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why am i like this?

posted by 💡1 Kind Blue Rose on 20 April, 2020

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i knew i shouldn't have but i read another lesbian romance manga. and now im sitting alone crying over fictional love rather than working. i get so wrapped up in stupid shit, yearning for some form of human connection. but nothing ever changes, nobodies around to just chat over the phone. i have so much to do, but i feel so crushingly unloved that im turning to strangers on the internet? how do i stop being sad all the time?




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7 insights

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💡137 💎2 Delightful Scarlet Jellyfish ● 21 April, 2020 ⚓︎


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hey there! i can assure you, there's nothing wrong with looking for affection. i understand you're feeling overwhelmed. would you care to explain what do you mean when you say that you feel unloved? and would you like to explain how that makes you sad?

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Anonymous ● 21 April, 2020 ⚓︎


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is it really so hard to imagine how feeling unloved makes you feel sad

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💡137 💎2 Delightful Scarlet Jellyfish ● 21 April, 2020 ⚓︎


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not at all, but i'd rather ask than presume.

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Anonymous ● 21 April, 2020 ⚓︎


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fair enough

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💡15 Quirky Orchid Gazelle ● 25 April, 2020 ⚓︎


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hi there, this got pretty long, though, there's no worries about replying in full or asap, though, i just wanted to share this with you, it's very understandable to crave for love & affection & to read stories that have those qualities in them, i can imagine how tough it is to be moved to tears & it's very understandable to get invested in a story that hits close to home or tugs on your heartstrings, i hear where you're coming from, it's difficult to work while coping with emotions & i don't think it's stupid, i can empathize with how it feels to be moved by a story & to crave for connection, as you deserve to feel loved & have support & a place to call your own around others who treat you with respect & kindness, i hope that someone will be able to chat with you & that you're able to take care with all the things you have to do, especially while feeling unloved, it's okay to talk to others & on the internet, as mellowtalk is here to listen for you too & i'm unsure how to stop feeling sad all the time, though, i hope things will be kinder to you & i don't think there's anything wrong in allowing yourself to feel,, i've heard vent is an app similar to mellowtalk & so is 7cups, i've used them in the past as well, if you feel more comfortable talking with people online, & i hope you're able to practice self-care when you can & i'm cheering you on & rooting for you, kind blue rose, 💙

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Anonymous ● 21 April, 2020 ⚓︎


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i can say for certainly that the lesbian romance manga didn't hurt you. i think this is an opportunity to explore why you're hurting at all. where do these feelings come from? we are in a quarantine, it's easy to fall for the trap of self hatred. we as people need social interaction and when that is denied to us, in this case not by our own choice, the default reaction is to blame ourselves. because that's how we survived long ago. if something bad is happening to you, it must be changed or you're going to die. the key here in these strange times where you have a lot of existential pressure from this need for others and stress over the state of the world is not to put it on yourself. you know things have to get better and when they do what you're experiencing now won't seem so bad at all looking back you're doing the right thing. keep trying to talk to people. keep socializing with us, that was a great idea! do things you find fun. spend some time in the sun (that's super important). maintain a routine the best you can. challenge yourself to return to normalcy. this is like weight training for your personal resilience. if you can get out of this some positive outlook and coping mechanisms, you'll be a little happier on average for the rest of your life. so at least you have that to look forward to.

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Anonymous ● 26 May, 2020 ⚓︎


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i feel you. the fictional world draws me much more than the real one, and often i wish i could but once be part of the stories i read. the real world disappoints often, all one can do is try to balance. use it as a reward system maybe? like after working or during unwinding time, let urself read n relax. you are not alone