posted by 💡4 Constantly Orange Llama on 16 September, 2019
i lost everything in just a month. my stepmom was verbally abusing me worse than ever, i got kicked out of my dads house, found out my stepdad had multiple affairs, started attending my third high school (im a junior), lost contact with every single one of my friends (i broke my phone and cant afford a new one), was accepted onto a club soccer team but won't be able to do it because it is too expensive. and thats just half of it. ive struggled with suicide and self harm for years and havent done anything to hurt myself since february but its getting harder and harder to keep that streak. i had a soccer career ahead of me too. i was the starting varsity goalie my sophomore year of high school and had coaches lining up for me to play for them but all that got taken away from me when my dad forced to to move hours away to my moms house. im afraid that my mom and stepdad are going to get a divorce. i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. i went thru the worst breakup with someone i wasnt dating. i have an eating disorder and cant regulate what i eat. i wont eat for a week than ill eat everything in sight plus some. sometimes i cant sleep for shit and others i sleep way too much. i dont know how much longer i can be strong enough to keep going
right before things start to get better you will feel like your life is falling apart and you can't go on. you have to believe that god is putting you through all this for a reason. to make you stronger. because you need to feel pain to be grateful for your blessings. trust that everything happens for a reason and in due time god will bring you to the other side. stay strong.
Anonymous ● 16 September, 2019 ⚓︎
i know trying to stay strong sucks. i don’t think anything anyone can say can make things better. im so sorry you are feeling this way. i don’t know what i can say to help you but believe you me if i knew the magic words i’d say them to everyone. if i could i’d hold your hand or be your shoulder in a heart beat. we can cry together. i don’t know how to convey all the well wishes i hope for you. i just hope you find someone close to you that you can trust completely and confide in them to help you keep your streak going. if anything i’m here for you
from what i could understand, you are very talented. people may try to take everything away from you, but they will never be able to take that. things may seem tough right now, but try to hold on. while all that is happening, try to find another way to play soccer and try to focus on that. maybe something will show up and maybe life will give you a new opportunity to develop your career. if soccer is your dream, don't give it up. one day, you'll prove yourself and you'll understand every effort was worth it
Anonymous ● 19 September, 2019 ⚓︎
i'm sorry you are going through a really hard time, i understand you, i also feel like i can keep myself up very long, but, let yourself cry, scream and feel a little bit of the pain, you are human, but try going for walks, write, breathing excersices. i cant tell you to feel better because right now you are going trough hard time but i can assure you that eventually things will get better the hard thing is the patience we are here for you