posted by Anonymous on 16 April, 2019
i got no intrinsic motivation for anything in life. i've mostly been doing nothing for about 2 or 3 years now living in my parents' house. they never told me i needed to get a profession, never really got taken seriously i feel like. and i feel like i want to do something in my life. i'm 26 now and i've achieved nothing. i have no money and i can't move out. this environment is toxic. i want to do something that im passionate about but i got no intrinsic motivation. i've basically tried every bit of advice there is. i've tried new things (that i can try based on my budget), i've tried going to therapy, i've tried making friends, but... idk what to do with my life. i got no friends, my family sucks and i don't relate to them at all... i feel like i wanna do something but i feel stuck. please help before i decide to kill myself some day at random.
i don't know if we are similar people, but if we are. . . if i ever do think about killing myself i just take a second and think " is this really going to do anything? my life is stagnant and i want a change, but this will just end everything, it'll change absolutely nothing. i'll die sad and pathetic and is that really what i want?" that might seem a little harsh, but you have to think like that if you want change. to me, it seems like you want change, you want something to get you pumped up about life. i'd recommend looking back, what made you happy when you were really little? what about in your teens? once you graduated high school, what gave you a long term feelings of happiness? life is very long, you aren't doing nothing with your life because you've only live 1/3 of it (on average). everyone has potential to do something great. the universe, god, people, whatever you choose to believe in has given you a purpose, a purpose you've always had. you just need to hustle and continue searching for that purpose. sitting at home might seem nice, but a little bit of work will go a long way. there are tons of free classes for different forms of art and scholarships if you want to go back to school. just show the world you are willing to work for what you want, even if you don't know what that is quite yet.
Anonymous ● 18 April, 2019 ⚓︎
oh, man. i wanna help you dude but idk how much i can. but here goes. i'm in a similar situation as you. i have no motivation to do anything, even things i care about. what i've found is that motivation never just appears on its own. i have to really push myself to go out and do stuff. but when i do it's almost always worth it. it's much easier to do stuff with other people than by yourself. so find some people who are doing something you're interested in and go to their next meeting. the meetup app is fantastic for this. you can also find out about local groups by going to coffeeshops and other community spaces and reading their bulletin boards. when you find something that piques your interest, make yourself go. whatever you have to do to make that happen. try to foster a sense of anticipation and excitement about it. i know that sounds lame, but if you find something that you are interested in, you should be able to get at least a little excited about it, so nurture that feeling. then, go. keep an open mind. listen to people. ask "what can i do?" "how can i help?" "what's a good way to get started?" "when's the next meeting?" if you like whatever the activity is, tell people you'll be there next time. learn some names, make new acquaintances who want to help you learn whatever it is they're doing. i'm not gonna sugarcoat it - it is hard, especially at first and especially if you're chronically shy like me. but it does get easier. you learn a little more about relating to other people from every interaction. that's my approach so far. just repeating this process. i have already started meeting great people in my community and finding ways to do stuff that i've wanted to do for a long time. all i'm doing is looking for things i want to try, showing up, helping out, asking questions and sticking with it. i really hope you give this process, or whatever you find that resonates with you in this thread, a shot. life is too short not to live it the way we want.
Anonymous ● 18 April, 2019 ⚓︎
motivation follows action. very true