posted by 💡3 Neutral Olive Banana on 24 February, 2022
i was gettin kinda down and just tried to cheer myself by trying to look more masculine and took some pics and i showed them to 2 friends that made me feel better in way by saying i looked good as a guy .... they know im like this but also dont ? i felt happy for a moment but i cant avoid but feeling kinda confused whether im a trans guy in denial or non binary cuz well its not like i experience much dysphoria anyway.... for some years i started feeling like something's off bout my gender and held onto the label non binary but i never came out for real...idk what i should do ik i would like to look like a guy and perhaps pass as one but im afraid to come out about this to anyone ... which makes not want to be too close to people afraid they wont accept me for my messy me cuz yea guess im a confused,depressed mess .... and imma stop rambling here thanks for reading this anyway
trans, non-binary, or just a tomboy, younger people are increasingly feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. it's not just you, so many people now are under a lot of pressure to evaluate their identities. there's nothing wrong with dressing in a more masculine way, and if it makes you feel more comfortable, go for it. no need to make big decisions regarding your identification right away. if that feeling of being in the wrong body becomes too much to handle, then there are professional psychologists who are more than happy to help you figure that out. i think the biggest takeaway here is something you pointed out yourself: you're confused and depressed. i'd say investigate that, only good can come from becoming less of either of those things. thank you for sharing with us.
yeah you're right rushing things wouldnt do me any good right now i probably need more time to evaluate myself and well certainly a couple of therapy sessions. honestly went to a therapist a few days ago but left there even more anxious but guess i should try a gender therapist either ways thank you for your insight!
i'm glad you're talking to someone, that's very proactive! be careful not to discount your therapist too quickly because you might feel more anxious right off the bat. improvement through therapy is a long process and is often difficult at first because you're dealing with very sensitive topics. same way you wouldn't stop learning guitar because your fingers hurt at first. bring up that anxiety, if they're a good therapist i'm sure they'd want to hear about it. if you don't click with the therapist themself, that's another thing. the key for therapy is often the relationship you create. best of luck!
honestly i didnt feel that comfortable with that therapist when it came about talking bout my gender and other deep stuff but i only went once so i can't expect much right away... but yea guess i didnt click with them though they appeared nice at the beggining they later on rushed me out of the room when the time wasnt even up so yea it didnt seem like it was the best first experience with a therapist i suppose. anyways right now i'm dealing with other health stuff so guess my mental health gotta wait for a lil while longer. thank you once again tho! wish u the best