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i lost my mom this past april

posted by 💡1 Mellow Striped Bee on 15 February, 2019

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hello, i lost my mom this past april. she was only 55. we were really close and she was my best friend. im definitely having a really hard time. i haven’t talked to a therapist or anything because i just haven’t been ready to i suppose. i have been having anxiety & panic attacks. i will be fine for a week or so and then have a complete breakdown and it’s like i start over from the beginning with grieving. it hurts so much. i finally was so desperate i googled online therapy or forums where you can vent and express yourself. this is the website i clicked on. it has been really rough..




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Anonymous ● 15 February, 2019 ⚓︎


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there is no shame in seeing someone, and no shame in not doing so. everyone grieves differently. unfortunately, there really isn't much you can do but wait. this isn't classic depression you're experiencing, it is a unique human emotion which everyone experiences. you can try and divert your energy into other things: painting, meditating, working out, ect. but the reality is time is the best remedy to this condition. i'm sorry. you're probably very young to have experienced this and i can't imagine coping with something of this magnitude given the experiences you've had. therapy might help or it might not. the key is to find what works for you and grow. its so, so hard but from this loss you will find something new in yourself. i'm so sorry. on the bright side, i can tell you it gets easier. i won't pretend like it'll every be the same and there will always be something missing no matter how hard to try to fill that melancholy void, but it will get better. i'm so, so sorry. take care. always remember you're not alone in this struggle.

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Wholesome Round Goldfish ● 10 March, 2019 ⚓︎


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my dad commited suicide which depressed my mom who died a year later after her somkimg burnt our house down. i got sad and overwhelmed every so often like you said. i talked through it and still journal and made a list of things that make me happy so i can go to the list when i need to feel better. coming here is a good step. other people have survived tough things and you are here for a reason. you smille at ppl each day and you share your story when you feel safe and that helps someone else. i also take good days to write myself a letter in my jkurnal that i reread hen i need it. i know you miss her so much. but she is watching you and would not leave you alone even on the other side

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Anonymous ● 13 March, 2019 ⚓︎


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where do the anxiety and panic attacks originate from, specifically? have you been... - skipping meals/neglecting your overall health? - depriving yourself of sleep, and/or intaking lots of caffeine to make up for it? - stressing about how to cope with work and/or any other affairs? - isolating yourself from the rest of the family? time will never heal the wound, but it will ease the pain. those aren't original words, but they're the best words you can have right now. while it is normal for you to have anxiety/panic attacks following your mom's passing, please do not try anything drastic or unusual to ease the pain; you may just dig yourself in deeper. eat healthy and well. be active. get as much sleep as you did prior to her passing. take leave from the rest of the world if you need to. this sounds like some motivational bullshit straight out of a walmart book, but it isn't meaningless. don't go to a therapist. not yet. talk to what family you still have. make them listen to you. make yourself listen to them. stay with one another-- i don't mean a three hour visit. live closely to each other and spend some time for yourselves for a while. take time to truly and devotionally bond with them. your mother has left a gaping hole between y'all, and you can't neglect it. it only makes things worse. if you still feel as horrible as you do now even after trying all that, visit a therapist. take care of yourself, mellow.

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Anonymous ● 15 February, 2019 ⚓︎


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from wind river: "i'd like to tell you it gets easier. it doesn't. if there's any... comfort, it's... getting used to the pain, i suppose. went to a grief seminar in casper. did you know that? i don't know why. just wanted the bad to go away. wanted answers... to questions that couldn't be answered. the counselor come up to me after the seminar and sat down next to me. and he said something that stuck with me. i don't know if it's what he said, or how he said it. he says, "i got some good news, and i got some bad news. bad news is you're never gonna be the same. you're never gonna be whole, not ever again. you lost your daughter. nothing's ever going to replace that. now the good news is, as soon as you accept that, and you let yourself suffer... you allow yourself to visit her in your mind, and you'll remember all the love she gave you, all the joy she knew." point is, martin, you can't steer from the pain. if you do, you'll rob yourself... you'll rob yourself of every memory of her. every last one. from her first step to her last smile. kill 'em all. just take the pain, martin. you hear me? you take it. it's the only way you'll keep her with you."

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Anonymous ● 15 February, 2019 ⚓︎


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if it continues longer than you can bear, professional help may always be a way to help lessen the pain. don't shy away from it.