxiety and it's getting worse and worse by the hours

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡3 Simple Round Rose

it's been getting worse, to the point were i had a whole dispute in my head trying to even type this. i was in a crowed trying to get on the bus, and i started shaking hard. someone stopped me to ask if i was okay not knowing it would make things worse. i don't know how to handle it anymore
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oof just feeling down

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

oof ok so ima make this quick cause this has been botherring for like the whole day aha so i'm an athiest at t acatholic school cause i used to be catholic i just didn't believe in god for some time ( i havent told my parentscause there's a public school right enxt to my neighborhood and i like the school im in rn) and people found out so like everyday someone just starts arguing with me about god and shit and it's annoying as hell but anyways this guy who sat next to me (who sat next to my crush and was like friends with my crush who im also friends with) literally told me i'm like worthless and don't belong in the school and how the school would be better off without me and uhhhhhh i cut a bit but it's been on my mind alot uwu sorry if there are any typos i rushed this aha
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i kind of feel like a waste of energy

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Playful Scarlet Hummingbird

ive been very stressed lately, and it’s been so hard to feel good about myself. my parents are always complaining about how much i cost to “keep around” and with college coming up they seem less than thrilled to help pay, which would be okay if school didn’t prevent me from having a job. at this point in time, i just feel like i’m worthless- a waste of space that no one really should care about because i just use up time and resources, and i don’t have opportunities to fix the problems i’m seeing- which just leads me to feel like a failure. i dunno, i might just be stressed though
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is it ok to talk to yourself?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i talk to myself almost everytime i don't know why i do that it's kind of fun to me and i like talking to myself it's like i have another me inside me is it ok to talk to myself or is it not? do anyone else also talk to themselves?
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regular visitor

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

who else visit mellow talk regularly like me
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you know what

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

everything is a blur nothings clear don't know where i am standing don't know where to go and paths are blocked nothings helping this is too much for me no one cares i don't care anymore last resort is over nothing can be done i am doomed so all the past things comes out like this haven't imagined this will happen why i am even writing this makes no sense what am i doing with my life where i am who i am what's happening don't know who are you don't know why don't know what do you know don't know i don't know come out no i will not you're ok no i m not everything will be not it isn't don't worry you'll be just fine hope so
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please help

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i failed in my exams i don't know what to do now i am really frustrated i don't know even how to get out of this mess i am literally devastated no one like me now i am becoming a burden to all of them no one cares no one listens i can't focus i can't stand up i failed i failed in everything i had nothing left it's horrible in here i don't know i can even survive now please help please
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i love cutting, and i'm getting better

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

for me, this is a happy vent, but to a lot of people it's not, but i'll put this here anyway. i'm finally making better cuts :o just made some cuts that bled throughout and eeeee
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girlfriend's depression

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i love my girlfriend, we've been together about six months and she's honestly the best, most interesting, intelligent person. but she really is emotionally a mess and i worry about her. she's had the hardest life imaginable, her mum was a heroin addict, she lived in massive poverty, she was sexually abused growing up. before i met her she tried to kill herself twice. she's on antidepressants which help her function but they don't make the symptoms go away. she's such a kind, beautiful person but she struggles so bad, i mean sometimes she's ok but sometimes she can barely motivate herself even to take a shower or clean her teeth for days at a time. i love her so much but it's kinda scary sometimes. i'm kind of her only friend and the only person she really trusts. she even says like i'm the only good thing that's ever happened to her. i know she wouldn't do anything like try to kill herself again but i worry about her all the same.
2 💡

knowing things i shouldnt be.

