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why am i like this?

posted by 💡1 Kind Blue Rose on 20 April, 2020

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i knew i shouldn't have but i read another lesbian romance manga. and now im sitting alone crying over fictional love rather than working. i get so wrapped up in stupid shit, yearning for some form of human connection. but nothing ever changes, nobodies around to just chat over the phone. i have so much to do, but i feel so crushingly unloved that im turning to strangers on the internet? how do i stop being sad all the time?

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Anonymous ● 21 April, 2020 ⚓︎

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i can say for certainly that the lesbian romance manga didn't hurt you. i think this is an opportunity to explore why you're hurting at all. where do these feelings come from? we are in a quarantine, it's easy to fall for the trap of self hatred. we as people need social interaction and when that is denied to us, in this case not by our own choice, the default reaction is to blame ourselves. because that's how we survived long ago. if something bad is happening to you, it must be changed or you're going to die. the key here in these strange times where you have a lot of existential pressure from this need for others and stress over the state of the world is not to put it on yourself. you know things have to get better and when they do what you're experiencing now won't seem so bad at all looking back you're doing the right thing. keep trying to talk to people. keep socializing with us, that was a great idea! do things you find fun. spend some time in the sun (that's super important). maintain a routine the best you can. challenge yourself to return to normalcy. this is like weight training for your personal resilience. if you can get out of this some positive outlook and coping mechanisms, you'll be a little happier on average for the rest of your life. so at least you have that to look forward to.