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my mom isnt going to let me deny confirmation

posted by 👍3 💡19 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey on 07 September, 2019

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i told my mom i'm an athiest (have been for 2 years by now, just havent told them until like 2 or 3 days ago) because i didnt want to have confirmation (for non-christians, it's basically adding a saint's name to your name (as a middle name)) and now she's saying that "i can't deny confirmation without asking her first" which means "hey yeah ask me, your very christian mother, if you can deny confirmation, which i'm sure to n o t let you deny, before you actually go through with it!" and now my parents are trying to prove that god is real every fucking time i talk to them its getting so hard to not cry whenever it happens now because i dont wanna be forced to add a saint's name to my name because to my school it's something that like fully confirms my christianity. other students know im an athiest and they stopped caring by now, but like i'm scared that my mom (and maybe dad) are gonna force me to do confirmation




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💡2 Lively Scarlet Toucan ● 13 September, 2019 ⚓︎


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i’ve already had my confirmation and i always went along with every catholic ceremony because i went to catholic primary and secondary schools and tbh i didnt really know there was any other option until i was about 12/13 and when i fully grasped the concept of “god” i just completely decided i was atheist. ever since my parents haven’t said much but occasionally my dad will just have random outbursts of anger and say i’m stupid and that i’m close minded and basically try to manipulate me into the religion which is completely ludicrous. at the end of the day your parents can control almost every aspect of your life apart from your own private thoughts. to me, because i dont believe in god or religion i dont find it hard to go along with the ceremonial things because they don’t hold any value to my life but it makes my parents and grandparents happy so i do it for their benefit rather than mine. hope it helps a bit :)

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👍3 💡19 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey ● 13 September, 2019 ⚓︎


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thanks, i actually really like this reply and find it pretty helpful! (also happy birthday!!)

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💡62 💎2 Delightful Scarlet Jellyfish ● 20 September, 2019 ⚓︎


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i've never heard about confirmation until now. i didn't know this was something christian people "had" to go through. however, i believe that every person has the right to live religion the way they want to. this means that you shouldn't feel obligated to add a saint's name to your name, even if your parents wish you to do so. it's tricky to comment on a topic like this, because it may include some specific things about your culture and about the way you were educated as a child. it's also hard to change mentalities on a topic like this, so i doubt your parents will change their opinion. if you are forced into confirmation, don't let it stop you from keeping your beliefs. if you're an atheist, it's alright. you can be whatever you want to be, as long as it doesn't harm other people. keep in mind that it's not the simple act of adding a name that makes you change the way you think, which means that, in every way, you'll keep on being an atheist (until the day you decide you want to be something else, and if that day comes). your beliefs are your beliefs, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, because no one has the power to control your ideas

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👍3 💡19 Slightly Symmetrical Monkey ● 21 September, 2019 ⚓︎


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thank you for this!! this honestly makes me so happy. i've always just been sorta uneasy about confirmation since it changes like your legal name but i think i'm doing better about it now. thank you!! c:

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💡62 💎2 Delightful Scarlet Jellyfish ● 21 September, 2019 ⚓︎


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i'm happy to hear you're feeling better about all this! remember that changing your name does not change who you are. good luck!

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Anonymous ● 10 September, 2019 ⚓︎


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you're young. you don't understand their efforts. i'm a hippie. age, history and beliefs prove it. i did not force religion on my children. i said they would be able to choose for themselves but i trusted my children to use their god given intelligence to give it deep thought and consideration. nope. liberal child is "atheist" (a religion), son deceased but catholic for marriage and protestant daughter for marriage. my religion comes from heart and my sda upbringing did not help. anyhow, you're young and mom and dad will someday not be here. give them happiness now and you peace of heart later.