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i came to know that my mums having an affair,i saw nudes on her phone and pictures of mans private part,i didnt see it intentionally as in spying or anything. it just keeps bothering me.hes her boss and he came to our city today,i read some messages which said meting u was so intense ,i hope nobody noticed etc etc. i dont know if it should bother me,as its her life whatever she wants to do,but i feel betrayed? i'm not even close to her.shes in office most of the time,and the other time when shes at home,we dont talk more than a few sentences.i'm used to being alone by now. just this year,my grades started going down ,and i got depressed and all ,they just thought that i was making excuses for not studying.i have written many suicide notes till this day.i write it ,knowing that i wont be able to do it,but i still write it.in the end,i dont do anything.my father somehow found one of these letters and it gave me such a bad feeling.i just wanted to disappear.my father is always worried about things.and i felt so bad tht he read all that,i know he just got more stressed.he was already stressed out because my grades were going down.its not like i' close to him either.he makes me feel worse about myself.he tells to his friends in front of me,that how hes worried tht i'm so bad,or how he worries what will happen to me when i grow up,cause i'm such an introvert. i cant even talk to someone about this,cause i hv no idea how.all my life,i hv never been that close to anyone,and never have i talked about my emotions,so i hv problems talking about my emotions,i myself have no idea about what i feel. and now,i hv got anxiety ,which is just wow. just 6 months back,i was emotionally closed,i felt no fear of exams,i was just a blank person,i was neither excited nor nervous about giving exams or doing anything like that.but now all of a sudden,this school has changed me alot.i get all nauseous and anxious before the exams and am unable to study.i hv brought this all upon myself.i solely am responsible for this.knowing this,yet ,i choose to blame my parents.i just feel alone.
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i lost my mom this past april

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Mellow Striped Bee

hello, i lost my mom this past april. she was only 55. we were really close and she was my best friend. im definitely having a really hard time. i haven’t talked to a therapist or anything because i just haven’t been ready to i suppose. i have been having anxiety & panic attacks. i will be fine for a week or so and then have a complete breakdown and it’s like i start over from the beginning with grieving. it hurts so much. i finally was so desperate i googled online therapy or forums where you can vent and express yourself. this is the website i clicked on. it has been really rough..
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getting in trouble for things ive never done/did

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i live in a family of 7, with 4 other siblings. its really hard getting along cause im the quietest one and the 2 younger siblings (one is a baby, he doesnt count yet) are so damn annoying. i share a room with my older sister and we understand eachother more than our parents understand us, which is cool. our youngest sisters toys/stuffed animals are also in our room since we have no where to put them. our room is constantly a mess cause youngest sister (ys for short) always wants to “play” with them. because of this, me and os (older sister) keep getting in trouble for “not cleaning our room”, or “not keeping our room clean”. ys is always blaming shit on us and yb (younger brother, srry if its confusing). if shes mad, and hits you, she’ll start crying and yells that we hit her. then we’d get in trouble, or she’ll be told to cut her crap. recently os and my mom were watching a movie and one of our cats was messing with the tv, so our mom told me to come get her and put her in our room. no problem, took her upstairs and closed the doors. about an hour passed and ys came knocking in our door. i told her not know (btw shes a 4 year old with a dramatic sassy 16 year old teen inside her) but she comes over to the sliding door and opens it, allowing for catto to escape. i was pissed cause i didnt want her messing with the movie again so i told ys to get out. she clung to os’s bed and stayed there while i tried to pry her off, and she started crying. i was getting even more pissed cause i forgot to pause the video i was watching and was getting well away from where i last went off. she pointing to one of her toys so i gave it to her and told her to get out. she said she “was scared”, which is always a lie cause wtf is there to be afraid of? a dark bathroom? (btw our room connects to a bathroom through a sliding door) i turned on the light and told her to get out, but she wouldnt. about 2 minutes passed and i was extremely pissed, and my mom yelled at her from downstairs to get out, and so slowly she did. she was closing the bathroom door so i put my hand lightly on the knob to make sure she closes it all the way, its instinct, and supposedly “closed it on her toe”. i never felt anything block the door, not her foot, her toe, anything. it was bullshit. she started crying like she was dying and my sister came up to see what was going on. i told her she closed it on her toe, but i guess she didnt hear cause of ys’s screeching and my mom yelled at me to get down. she told to stop messing/bullying my younger siblings, stop being mean, etc, or else i would get my stuff taken away. i went upstairs crying and went to my room. im just tired of her bullshit. shes (ys) always accusing me of shit she did, which i hate. she always wants what i have, even if it isnt hers, and most of the time shell get it, “cause shes only four”. i had gemstones and lego sets and other items ive collected for 2+ years that she would mess with (without my permission) and eventually loose. good news is that i found most of my gemstones, one sadly broke in half. my mom would always say after i went to her basically sobbing that “she was only four, what do you expect? you never used them”. ys even colored on my school project i planned for about a week with several copic markers, leaving the caps off. i would hide my stuff in places she couldnt find or reach but she would always get to them. me, yb (younger brother), and ys would fight a lot, but most of the time its ys telling us to “get out” (of our room, tf) “move”, or just hit us for no reason. we would just get her back. whenever my siblings fight, its always them starting it, not me. why should i be the one getting in trouble for shit they did, and i had no part of? im tired of their bullshit
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lesbian issues

