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am i needy or justified?

posted by 💡1 Groovy Smooth Kangaroo on 17 September, 2021

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i'll try to keep this brief and thank anyone for their feedback and time in advance. i'm happily married for 4 yrs and been together for about 11 yrs now. by most standards, we have an awesome relationship. by that i mean, we love each other, for the most part we communicate well, we share goals and never really fight. i'm a very affectionate person with my wife and constantly caress and kiss her throughout the day. i do this because i'm just a loving person. with this in mind, i'm usually the one that initiates sex, i'm usually the one that initiates cuddling, i initiate a kiss, you get the idea. my wife is receptive to all of this and i do not feel in any way like she's forced to go along. my problem is that i don't receive this affection from her at all. she reciprocates for the most part when i initiate but she never initiates any of this affection. when she does, it makes me feel so loved and cared for and i feel like i'm at the top of the world. there's nothing better for me, especially when she does it in public. i have asked her repeatedly that i love it and i would like for her to be more affectionate but she has never changed or done anything about it. do you think i'm being needy? i hate to think that maybe she's just bored with me or our relationship. am i out of line continuing to press on this? i really don't want to ruffle any feathers by bringing it up over and over again because otherwise, our relationship is amazing and i'm just so grateful for everything else?




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Anonymous ● 18 September, 2021 ⚓︎


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honestly, i don't think you're being needy. as humans, we want to feel loved and affection. with that being said since you said you repeatedly asked her about showing affection by her initiating it...i think maybe one of two things...one she's shy and doesnt like to do pdas or two maybe she really is bored with you and your relationship i hope in your favor since you two are married that she isnt the latter. if it bothers you so much then ask her about it and tell her you want her to be more affectionate towards you since you love her but dont do it in a commanding sort of way. be like hey, i love it if you would show some pda towards me or something along that lines. if it bothers you way too much than go into therapy to work it out. honeslty i dont think there really is a problem since you said she shows it back when initiate but doesnt initiate it herself. its not like she doesnt love you obviously she does i mean she married you and all....well sorry if i wasnt much help i hope you all the best and hope you work this problem out. best of luck!

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Anonymous ● 19 September, 2021 ⚓︎


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you're a lucky person. you are able to show affection easily. but not everyone has that gift. so, as long as she isn't rejecting you when you approach her, and since you have already talked about it, i would say let it be and enjoy what sounds like a wonderful relationship. we don't get everything in equal measure from other people. but if she is good to you, that counts for so much.