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no more intimacy

posted by 💡1 Distinctly Glowing Alpaca on 09 June, 2019

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my fiance and i have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together since 8months into our relationship. my fiance used to love being intimate and physical with me. always held my hand told me about her day and the general need to be around me and to touch me. she used to love sex she couldn't keep her hands off me, but for the last 6 months or so she wont let me hold her or let me initiate sex and neither does she. she does sleep in my arms, but i feel like a pillow. she denies me every time i want to be intimate and has some sort of excuse. i tried talking to her about it but she keeps saying that shes fat which is not the case or that she is too ticklish for me to touch her, which cannot be true because it wasn't an issue before. when i ask her why she doesn't want me to touch her anymore she says im imagining things and when i ask her why she doesn't want to have sex anymore she gets upset and tells me that everything isnt about sex, which i agree with but she was always the one even more into it than i was. what im trying to get at is that its not like her to not want these things anymore. i asked and no definite answer was given that i am at the point where i just feel like its over, like she had a personality change or i just dont know her anymore. without the intimacy like we had before i just feel like a roommate. i dont know if im seeing this wrong or if something much worse is going on that i dont know of, but i dont know if i can live like this with her.




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Anonymous ● 10 June, 2019 ⚓︎


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first of all i want to make clear your concerns are totally valid. it is perfectly acceptable to want intimacy, and yes, also sex in a relationship. you're doing the right thing by trying to communicate and my best advice is to continue doing so. try no to frame is as "you're doing something wrong, stop it." rather, address is as a way you feel because your feelings are something you're entirely sure about in this case. for example, "i miss getting to hold you and be intimate with you and its something i think is really missing in our relationship." no sex for 6 months and feeling like an outsider is certainly something out of the ordinary no matter the circumstance. there could be any number of reasons for it. it could be insecurity, or work stress, or feeling off about something between you two. maybe she simply wants a bit more romance after the honeymooning phase has died down. if you haven't already, you could try essentially stretching foreplay out across the day, complimenting her and making her feel special, before initiating. good luck!