posted by Anonymous on 11 April, 2021
im late 20s , feel totally dead inside and alone . i broke up with a long term bf last year and that boost initially from moving away from him and focusing on myself was there . after some months , back in m loneliness and my own history of depression/anxiety/avoidance has caught up on me. ive been feeling anxious, escapist or apathetic for almost 3 months now. not showering and boxing myself in my room , in bed. i know i feel no motivation to change , which sort of scares me and makes me feel bleak. im scared to change and i scared of things getting better, i dont know why i wont even help myself why im scared im actually passively leading myself to elf-sabotage .. which has happened a few times in my life. then i cant catch up and get in trouble .. lose jobs, fail my education, need time off , im too old to be making the same mistakes but i just dont feel i can keep up with life and hold on. i just want to stay in bed and hide and sleep away (im anxious). i feel so rubbish about myself that at this age im no better than i was 10 years ago
Anonymous ● 20 May, 2021 ⚓︎
such hard relate...idk what to do either. how long will sleep n music keep me alive...