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

thanks in advance for helping me. i am in high school and want a girlfriend quite badly. problem is i can't seem to find anyone who is single and not straight (and interested). my school isnt super socially liberal overall, but there still exists a handful of other people just like me, but in couples. anyways, i am tired of being the single nerd here when i have so much love in my heart to give, and i would like advice to change that. any help will make me so grateful.
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i think my classmate knows i cut

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

ok so um ik i already did a "i think i look up to cutting" one but it was kinda hard not to cut even tho there was a good suggestion. anyways, so i used to only cut my legs, but i recently started cutting my arms. my classmate noticed and he seemd like he believed my excuse, but idk if he really did. he seems like a nice person but i'm afraid he's gonna like tell his friends. one of his friends is my main source of happiness so im just worried they're gonna distance themselves away from me now.
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hawk

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i like pretending im a hawk and flying around my house when no one is home. i also pretend to lay an egg. is this ok?
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suicide

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i think i’m going to kill myself on new years. i needed someone.
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wife had affair i am devastated

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

my wife had an another affair, decided to leave me for him (didnt tell me) then the other man said no to her asked ng him when he was going to leave his wife. she is in love with him. i know it was just a silly casual fling for him but she thinks it was real. our marriage is destroyed. im still in love with her and im devastated. desperately trying to rebuild but if i could just step back i would see that she is not a good person, conceited and not trustable. what a mess. my friends tell me to leave. i cant believe im in love with with this horrible person but i am. i dont even have the energy to ask a question here.
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i think i look up to cutting

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍1 💡13 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey

so basically for a few months now, i've been feeling really down because of various reasons that i won't say rn. so i tried cutting a few days ago and i can't stop. it's not a full cut with lots of blood, but still cuts i guess? every time i think about how i'll do better at cutting the next time as well. it also isn't helping that it's christmas break, because my main source of happiness just happens to be someone at my school. so yaaaaay! ok someone help me i guess
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life

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i have this feeling that my boyfriend is cheating on me. he won't let me see his phone but will go through mine, when i am gone or asleep. i don't know what to say or do, i feel like if i say something i will screw up like i always have. what should i do?
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fetish?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Soothing Marbled Goshawk

i am slightly distressed.. since a lot of years i have this fetish of masturbating thinking of women in oiled hair. by that , i don't mean greasy. but oiled and plaited hair. i looked through the internet, but never found something similar to this
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sexuality

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i think i am confused about what my true sexual orientation might be
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i always feel guilty

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

so just a short summary; i was put into homeschooling cause my mom was afraid i was being bullied. i never do my social studies and science, a little math and some english (dont blame me that the material is so damn boring) and i have nothing to show my teacher. starting tomorrow my mom wants me to scan and send all my work to her and im always feeling guilty, stressed, afraid, etc. i just need advice on how to stay focused and someone i can trust to vent to
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confused ?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i am a straight married man, but i always feel strong desire to wear women's thongs / g strings and tights and i feel totally comfortable in them, i am sure many women also feel same wearing thongs, that's why they are so popular and expensive. however i am just confused is it wrong to have such desires and i am not a gay. i never had any feelings towards men. i just feel when women wears tight jeans and tiny shorts, they look good and no one judges them, which is good. i am not against that. but men wearing tights and nice panties considered as taboo or strange ?
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my mom started dating

