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hello, previously i asked for help and thus far the kind words have been super encouraging so i would like to say thank you to those that gave me feed back and took the time of day to write me, i also have new tea! so, recently my babies dad has been in contact with me,her bday was coming up so he called to ask if i needed anything bc of the covid situation i said no, however insisted in trying, of course nothing but false promises thus far, i told him i would give him the opportunity to try tho, he invited me over and i went seeking closure, he told me tht he was having issues w the 3rd bm (the one he cheated on me with) and was trying to get sexual, obviously it didnt work and i could tell he was quite embarresed, however i am feeling stuck alllll over again, i feltas if that chapter was closed, but he opened it again, he was telling me that he just always has a part of me with him, and that he always thinks of me, tht he feels like hes sometimes forced to be with the 3rd bm since she has always threatend to call the police on him if he doesnt stay with her, im curious to see ur insight on things, do u guys think hes being serious or tht he only see's me as a second choice? i feel as if he thinks i am tht obsessed, which obvi i am still hurting over him idk he plays with my head so much idk what to do

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hello all, im sort of stuck living in my anxious ways and avoiding life a lot sometimes i cant trust other's advice yet i also dont trust my own senses. i cant seem to make decision for myself on what to do and feel determined in them. im very evasive and avoid doing things i cant sense or think of what sort of future or outcomes i want all i see and feel is my own sense of smallness and incompetence. i am being very passive and unable to make myself venture out i often dont take on people /counsellors suggestions because underlying i have anxiety and a sense of hopelessness about things , so though i may appear to be saying yes but deep down i cant action it what can i do to trust my own choices and believe in myself more ? i feel like im not a person, just a bunch of nerves i dont know how i can continue to live like this in the future. its like im not fully a person i fear seeing my extended family in weddings because theyll realise i am nowhere in my life and so shaky . i wish i felt stronger as a person but i feel weak , hiding away all the time some advice would be appreciated on how to deal with the anxiety , how to over come it.. how i can be a stronger person thank you

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hello its been some time now that i have been struggling , dragging myself and failing in my studies. ive finished it now with a lot of help from my sister. i just feel like a very incapable person and not very well adjusted to life. i seem to have lost the will to care about myself my health . i cant see i bigger picture or have any enthusiasm for being healthy i literally dont care about myself anymore , i dont know why i dont feel confident or want to take any direction inlife . there is anxiety and avoidance holding me back too please , any suggestions on how i can find the will to move forward and start caring about things again? i just want to hide away in life, but i feel like it keeps me as a regressive person and soon it will become obvious to others that i am like that. i fear the shame that will come as i get even older and further regressed but at the same time i really dont want to move. i dont want to face life, yet being in a daze , foggy feels like it is unhealthy especially with the way that i am feeling uncaring

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hello, everyone! as you must know, the world's, right now, under a pandemic situation. i'm encouraging you to follow the directions we were all given internationally, as i'm encouraging you to obey your countries' decisions. however, with those recommendations, some periods of isolation and quarantine may lay ahead. if you feel your mental health could be in harms ways, please reach out to someone: your friends, your family, a therapist, an organization - without breaking the social distancing! there's always someone on mellowtalk who's ready to listen, even if it takes a little time for you to get an answer. i'm also sharing a link with an article you can find useful: https://www.bbc.com/news/health-51873799 these are going to be tough times, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. until then, stay strong, stay safe!

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if you need someone to listen, i'm here!

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there is a troll i keep getting when i come in as a listener. since their name changes every time, it's impossible to say who they are. when they get me, they're swearing and unpleasant. is there anything i can do besides cut them off?

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i've been in a total dysfunctional marriage for 27 years. i've endured more psychological and emotional abuse than i'd like to admit. he told me that he wants a divorce, i think he's playing games. even if he's not, i've been so ready to be done. what's stopped me for so long has been my dependence on his income, our kids (2/3 are now grown), as well as just feeling so beat up inside. at this point, i have very few local friends or family so i feel very isolated, and i'm just not sure how to finally pick myself up and start in the direction of living my best life.

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so i basically had a one night stand,(had sex the first date) even tho we would tlk and got pregnant however i decided to keep the baby, at first the father was 100% pushing me to get a abortion but i refused, later on he came around and actually got very excited and we actually worked out on the relationship. after spending time with him i realized i did not want his baby, so i attempted to abort of course i wasnt able to go through with it at the end , but he would basically threaten me and beg me not to go through with it, he would say that he would call the police on me if i abort bc its his baby too& tht if i didnt want the bby to just give it to him tht he wants it , after all of this i was like wow maybe i can have my little family and decided to stay, we basically dated i guess u can say. and out of no where he told me, "oh btw, youre not the only girl i have pregnant theres someone before you" i broke down in tears i was so upset bc he had me thinking the whole time that i was the only one, despite everything i had the support of my family, and my mom was like "its ok everyone makes mistakes" so i pushed passed it. we stayed together and for what i thought everything was fine, but come to find out he had a whole side chick, this girl was crazy! and would lie about when they where together, she would call me and do the most and eve wished death on my baby, and basically he was cheating on me with this bitch the whole time, now he would beat this girl and she liked him so much that she would send pics of her marks and be like "if he doesnt come back im pressing charges" and i got so tired , of him asking if he could use her for money so one day he jst up and left me at 8months prego and i was just super sad, its been about a year and i havent been able to have sex with anyone or even keep a conversation going long enough to get to know someone because i am sooo afraid to deal with this i havent let go it still hurts me believe it or not i did fall for this person, hes the father of my child.come to find out this gurl he cheated on me with was prego and shes having a girl so ever since then he completly ignored me & my daughter even though hes never seen her or met her, at all! he never put in the effort and the baby mom#1 he doesnt help her either, so i am a single mom! i feel so stuck . i dont know what to do with my life , sometimes i break down bc i feel like i am such a sucky mother i have no job, and this really does have a big toll on me, plus passed traumas as well man, i guess i just wanted to vent! what am i gonna tell my daughter?like what am i gonna do? i dont know , and theres so much more man! i had to get an emergency labor bc i was so stressed my baby wasnt due until late april and i gave birth a day after the first baby man ! this is crazy my life is stupid and trifling af i hate it but i really do love my bby idk man im so stck nd furious tht hes out here living his best life and ignoring my daughter

