posted by 💡3 Neutral Olive Banana on 24 February, 2022
i was gettin kinda down and just tried to cheer myself by trying to look more masculine and took some pics and i showed them to 2 friends that made me feel better in way by saying i looked good as a guy .... they know im like this but also dont ? i felt happy for a moment but i cant avoid but feeling kinda confused whether im a trans guy in denial or non binary cuz well its not like i experience much dysphoria anyway.... for some years i started feeling like something's off bout my gender and held onto the label non binary but i never came out for real...idk what i should do ik i would like to look like a guy and perhaps pass as one but im afraid to come out about this to anyone ... which makes not want to be too close to people afraid they wont accept me for my messy me cuz yea guess im a confused,depressed mess .... and imma stop rambling here thanks for reading this anyway
heyy, thank you i do know im not the only one feeling like this but it feels less lonely having read that. it amazes me how you got me so well, i certainly have other underlying issues that go way deeper i do have a habit of repressing things since i was child and even though my life wasnt the most messy guess some situations in my life werent deal in the best way. i do regret not having tried to go to therapy as a child and wished my parents would have forced me to go as well as themselves tbh ....sorry here im rambling again. anyways i suppose thats right, it surely wouldnt feel this bad findind my gender if it werent for other things making it heavier to deal with. i do dress masculine already and i naturally have a masculine appearance which contributed to questioning my gender in the first place, i did tried goin with male pronouns it feels alright sometimes and others doesnt, same with female pronouns tbh until now the most comfortable have been neutral pronouns but in my native language those dont exist. oh and i appreciate the suggestions of trans youtubers i did know miles, heard before about keara too but didnt know she was genderfluid. once again thank you! i needed to hear that, i also believe you will find your answer.