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social media & socializing struggles as a neurodivergent person (text-heavy)

posted by Anonymous on 16 December, 2020

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hi there, i hope today's kind to you ! ♡ & basically, this is about social media/socialization struggles...! as a neurodivergent person, i have difficulties communicating to others, and tend to have more ease using text-based applications, however, i've tried many, many different kinds, which is still an endeavor to make & keep friends, yet i feel discontent using different social media, as if none of them really make me happy, or i feel close to users, even my online best friend, or kind mutuals, or if i blacklist & block anyone who's unsafe & make it clear what i want...! i've tried more than i could word from a kid as a college student now & even lgbt+ & poc spaces & as an african-american member of the community myself...! ( if anyone is curious: amino apps, aspieology, black planet, blahtherapy, bumble, clubs at my college, chatous, discord & discord servers, facebook (messenger), friendr, furaffinity, furvilla, hello poetry, her, instagram, kik, lex, meetapotato, meetme, meetup, newgrounds, omegle, patook, peach, penpalworld, qq, quotev, reddit, skype, snapchat, spectrum singles, speedrun, starfox-online, steam, taimi, trevorspace, twitch, vent, vrchat, we3, whisper, zoe, 7cups & 8tracks & others i've probably forgotten..! ) i guess, what i'm trying to say is, how do you find & maintain a friendship or profile on a site & just feel comfortable & happy with it & or make good friends/a lasting connection whether online or in-person ? i seem to be lacking a connection & i'm unsure how to articulate this feeling, and i have been working on this for ages with my current therapist... though, thank you for your time, i appreciate it !!

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👍3 💡28 Gentle Polychromatic Bear ● 23 December, 2020 ⚓︎

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hello anon, i hope you've been doing well. i think i kinda understand what youve been feeling. this is what i felt before... feeling alone like a lonely dot on a paper. and feeling the guilt of feeling alone despite having family and friends who mean well. its not that i wasnt reaching out. it was more like how i couldnt explicitly ask what i need or what would help me because i , myself didnt know that either. they tried their best to what they know and ive had the fortune of meeting and being friends with lovely people. but i felt that void. that need of emptiness and the desparation to fill it with something that fits. thats an exhaustive list of sites and that seems to show how desparate you wanna reach that place where you dont feel like it anymore (im sorry if i misread that) i dunno how much of a help can my words be here and i might go off on a tangent. ^^' imma try articulate them for you. what worked for me was to stop for a second and look at how my energy was ramified out over few groups. i wondered what was i searching for and how would i know when i did it. even after meeting few good friends, why was my mind racing at the fact that id join one more group. i felt they'd match with my thoughts/ideas or itd be a good place to know myself and how far i can go? after some thinking (took me a few days) i realised that there's never gonna be an end of meeting and finding awesome groups... and i gotta slow down and dont let my energy get dissipated among them. not just that, but taking time off kinda helped me realise how i am with myself when there's no outlet. then i learned to manage how i spend my time and energy, on my self,immediate circle and the social circle. ofc, things have changed a bit in view of the current pandemic but all it gives us is another opportunity to learn and discover what we need and are looking for. also, this might be slightly triggering or people might find it an odd way of thinking.. but i learned to reason myself this way. if you were to not talk to the person/friend you now, till forever.. what would you do? youd cherish each thing and would be more "in the moment" , right? thats how i did it/doing it. i might go on and on on this topic and im sorry for such a long wall of text! haha.. hope you find that feeling of being content soon, friend. take care! and have a slice of cake on my behalf!