posted by 💡3 Neutral Olive Banana on 24 February, 2022
i was gettin kinda down and just tried to cheer myself by trying to look more masculine and took some pics and i showed them to 2 friends that made me feel better in way by saying i looked good as a guy .... they know im like this but also dont ? i felt happy for a moment but i cant avoid but feeling kinda confused whether im a trans guy in denial or non binary cuz well its not like i experience much dysphoria anyway.... for some years i started feeling like something's off bout my gender and held onto the label non binary but i never came out for real...idk what i should do ik i would like to look like a guy and perhaps pass as one but im afraid to come out about this to anyone ... which makes not want to be too close to people afraid they wont accept me for my messy me cuz yea guess im a confused,depressed mess .... and imma stop rambling here thanks for reading this anyway
trans, non-binary, or just a tomboy, younger people are increasingly feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. it's not just you, so many people now are under a lot of pressure to evaluate their identities. there's nothing wrong with dressing in a more masculine way, and if it makes you feel more comfortable, go for it. no need to make big decisions regarding your identification right away. if that feeling of being in the wrong body becomes too much to handle, then there are professional psychologists who are more than happy to help you figure that out. i think the biggest takeaway here is something you pointed out yourself: you're confused and depressed. i'd say investigate that, only good can come from becoming less of either of those things. thank you for sharing with us.
yeah you're right rushing things wouldnt do me any good right now i probably need more time to evaluate myself and well certainly a couple of therapy sessions. honestly went to a therapist a few days ago but left there even more anxious but guess i should try a gender therapist either ways thank you for your insight!
i'm glad you're talking to someone, that's very proactive! be careful not to discount your therapist too quickly because you might feel more anxious right off the bat. improvement through therapy is a long process and is often difficult at first because you're dealing with very sensitive topics. same way you wouldn't stop learning guitar because your fingers hurt at first. bring up that anxiety, if they're a good therapist i'm sure they'd want to hear about it. if you don't click with the therapist themself, that's another thing. the key for therapy is often the relationship you create. best of luck!
honestly i didnt feel that comfortable with that therapist when it came about talking bout my gender and other deep stuff but i only went once so i can't expect much right away... but yea guess i didnt click with them though they appeared nice at the beggining they later on rushed me out of the room when the time wasnt even up so yea it didnt seem like it was the best first experience with a therapist i suppose. anyways right now i'm dealing with other health stuff so guess my mental health gotta wait for a lil while longer. thank you once again tho! wish u the best
Anonymous ● 04 March, 2022 ⚓︎
hi, i want to tell you that you are not alone - i do struggle with gender identity a lot, especially if i’m gender fluid or a cis woman. when i was depressed, this confusion was driving me nuts, it made me feel even worse, like nothing was certain, even myself. for these reasons, i think that you should prioritize your mental health first because it seems there is something deeper that is bothering you - or maybe it’s just the gender thing, either way you should think about that. when we leave behind traumas and sadness, gender identity becomes something exciting to discover and it does not feel heavy anymore. maybe try using male pronouns and wearing masculine clothes and see how you feel. i recommend you some cool non-binary/trans/genderfluid people on youtube: noah finn, keara graves and miles. you will find your answer, i believe that.
heyy, thank you i do know im not the only one feeling like this but it feels less lonely having read that. it amazes me how you got me so well, i certainly have other underlying issues that go way deeper i do have a habit of repressing things since i was child and even though my life wasnt the most messy guess some situations in my life werent deal in the best way. i do regret not having tried to go to therapy as a child and wished my parents would have forced me to go as well as themselves tbh ....sorry here im rambling again. anyways i suppose thats right, it surely wouldnt feel this bad findind my gender if it werent for other things making it heavier to deal with. i do dress masculine already and i naturally have a masculine appearance which contributed to questioning my gender in the first place, i did tried goin with male pronouns it feels alright sometimes and others doesnt, same with female pronouns tbh until now the most comfortable have been neutral pronouns but in my native language those dont exist. oh and i appreciate the suggestions of trans youtubers i did know miles, heard before about keara too but didnt know she was genderfluid. once again thank you! i needed to hear that, i also believe you will find your answer.
Anonymous ● 07 April, 2022 ⚓︎
i’m not really qualified to answer this, but reading this just made me think of some things. first of all, you don’t need to have terrible dysphoria to be trans, or even any at all. second, i don’t know what you think about pronouns, but maybe try writing/saying sentences about yourself using he/him and they/them pronouns. maybe one will feel more right? also, some people use multiple pronouns (ex. he/him and they/them). some labels for that could be (but doesn’t have to be) demigender, genderfluid, bigender, etc. sorry, now i’m rambling. good luck :)