posted by 🎂 💡3 Choice Glass Elk on 17 April, 2019
i don't plot out murders on specific people, i don't want to hurt anyone specifically. i enjoy thinking or extremely disturbing thoughts of violence though. is this okay? if not how to i fix it? i enjoy the thoughts of someone (anyone) being in deafening pain and seeing the the extent of a situation a person can handle (mentally and physically). i do not plan on actually doing this to someone non consensually. though, i think about it often.
everyone has intrusive thoughts from time to time. some can be quite violent and still be in the range of normal. however, if these thoughts either begin to affect your quality of life or you ever consider acting on them for real, it is time to seek help. it sounds like it might be the former more than the latter in your case. a lot of times these things can manifest as the result of other pre existing disorders, for example extreme emotionality (like intrusive violent thoughts) to counter flat depressive thoughts or feelings of helplessness. another reason could be because you feel insecure or disenfranchised and this is a way to feel more empowered in your own life. either way, it is good to recognize and talk about these things. i would recommend talking to a professional even just once to gauge if this is truly a symptom of something else of if it is actually within the realm of normality.