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every aspect of my life is falling apart.

posted by 💡4 Constantly Orange Llama on 16 September, 2019

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i lost everything in just a month. my stepmom was verbally abusing me worse than ever, i got kicked out of my dads house, found out my stepdad had multiple affairs, started attending my third high school (im a junior), lost contact with every single one of my friends (i broke my phone and cant afford a new one), was accepted onto a club soccer team but won't be able to do it because it is too expensive. and thats just half of it. ive struggled with suicide and self harm for years and havent done anything to hurt myself since february but its getting harder and harder to keep that streak. i had a soccer career ahead of me too. i was the starting varsity goalie my sophomore year of high school and had coaches lining up for me to play for them but all that got taken away from me when my dad forced to to move hours away to my moms house. im afraid that my mom and stepdad are going to get a divorce. i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. i went thru the worst breakup with someone i wasnt dating. i have an eating disorder and cant regulate what i eat. i wont eat for a week than ill eat everything in sight plus some. sometimes i cant sleep for shit and others i sleep way too much. i dont know how much longer i can be strong enough to keep going

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💡3 Deep Glowing Bear ● 29 October, 2019 ⚓︎

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right before things start to get better you will feel like your life is falling apart and you can't go on. you have to believe that god is putting you through all this for a reason. to make you stronger. because you need to feel pain to be grateful for your blessings. trust that everything happens for a reason and in due time god will bring you to the other side. stay strong.