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i used to do everything with my mother. it was always her and i, and sometimes my bipolar father would come and visit. last year my parents got a divorce, and now my mother has started to date. now that she started doing this, it makes me feel very depressed and alone. i've stopped enjoying hanging out with my friends ( it was right before my mom started going out ) i spend my weekends hidden away in my bedroom (along with my cat :o) i don't even leave my room a lot. i and my mother are very close and now i just feel distant from her. every weekend we go to stores and stuff like that and now she goes out and leaves me until 12:30 at night. now he starts coming to my house where i accidentally walk in on them. she said would only go out like once a week, but now its become often. my mom says she doesn't want to force him and i's relationship, but i feel like its being forced because shes bribing me to talk to him, shes gave me 200$ and is now starting to bribe me with something i've wanted for a long time, a bird. when ever i confront her about it, she guilts me saying "why don't you want me to be happy? don't i deserve to be happy?" which makes me feel very selfish she also says " your getting older and soon you'll want to go out with your friends" but i'm not even in highschool yet, and i struggle with social anxiety hence, i don't have many friends, which makes me feel unwanted and useless. another thing she says is that " he is very nice can be like a father to you" but i don't want him to be, i just want things to go back the way it was. she often compares me to my father, it just makes me feel so small and a horrible person. im just feeling so alone right now and just want someone just to tell me i'm going to be okay. i want to run away from all my problems, but i cant because of im only 13. i just really wanted to share this because i'm a dire need to talk to someone and i cant tell the few friends that i have because what if they judge me and i don't want to be my friend. last time, i told my friend i just wanted things to go back to the way it was and she shamed me for feeling this way and continued to talk about how happy she for my mom. i know its selfish, that i want it to go back to the way it was.
1 💡

broken

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

my boyfriend had recently broken up with me saying that he just stressed and how he felt he just deeply cared for me but he felt that he just thought a relationship wasnt very good for him, when a girl told me otherwise i asked my friends to investigate,he said he just didnt want one no more. i plan to text him one more time and tell him hoe i feel before we act like strangers again. is this a good plan?
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cutting?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Deep Yellow Starling

i started cutting on 10/22/18. now its the end of the week and i have cut at least once every day now. i feel really lonely and i really want to die. cutting helps the pain go away.
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my mom makes me feel utterly useless because i earn little

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Super Colorful Turtle

my mom's retired and we both live off with my earnings (not big enough for luxurious things but sufficient to get by). there are times when i give her our monthly cash/addtl cash late cuz i'm so busy with work. now, i give her the cash. then she starts whining that she wasn't able to do this/buy that.. and that money nowadays can't buy much.. ugh fuck. this always happens, everytime she asks for extra cash or if i hand it a bit late. i don't wanna quit my job because it's gonna pay off great soon. but she just makes me feel soooo inadequate, always. idk what to do. i just wanna disappear so she can live on her own and not have someone to blame anymore.
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new and lonely

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Naturally Mahogany Pine

how can i connect with people?
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chat times have been removed

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍2 💡43 Big Boy Ben

it was a fun experiment, but due to user comments i've taken it offline. thanks for the feedback!
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big ny giants fan

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i really love the ny giants so much, anyone feel the same way? was barkely a good pick? i certainly think so
2 💡

i'm new here

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Deep Incandescent Nightingale

hello, how do i talk/listen to people?
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help

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i have been depressed since i was 8 i felt in happy with the way i look and i have a small medical problem and my family make fun of me for it and i just am always crying and i tryed selfharm and my family found out and instead of trying to help or talk to me and they did was yell and ground me and when i say i want to live with my dad they threat him
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how do you deal with obsession over what you write online or send people?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i always have trouble leaving comments on reddit or sending text messages because i keep going back to what people think if they read it all day. sometimes i just delete them because i don't think it's perfect. does anyone else have that problem? how do you deal with it?
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i wish this forum was more active

