posted by Anonymous on 04 February, 2019
i live in a family of 7, with 4 other siblings. its really hard getting along cause im the quietest one and the 2 younger siblings (one is a baby, he doesnt count yet) are so damn annoying. i share a room with my older sister and we understand eachother more than our parents understand us, which is cool. our youngest sisters toys/stuffed animals are also in our room since we have no where to put them. our room is constantly a mess cause youngest sister (ys for short) always wants to “play” with them. because of this, me and os (older sister) keep getting in trouble for “not cleaning our room”, or “not keeping our room clean”. ys is always blaming shit on us and yb (younger brother, srry if its confusing). if shes mad, and hits you, she’ll start crying and yells that we hit her. then we’d get in trouble, or she’ll be told to cut her crap. recently os and my mom were watching a movie and one of our cats was messing with the tv, so our mom told me to come get her and put her in our room. no problem, took her upstairs and closed the doors. about an hour passed and ys came knocking in our door. i told her not know (btw shes a 4 year old with a dramatic sassy 16 year old teen inside her) but she comes over to the sliding door and opens it, allowing for catto to escape. i was pissed cause i didnt want her messing with the movie again so i told ys to get out. she clung to os’s bed and stayed there while i tried to pry her off, and she started crying. i was getting even more pissed cause i forgot to pause the video i was watching and was getting well away from where i last went off. she pointing to one of her toys so i gave it to her and told her to get out. she said she “was scared”, which is always a lie cause wtf is there to be afraid of? a dark bathroom? (btw our room connects to a bathroom through a sliding door) i turned on the light and told her to get out, but she wouldnt. about 2 minutes passed and i was extremely pissed, and my mom yelled at her from downstairs to get out, and so slowly she did. she was closing the bathroom door so i put my hand lightly on the knob to make sure she closes it all the way, its instinct, and supposedly “closed it on her toe”. i never felt anything block the door, not her foot, her toe, anything. it was bullshit. she started crying like she was dying and my sister came up to see what was going on. i told her she closed it on her toe, but i guess she didnt hear cause of ys’s screeching and my mom yelled at me to get down. she told to stop messing/bullying my younger siblings, stop being mean, etc, or else i would get my stuff taken away. i went upstairs crying and went to my room. im just tired of her bullshit. shes (ys) always accusing me of shit she did, which i hate. she always wants what i have, even if it isnt hers, and most of the time shell get it, “cause shes only four”. i had gemstones and lego sets and other items ive collected for 2+ years that she would mess with (without my permission) and eventually loose. good news is that i found most of my gemstones, one sadly broke in half. my mom would always say after i went to her basically sobbing that “she was only four, what do you expect? you never used them”. ys even colored on my school project i planned for about a week with several copic markers, leaving the caps off. i would hide my stuff in places she couldnt find or reach but she would always get to them. me, yb (younger brother), and ys would fight a lot, but most of the time its ys telling us to “get out” (of our room, tf) “move”, or just hit us for no reason. we would just get her back. whenever my siblings fight, its always them starting it, not me. why should i be the one getting in trouble for shit they did, and i had no part of? im tired of their bullshit
talk to your mom about this! if she doesn't believe you try to vent to your older sister and see if she can help
from what i gathered you are frustrated living in a space that doesnt have a lot of space for you to communicate. especially to your mom. i think you are intelligent. i think you know living with a big family is hard to communicate in. its difficult to get your voice heard. its hard on your mom, who is trying to do right for all of you. she cant have her eyes and ears on ever situation that happens and therefore will make those decisions on what she thinks is right. and yeah its frustrating. cause like you said getting in trouble for what others did is bullshit. you are absolutely right. but you have to also understand; being an older sibling you have a 4 year old looking at you like "woah she's so cool, i need to do everything she does, i need to have her things" and the hardest part of that is that it is natural for a 4 year old to be like that. its natural for them to over exaggerate too, because their emotional intelligence is not experienced enough or do they have capability to understand what is happening all the time. so yes, she might've not gotten her toe stubbed but she knows her feelings are hurt, she knows you just closed a door on her. because of that, a lil lightbulb might have went off in her mind, cause she mightve had a past experience of her toe being stubbed from a door and thinks that what happened again cause she is emotionally hurt. and at 4 you dont always recognize the difference from physical or emotional pain. which yes, is frustrating. its going to be frustrating for many years because she is developing. just like you, when you were younger. knowing this, you need to understand she is not getting you into trouble to get you into trouble. like other replies, i also agree you need to talk to your mom and tell her how you are feeling frustrated. think what you want to say to her. if you feel like you are still too upset to say it, write it down. give her a letter saying how you feel but also tell her how much you love her. your mom loves you all and she isnt dishing out punishments to let the younger siblings get away with things. best to you
Anonymous ● 05 February, 2019 ⚓︎
thats a tough situation but it sounds like you cant change much right now. i guess you have to be strong for now while you deal with the less mature people in your family. keep in mind with 5 kids your parents must be working non stop and often won't have time to think of such things. best of luck to you.