posted by Anonymous on 18 November, 2018
i used to do everything with my mother. it was always her and i, and sometimes my bipolar father would come and visit. last year my parents got a divorce, and now my mother has started to date. now that she started doing this, it makes me feel very depressed and alone. i've stopped enjoying hanging out with my friends ( it was right before my mom started going out ) i spend my weekends hidden away in my bedroom (along with my cat :o) i don't even leave my room a lot. i and my mother are very close and now i just feel distant from her. every weekend we go to stores and stuff like that and now she goes out and leaves me until 12:30 at night. now he starts coming to my house where i accidentally walk in on them. she said would only go out like once a week, but now its become often. my mom says she doesn't want to force him and i's relationship, but i feel like its being forced because shes bribing me to talk to him, shes gave me 200$ and is now starting to bribe me with something i've wanted for a long time, a bird. when ever i confront her about it, she guilts me saying "why don't you want me to be happy? don't i deserve to be happy?" which makes me feel very selfish she also says " your getting older and soon you'll want to go out with your friends" but i'm not even in highschool yet, and i struggle with social anxiety hence, i don't have many friends, which makes me feel unwanted and useless. another thing she says is that " he is very nice can be like a father to you" but i don't want him to be, i just want things to go back the way it was. she often compares me to my father, it just makes me feel so small and a horrible person. im just feeling so alone right now and just want someone just to tell me i'm going to be okay. i want to run away from all my problems, but i cant because of im only 13. i just really wanted to share this because i'm a dire need to talk to someone and i cant tell the few friends that i have because what if they judge me and i don't want to be my friend. last time, i told my friend i just wanted things to go back to the way it was and she shamed me for feeling this way and continued to talk about how happy she for my mom. i know its selfish, that i want it to go back to the way it was.