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my life has turned out bad . when i look back at my life i think there is something wrong with me , an inherent personality trait or maybe something i didnt learn that has affected the way i think. everyone else in my family is fine , has thier life together . i nearly thirty and i feel so useless. when i fall into ruts i also get in cycles where self-care goes out the window. i have some sort of poverty mindset where i am thinking the only way of life suitable for me is being homeless because i am just so useless. i cant stand the shame of who i am . i wish i had more courage and aims in life. all i feel is fear and helplessness i just want to stick to my comfort zone , my bed but i feel im intruding on my mum because she cant stand me like this i have ruined my future i need to stop thinking so dreadfully , these thoughts just contain me and drive me down theres something wrong with me to the core - i think its shame . and for 10 years i have not been able to get rid of it , i just passively plod and drag myself along . im getting older and nowhere

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hi! i am new to the site, and have been a listener for a few people. i am curious to know why it so often says that 32 people are engaged in conversations. does the number not update regularly? i spend a lot of time waiting for person who wants to vent. i wonder if i'm doing something wrong. thanks for any help you can provide. :)

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lately i been having suicidal thoughts. i've tried to ignoring them but it keeps getting worse.i almost acted upon it by self harming. sometimes i would hyperventilate randomly with these rushing thoughts of insecurity. me binge eating doesn't help either.im losing interest in things i normally like doing and i'm procasinatinate a lot . i think i need help

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i have to accept that ive got this condition and i have to manage it well to live well - there are things that can make it so much worse + and things that can help me heal and feel better

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ive had anxiety which affects how i function in life for about 10 years now. in that time my patterns are so maladaptive; im very avoidant , feel hopeless , fall into ruts, isolate myself , self-sabotage by avoiding anything i find difficult. i haven't really helped myself to do the best i can or to improve my life i feel immature in that i am still living with the same avoidant patterns ; i haven't learned and grown as a person. can anyone share their story of how they changed themselves from being an avoidant person? .. describing what exactly were the key things that helped you change? i have no idea what will work for me thanks in advance . i feel so alone and unworthy by falling behind so much

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hi, i've recently come to realise i have an addiction to online chatting with internet strangers. for the past week, i've been doing nothing but spending hours chatting with people online. i am normally a quiet shy person in real life and sometimes find it difficult to be able to interact with other people and express myself. but when i'm online, i have nothing to worry about as i am offered anonymity and therefore given the freedom to talk about anything to anyone. i've have met tons of people online and have had many intriguing discussions with them. i've spoken to them about topics that i would never talk about with friends, family, or other people, and have even confessed alot of things that no one in real life knows about me. it makes me feel so satisfied and happy that i'm able to connect so well with people online that i keep coming back, hoping to have another intriguing experince with someone else. initially i wanted to use this as an outlet, but i'm aware it's becoming more than that. i spend so much time chatting online, it's gotten to a point where i no longer attend to activities such as chores, work or going out. i don't even answer texts from friends or family but would i would be more than happy to engage in a convo with strangers online. please help me.

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some life experience here that might help someone else

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i had people stalking me online and they tracked me down on mellowtalk. the owner gives out personal information.

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hello i have been having this poor coping mechanism for sometime now . i coop up and avoid people, my routine turns upside down as i am avoiding life but i become very mindless and either spend endless time distracting myself or eating. i feel really bad shutting people out or not interacting with them while i am hooked onto these self-destructive habits. i think i am really lacing in self-awareness that i can fall into these ruts time and time again. has anyone ever changed themselves from such shameful habits before? any advice on how i can face myself and make myself a better person? is the answer to motivation and improving oneself , to be more connected with other people and the world around me? i isolate too much , i think that is something i have done naturally many times over the years and cant help falling back into every time i am stressed.

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im 28 now and throughout my life i keep living in such a mindless way, get stuck in ruts or have anxiety, fatigue and struggle to keep up. i have yet to finish a degree and earn a salary or support myself. i am just being lazy and entitled and avoiding my responsibilities . i eat unhealthily, cannot stick to a diet, lay about and avoid doing the last of my uni work which will help me graduate. i have not put in any effort for months . it is unbelievable . feb jan dec nov oct sep aug july all these months that i had to do it and i have left myself with less than 4 weeks to write the whole thing. i am not living to create a good future for myself . i am wasting away and ruining my prospects . my daily habits are shameful , what am i doing with my time . why am i wasting my life. im 28 and my life has passed me by , the best years . im making myself ugly and ruining what i have . how could i do this? do i want to see myself fail ? do i want to feel ashamed to all my family and friends. why am i not acknowledging the consequences of my actions . i have been here time and time . dumb avoidant lazy , hopeless

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ive been cutting for a year now. i need to stop. i want to get help, but know i need to tell my parents to get it. please help me out, my cutting’s getting dangerous.

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i feel really selfish writing this, but today is my birthday and everybody had forget it, including my parents. i wish i can forget my own birthday too so i couldn't realised how many people actually forgot it. can you say 'happy birthday' to me, please? it's all i want right now.