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letter to my s/o i am not sure if i am just depressed or whatever

posted by Anonymous on 28 December, 2019

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you know me, you have known me for a long time, you know my wishes and dreams, i know you and your wishes and dreams. sometimes it seems like we're never on the same page as each other as to where we stand. you said you would never cheat on me and if you were going to you would tell me first. personally honestly i sometimes feel like i am just a sex toy for you, you just don't seem to care. you once told me that you were never really planning on marrying me but yet you asked me, this is why i feel like a sex toy also you said later on that you only married me because you felt like your mom forced you to marry me because we were "engaged" for so long. somehow from all of this i feel this way like i am just being used for my body. when i asked you when you really told me you didn't really want to get married, i felt sad, and hopeless like i crushed your dream and i felt like someone you could just dispose of if anything went wrong. the fact that we work so well together and have worked well together for as long as we have been together shows you that we're meant to be. we just have our problems that we have to sort through. i honestly am not sure why i feel this way, maybe i am just depressed or something, like i am no good and you can just easily get rid of me, even though we're married. i personally feel like when you said you would never cheat on me, the fact that you look at naked women behind my back and cam sites because yes i still know you do that shit and i don't appreciate it, it is just another form of cheating.

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Anonymous ● 02 January, 2020 ⚓︎

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hey there.. it sucks that you are feeling this way. internet hugs, friend. but have you had a talk with him? i mean , did you dit down and conversed with each other about how you feel? or why he's searching for temporary gratification? if you didnt, please give it a try. no matter how difficult it might be. if you did and you still are at square one, please dont hurt yourself. sometimes even if there's no one at fault, this stuff happens and you feel/act distant from each other. talk about taking a break from the expectations from one another. im not asking you to leave the house or something. im just suggesting that taking some time to think over helps. itll give you a clearer perspective. if you feel like you're being used, try not to indulge in it and let him know why. impo, miscommunication breaks the thickest of bonds. so try to communicate with each other and come to a conclusion. i know its not as easier. but hey, you gotta give a try from your side. you just seem to miss the spark from your early days. you gotta get pro-active and get it back. you can even meet a counselor or therapist for help. i hope you feel better soon, friend. take care.