posted by Anonymous on 02 March, 2020
my life has turned out bad . when i look back at my life i think there is something wrong with me , an inherent personality trait or maybe something i didnt learn that has affected the way i think. everyone else in my family is fine , has thier life together . i nearly thirty and i feel so useless. when i fall into ruts i also get in cycles where self-care goes out the window. i have some sort of poverty mindset where i am thinking the only way of life suitable for me is being homeless because i am just so useless. i cant stand the shame of who i am . i wish i had more courage and aims in life. all i feel is fear and helplessness i just want to stick to my comfort zone , my bed but i feel im intruding on my mum because she cant stand me like this i have ruined my future i need to stop thinking so dreadfully , these thoughts just contain me and drive me down theres something wrong with me to the core - i think its shame . and for 10 years i have not been able to get rid of it , i just passively plod and drag myself along . im getting older and nowhere
hello there! first of all, it's really good that you came here to vent. sometimes, talking about the way you're feeling can act as a great catharsis. it can also help you understand your thoughts in a more well-organized way. now, about all that despair, that helplessness you're feeling, and the shame you've now ingrown in you. i understand you don't feel comfortable, at all, with the way your life's turned out to be. however, i feel you're setting your own goals in a depersonalized way. you're trying to evaluate your life by the accomplishments of your family and maybe that's not the way for you to go. when you say your life has turned out bad, maybe what you should be saying is that your life hasn't turned out the way you expected it to. and, maybe, that's not a bad thing by itself. i would recommend you to re-evaluate your goals, understand how you can accomplish them and, most of all, assess if they seem to be possible at this time of your life. if you feel like you need to set new goals for yourself, then do it. everything is possible, but sometimes things need a little time. try to work on yourself one thing at a time, find the things that are dragging you down the most, and begin by attacking them directly. right now, you're in a vulnerable position. you're feeling useless and down. try to understand that, most of all, you are not useless, you are not a waste of space. you're important and valuable, and all you're going through right now is completely normal. sometimes we feel like we haven't accomplished enough, like we should be further away in life. however, most of the time, we're looking at it with the wrong perspective. i'm pretty sure you've made your own valuable accomplishments by now, even if you don't see them as such. work on yourself, step by step, and things will eventually get better. until then, i hope you stay alright!