posted by Anonymous on 28 December, 2019
you know me, you have known me for a long time, you know my wishes and dreams, i know you and your wishes and dreams. sometimes it seems like we're never on the same page as each other as to where we stand. you said you would never cheat on me and if you were going to you would tell me first. personally honestly i sometimes feel like i am just a sex toy for you, you just don't seem to care. you once told me that you were never really planning on marrying me but yet you asked me, this is why i feel like a sex toy also you said later on that you only married me because you felt like your mom forced you to marry me because we were "engaged" for so long. somehow from all of this i feel this way like i am just being used for my body. when i asked you when you really told me you didn't really want to get married, i felt sad, and hopeless like i crushed your dream and i felt like someone you could just dispose of if anything went wrong. the fact that we work so well together and have worked well together for as long as we have been together shows you that we're meant to be. we just have our problems that we have to sort through. i honestly am not sure why i feel this way, maybe i am just depressed or something, like i am no good and you can just easily get rid of me, even though we're married. i personally feel like when you said you would never cheat on me, the fact that you look at naked women behind my back and cam sites because yes i still know you do that shit and i don't appreciate it, it is just another form of cheating.
maybe he's not right then. it sounds like if he didn't want to get married, it's not your fault. he could've said something a long time ago. if you feel like a sex toy, tell him. if he responds in a way that makes you feel degraded, he's not worth your time. you want to be with someone that wants to be with you. i understand that. maybe talk to him about taking a break, spending some time away from each other. maybe he just needs some time to realize that what he has is actually pretty good. there are plenty of people out there that don't realize what they have until it's gone...as cliche as that sounds, it can be completely true. i hope things get better.