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i am the cause of my own depression

posted by Anonymous on 20 July, 2020

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has anybody ever gave up after years of trying with anxiety and depression ... and then just given up, turned into a slob , escaping everyday into unhealthy and addictive , unproductive activities? i just have no standards for myself anymore, my character is bad - im a miserable person , lazy to do constructive things to build myself up again . i stay withdrawn and away from people. the few friendships i had are gone as i never shared that i was struggling ever with depression/anxiety just shocking how much of a mess i am and worse that i am almost choosing to be like that with my poor choices. this is the longest time ive ever been staying like this , i feel it is so much a part of me . i think ill end up committing suicide in the future if i carry on hating who i am. any pointers ? how did anyone build their self-love , self-respect up and change themselves and their life from anxiety/depression cycles ??




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Anonymous ● 20 July, 2020 ⚓︎


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jordan peterson advice -tidy up your room , -do those small things that matter.. that have been bugging you - set a schedule up to have a good day (productive and enjoyable) other: - do some self-care , meditation - get exercising , get out in your free time - anti-inflammatory diet is important : real foods not junk . - be more compassionate to yourself, acknowledge your journey , the origin of your struggles , highlight your strengths - with each day, point out the small positives , the efforts you contributed to you and to others (to help retrain you to stop thinking so self-critically, miserably and hopelessly) all the small efforts compound and one day you will feel a change , things have got better by your own efforts do something about being kind and positive around others and have self-compassion to be authentic about your struggles to others???? or just be a better friend to yourself (i feel telling others wont help me / i feel ashamed telling them / i fear they wont care and reject me.)

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Anonymous ● 20 July, 2020 ⚓︎


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for starters, stop telling yourself it's your fault. you can't fix the past, so quit picking on yourself. the way i did it was: i decided what i wanted and each day i did as much as i could to get there. you don't build self-love, self-respect and change your life in a day. a week. or any other timespan that can be counted on a calendar. it's an inside job, and you work at your own pace to change it. eventually, miraculously, it does change. and that feels very good. if you want to read a helpful book, get a copy of "loving what is" by byron katie. she has developed a method for thinking about your life and experiences in a way that really does help. she's a survivor of self-loathing and she understands how it feels. she has videos online as well. i got a lot out of her method. you might too. best of luck to you.

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👍10 💡1 Mysterious Polychromatic Goat ● 21 July, 2020 ⚓︎


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in addition to all the great advice i have seen here, i would say it's important to set goals for yourself. however, there's something that's very important to remember with goals: when you set a goal, it's important to find value in striving for the goal, as opposed to reaching it. for example, if your goal is to master an instrument, have that be your goal, but try to find your happiness in the work you do every day to reach that goal, not the goal itself. the goal gives you direction, but your sense of purpose comes from the day to day stuff you do to work towards that goal.

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Groovy Prismatic Fox ● 17 September, 2020 ⚓︎


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mental illness will change your inner dialogue and perspectives, once you have a narrative in your mind it can be hard to look past it because often we gather evidence, even if its faulty evidence, that supports it. you're not to blame because you developed side-effects of depression. you were trying to feel better the best way you knew how and it can be extremely hard to break those habbits and that cycle. the best advice i can give you is find the right support, talk to a therapist who specializes in additicions and depression. find groups of people with depression helping others with depression. create a self-boundaries code, making sure that you can get the basic fundamental needs done, and on your worst days you reward yourself for everything you accomplished. challenge your inner dialogue, if you feel "im unlovable, unwanted, i deserve to be alone" respond by taking those thoughts apart and asking yourself "who made me believe that i am unlovable?" and really think and feel that out. maybe in the future, when you feel able, you can reach out to those friends you lost. i too once thought i lost friends forever because of my mental illness only to find majority of them really reciprocated when i reached out. you can still build and grow yourself, people will forgive you, you should forgive yourself too.

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Anonymous ● 20 July, 2020 ⚓︎


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thanks in advance