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i am the cause of my own depression

posted by Anonymous on 20 July, 2020

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has anybody ever gave up after years of trying with anxiety and depression ... and then just given up, turned into a slob , escaping everyday into unhealthy and addictive , unproductive activities? i just have no standards for myself anymore, my character is bad - im a miserable person , lazy to do constructive things to build myself up again . i stay withdrawn and away from people. the few friendships i had are gone as i never shared that i was struggling ever with depression/anxiety just shocking how much of a mess i am and worse that i am almost choosing to be like that with my poor choices. this is the longest time ive ever been staying like this , i feel it is so much a part of me . i think ill end up committing suicide in the future if i carry on hating who i am. any pointers ? how did anyone build their self-love , self-respect up and change themselves and their life from anxiety/depression cycles ??

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Anonymous ● 20 July, 2020 ⚓︎

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for starters, stop telling yourself it's your fault. you can't fix the past, so quit picking on yourself. the way i did it was: i decided what i wanted and each day i did as much as i could to get there. you don't build self-love, self-respect and change your life in a day. a week. or any other timespan that can be counted on a calendar. it's an inside job, and you work at your own pace to change it. eventually, miraculously, it does change. and that feels very good. if you want to read a helpful book, get a copy of "loving what is" by byron katie. she has developed a method for thinking about your life and experiences in a way that really does help. she's a survivor of self-loathing and she understands how it feels. she has videos online as well. i got a lot out of her method. you might too. best of luck to you.