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lonely and confused

posted by Anonymous on 19 July, 2020

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im lonely. i am so desperately lonely. i have no friends, no social life and no love life. my last relationship was 13 years ago when i was 23. i have been friendless for nearly 10 years. i have no children, although i have a fur baby who some days is the only thing that can genuinely make me smile. what sucks and is so hard for me to understand is that despite this loneliness, i never want to leave the house. i get huge anxiety just at the thought of going to any sort of social function/situation and most often talk myself out of going. even if i do manage to make myself go, i am almost always the first to leave - like i can’t get out of there quickly enough. i don’t understand why i do it. i feel like i’m cutting of my nose to spite my face, but i cant stop myself doing it. why oh why when i so desperately want to belong do i seem to do my best at running away from it? i just don’t understand.

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Anonymous ● 20 July, 2020 ⚓︎

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i feel you. i feel lonely but also antisocial, so its a really difficult situation to get out of it. you just have to overcome one of the feelings, or the situation would remain worse. altho you needn't necessarily go to social function/gatherings for making new friends, you can try casual places like park, cafe, sports etc.