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feeling lost...

posted by Anonymous on 06 October, 2019

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where do i even begin? i have so much thought and emotion inside me right now i feel like i’m going to explode. i have chronic pain and i’m in a fibromyalgia flare which is struggle enough but now the demons i have been battling for most of my life have decided to make a comeback. i’ve discovered after years of being friendless, people i thought were my friends don’t actually see our relationship in the same light. they don’t hate me - i’m just not part of the friend group. god i miss being included - not sure i even remember what it’s like anymore. i just don’t know what to do.... i’m resisting the urge to cut. i desperately don’t want to do that again, but i know i need some kind of release




posting anonymously

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💡62 💎2 Delightful Scarlet Jellyfish ● 06 October, 2019 ⚓︎


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posting anonymously

hello there! you say they don't see your relationship in the same light, but that doesn't mean they don't see you as their friend. people usually have different approaches when it comes to friendship, they value different things. however, it sucks when you feel you're giving much more than what you have in return. it sucks feeling like they don't appreciate you enough or like they don't care enough. what you're feeling is normal and it's okay to feel that. it's a natural human impulse to feel like you don't belong somewhere. perhaps try to remember all the times that a friend of yours surprised you in a positive way. all the times someone came to you and remembered you for something. all the times someone gave you an unexpected gift or remembered something you told them about yourself. you'll see that, at the end of the day, there are a lot of those moments. and what is life if not the sum of all those little moments? cutting may feel like an escape, but it'll just trap you even more with each time you get that blade closer to your skin. trust me, i've been there. there are a lot of alternatives, things you can do instead of cutting, that can help you ease that urge. draw on the place you use to cut with a washable marker and then go take a bath. watch your favorite movie. play with a pet (if you have one). hug a pillow. color with crayons. google yourself. sing. use your imagination, it's limitless. do something that you know can wash away some of the pain. and for the last one, you've already done it. talk to someone. you came in here and you talked to us. and, let me tell you, that was a very smart thing to do. you'll always have a safe place in here to vent, there's always someone around. i know this may sound corny, or even worn out, but everything will be okay. this, too, will pass. you won't feel this way forever, but you have to find a way to deal with your present feelings. maybe try to make an appointment with a therapist and tell him/her what you've been feeling lately. there's no shame in asking for help when you're needing it. if you don't feel ready just yet, we'll be here to walk you through it. please, take care of yourself! and remember we'll always be here for you

1 💡

Snowy Sturdy Berry ● 06 October, 2019 ⚓︎


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posting anonymously

i posted as anonymous but i’m registered now. even if they do like me, none of them ever invite me to join in on anything. i found one group of people i thought were my friends are regularly going out to the pub or out for dinner etc and have never told me or invited me. same kind of thing with another group that i thought were friends- doing things secretly without inviting me. this kind of thing just seems to keep happening with every group of new people i meet. i don’t have any friends that i can go out and do stuff with and i genuinely don’t remember the last time i had a friend do something nice for me. i’m gonna keep trying to think of that though. i have worked out an alternative to cutting. i have acrylic nails and digging them into my skin gives me the sensation without breaking the skin and leaving a mark. i know it’s probably not the healthiest alternative, but it really really made me feel better - like some of the negative evil energy left my body. im thinking of making a list of all of my positive attributes.... maybe it will help me see myself in a better light rather than the epic loser i feel i am at the moment

1 💡

💡62 💎2 Delightful Scarlet Jellyfish ● 07 October, 2019 ⚓︎


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posting anonymously

welcome to mellowtalk, buddy! if you see they're not inviting you, how about you being the one taking the first step? sometimes, people have this wrong idea. they think that, for them to invite you, you have to show them you're interested. maybe try to invite them all to dinner, or to the cinema. something y'all fancy. next time, they'll feel morally "obligated" to invite you. and you'll start a laudable cycle, in which you will have the opportunity to blend in exactly the way you want to. i have to admit, it seems you're still coping using pain. however, if that's the alternative you found, it'll have to do for now. just try to work on a better one for future situations, "explore" yourself, try to find what makes you feel better. make that list! that's a great way to celebrate your best qualities! include everything that crosses your mind! and, then, let me know how it made you feel