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i have a voice but i can't talk. i don't know why

posted by 💡1 Magical Blue Fish on 19 April, 2019

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i can't talk to people without freezing up and becoming a strutting mess even though i don't have a stutter. i even have the same problem with online chatting. i have a hard time putting my mind together when talking to someone so conversations with me are just awkward. though it's a little better when written down it takes me forever to put it down and check it over and over again until i feel it's right and even than i still hesitate to send it. my heart starts hammering away in my chest, i get cold, i feel short of breath, i start to get teary eyed. if i mess up in any way while talking to someone, whether or not it's a small not noticeable thing or not even my fault i feel like it is my fault. which leads to me just shutting myself in and berating myself. i've tried talking to someone before. different people 3 times. but it never lasts long, less than five visits and nothing gets done no matter how nice they are because of how i am when it comes to talking about anything personal related to me and i always feel like i'm taking a space for someone else who truly needs it way more than me. (though the last therapist i talk to prescribed me some sort of medicine though i don't remember what it was. ) even if it's about my day i still feel as though i'm saying something stupid and should shut up before i drive a person away. the only time i can make myself do something i would be to frighten to do is if i needed to help someone or if i'm irritated/ angry. (ex: if my friend needs something and is too afraid themselves to get it or if an innocent person is being picked on.) however, if i'm being picked on it has to go too far before i stand up for my self. ( going from embarrassed of the situation to angry) i'm sorry that this is so long. i just don't know what's wrong with me. i've talked about anxiety and other things with my mother but i've never been diagnosed with anything. i just want it to stop so that i can do the things i want to do with my life without having to prepare a speech before hand.




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💡5 Quirky Orchid Gazelle ● 25 April, 2019 ⚓︎


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i definitely hear how much of a struggle it is for you to talk and communicate your thoughts and feelings, i can understand how difficult it can be to talk to others and to articulate what you're thinking as well as feeling awkward when speaking, i can hear how you've expressed that your anxiety makes you cold, short of breath, and teary eyed, and despite this, you've still tried to talk to different people a few times, which i feel shows your strength, and you definitely deserve to feel heard and listened to and supported and for your voice to be heard, though, i don't think you're saying anything stupid, you matter & so does what you have to say, and i believe that no one should make you feel small or bad if you stutter without meaning to or feel like you're not worth talking to, and i feel like your friend, if your friend is a true friend, would love to hear what you're saying, and be patience with you always, and that's very brave of you to use your voice to help someone, or to voice your irriation or anger, and there's no need to apologize for sharing, this is a safe place & you definitely deserve to be heard, thank you for expressing yourself here, and i hope that you're able to discuss with your mom, your therapist, or another person in your support system about how troublesome this has been for you & to help figure out what will be best to do next, and i hope your days will be much kinder to you & i'm cheering you on & rooting for you, magical blue fish, you rock & you're doing your best, and i believe in you...! 💙

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💡3 Simple Round Rose ● 21 April, 2019 ⚓︎


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i think that you have social anxiety i also have that trust me it is going to be hard but soon you will adjust to it i have not completely handled mine myself but i will be willing to give you my contact info so i can help you adjust take as long as you may need no one cares

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👍2 💡43 Big Boy Ben ● 21 April, 2019 ⚓︎


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no contact info please.

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Anonymous ● 21 April, 2019 ⚓︎


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you have trouble talking to people. and you know what? it's not a big deal. and i mean that in the most positive of ways: a lot of people also have trouble and recover. the best advice i can give is continue putting yourself in those situations. you wont develop your social skills by avoiding interaction. yes, you'll be awkward a couple times and you might even strike out. but that happens to a lot of people. what's important is that you keep trying so those awkward periods become less and less frequent. being socially adept is like a muscle. it needs training and refinement to be useful. and before long with practice, people will find you not only normal but charming.

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Anonymous ● 21 April, 2019 ⚓︎


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relax and don't try to fit into some mold of what a "normal/good talker" would do. feel free to get what you want out of the conversation instead of letting them guide the whole thing. dont just nod along and agree with whatever they say. be prepared to be curious and skeptical about their opinions, and ask questions to reveal their motives so you can understand them better. even if you don't particularly have an opposing opinion, it is interesting just to find out what makes the other person come to their decisions.

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Anonymous ● 21 April, 2019 ⚓︎


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you're in your head. the easiest way to get out of your head is to force yourself to take an interest in other people. don't focus on how they're perceiving you. focus on them. listen to what they have to say. the awkwardness of it all can be pretty funny. if you can't get out of your head, more than likely you have some important shit to get done that you better go get done.