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im sorry -- a message to my love

posted by 💡2 Trendy Chocolate Penguin on 14 January, 2020

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it's been really hard to deal with these intense, dejected feelings and act like i am fine. i want you to know that these emotions are not because of you. your actions do affect me, but i am the reason that i blow them out of proportion and convince myself that you do not love me anymore. i unfortunately need a lot of reassurance and i am at a very vulnerable and sensitive time of my life. i cannot explain it.. but i feel terrible for putting you through this... we did have our issues and you've fixed them, but i still don't feel better about myself. so it has to be me. i must be the problem.... and im sorry for making my problems your problems. it is not your responsibility to take care of me.. i love you and i think you deserve better than me.

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Anonymous ● 17 February, 2020 ⚓︎

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many a time, i have definitely felt similiar feelings that you have in your relationship -- message to my love im sorry that i keep ignoring your calls and distancing myself. when i am stressed or in reality being irresponsible , i turn into a mess and dont look after myself properly. i neglect my appearance, my diet , exercise and avoid my studies which i should have completed. i feel i am dragging you down by not being there for you or holding myself up to the standards you hold yourself to. im an unsuitable partner yet i dont want to lose you so i dont tell you that i feel these rubbish feelings towards myself. the worst thing is i do it to myself , i cause myself to be the way i am , its not your fault , you deserve someone who has more pride and functions better. im dreading the day you meet the girl who you can see yourself marrying straight away , who you can proudly introduce to your parents. a girl who exudes confidence in herself , in you and in the relationship and gives it waht it deserves