posted by Anonymous on 01 October, 2019
the problem is, i don't know what it is. but i'm pretty sure that something's wrong with me. for starters, i cannot talk to people without looking them in the eye. whenever people talk to me, tell me things, its as if i don't ever understand what they actually mean. like, someone would say a joke, and i'd be completely clueless. or when im given an instruction, i do something completely different. its as if im out of the loop with people. this makes people think, im not listening to them, because i dont like them, which isnt true. my understanding is just really bad sometimes. but this makes it really hard for me to talk to people, because i'm a hard person to talk to, and i know that. i always feel like such a burden, you know? i always do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing. i always hesitate to talk to people, and do things, because im afraid that ill do things wrong again, and by hesitating to talk to people, people think that i'm uncooperative and unfriendly. im not, or at least, i try my best not to be. im just...scared. sometimes even the thought of opening my messages just makes my brain freeze or something and i cant think and i dont get any work done. my grades are getting really bad lately because of this and i might lose my scholarship. i don't know what to do. i have no one to talk to at all...my parents dont believe me. they just think im making excuses. so whenever they catch me crying, they ask me why, then i can't explain to them because when i did explain they said i was making excuses, like i said. and then they get mad at me because they think im crying for no reason. is being sad, not a reason? sorry, for the long vent. any advice at all would be appreciated greatly. i just cant go on like this anymore.
Anonymous ● 01 October, 2019 ⚓︎
hi there! you say that, sometimes, you cannot comprehend what other people are saying. maybe that happens because you're not focused, your head may be on the clouds. is there something (other than that) bothering you that may be provoking your absence of mind? this situation is causing you some discomfort and is creating some insecurities, specially regarding your relationships with others. some people are just a little "social awkward", you know? and there's nothing wrong with that. as long as your intentions are good, people won't judge your quirkiness (at least the people who care about you). there's nothing wrong with being a little bit peculiar. maybe you say the wrong things at the wrong time. so what? some people use that quality to make people laugh or to entertain crowds. embrace what makes you different, instead of being ashamed of it. please don't be so hard on yourself for not conforming to social norms. however, if you see you're in trouble because of this, you can try to mitigate this feature of yours. it's important for you to realize that your conversation skills can improve, as long as you put some effort into it. maybe make an appointment with a therapist, someone experienced with speech affairs. try to talk with your parents about this. i know it may be hard to do so, it may feel like they don't understand you (and maybe they don't, parents aren't perfect), but it's very important that you feel supported by someone close to you. sit with them and explain all this. if you don't feel ready to do that, try at least telling them that you'd like to get some help from a professional to deal with some issues. being sad is a valid reason to cry. being sad is valid. but it isn't a way to live. we got to cheer you up and the way to do so is to find a solution to the root of your problems. don't be sorry for letting off steam! we're here for it. always feel free to come in here to tell us about the way you're feeling and remember that everything will be alright
Anonymous ● 03 October, 2019 ⚓︎
i’ve felt that way before. its always good to ask for clarifications and ask questions of people to better understand them instead of perhaps assuming the worst. you can’t know of someone or something if you don’t ask questions to find out more. i challenge you to invite an acquaintance to lunch or to a park to have conversation and learn more about them. sometimes these brave steps are absolutely necessary. thats how i conquered mine. good luck!