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i really like seeing the (small :) ) community here helping each other and sharing their experiences. i just wish there was more activity on this page! much love to everyone out there
1 💡

stress has resulted in bursts of anger?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i've always been "high stress" and can let my depression run away with it. lately, mostly with work, i've found myself punching walls or screaming in my car. i only ever feel the need to for a few minutes (sometimes complete with angry sobbing), and feel drained after. any advice on coping with what feels like pure rage? i'm generally very level headed and often referred to as kind and quiet.
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does anyone here lose sleep over their anxiety?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

the title says it all. i always have trouble getting to sleep and i toss and turn for hours sometimes and then wake up in the middle of the night anyway. im so tired all the time its really hard.
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it feels good to be depressed

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

this is really tough to explain but i have recovered a bit from my depression and i miss the feeling. like i really enjoy sitting around and stewing all woe is me and i like other people feeling concerned for me. its really embarrassing and i feel guilty about the whole thing because i know there are people out there that are legitimately depressed and don't have to "pretend" i guess. i don't know
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can't find friends

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

17, i don't even know how to meet people, i've looked at clubs and everything but nothing is near me. if i go to a mall or something it would just be me sitting alone at a mall, what do i do?
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anyone else freak out when people take a long time to respond to messages?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i check my snap messages constantly and then if people read them and dont reply im like "did i say something wrong?" sometimes even emails to people ill keep opening and closing my phone. do other people do that too??
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stupid question, whats a good time to go to the gym

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i've been trying to work out to deal with my depression and i really want to get on a treadmill. im really worried about looking stupid at the gym though and like i don't know what im doing
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i highly recommend weighted blankets to everyone with anxiety. so good!

💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

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i have no friends

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

hi.. i have no friends... my 21st birthday is coming soon - i wish i could do something with friends, but i have none. i am so socially anxious, i hate it i hate it i hate it... 21 years old, 25, 30... and... i am afraid. that i will be alone. forever. i hope every one of you is having a nice day♡
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i have gone three weeks without self harm

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i have struggled with it a lot.. it has been tough. im on new medication now and its really helping. im actually feeling hopeful for the future and that i will start feeling better. also thanks to nifty green rose for listening to me today :)
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i'm confused

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 💡1 Merry Olive Starling

can anyone tell me if i'm simply angry or that i am covering up my real emotions. i get easily irritated and want to kill myself or to suddenly just disappear from the place i live in because of things happening in my home but then after awhile, when i lose all thoughts about it.. its like nothing happened. but i know what i felt and i know that it is gone.. although i really want to vent it out.. i don't.. maybe i can't
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has depression ever fucked up your schooling or career?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i've never been a very high achiever, but i really tried hard when i got into uni. my grades were actually better than a lot of people's for my first semester. then i just caught this deep depression out of nowhere and i went spiraling down until i couldn't get out of bed. i feel better now that it's summer, but my gpa for my first year is now terrible and it would take crazy amounts of work to recover to where i want to be.
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does anyone here ever fantasize about simple compassion?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i mean when i lay in bed i go an hug a pillow kind of affection. some people have sexual fantasies, for me it's just having someone who cares.
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the mandatory lowercase letters is a nice change of pace

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

thank you to the creator of this site. it's surprisingly therapeutic.
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my ocd has been acting up and ive noticed ive been pulling my hair more than usual

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

does anyone else do this? its pretty compulsive and kind of takes my mind off my anxiety. im worried it'll result in hair loss if i do it too much.
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i have bad social anxiety and have to print something from the library at my school. what is the best way to do this?

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

sorry if this is a stupid question. but its hard for me to deal with people/places i haven't been in before. this is my first time on campus and i don't want to seem awkward in front of everyone
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im going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i dont know what im going to do. i still love her so much. she has had problems since the beginning but now she refuses to see her doctor and she is getting harder and harder to deal with her mood swings. its so hard and i dont know how im going to deal with it.
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how to know if you're ugly

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

i really can't tell. what are good ways of knowing
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im new here but i need help with my parents

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● 👍3 💡2 Friendly Violet Woodpecker

i went through some trouble a few years ago and i kind of internalized some sort of resentment towards my parents. it was father's day yesterday and i didn't even call home and i feel awful about it.
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i literally play league all day. i never go out and i feel like a fat slob

💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

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i feel like crap all the time and i don't know why

details 💬︎ reply 💎︎ ● Anonymous

nothing happened to me it's just been getting worse and worse. i don't know what to do

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