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feeling lost and alone

posted by 👍1 💡1 Superb Rainbow Eagle on 22 February, 2021

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i feel totally stuck. i'm in my mid twenties, work from home (even outside of the pandemic), live alone, and i'm single. after my boyfriend and i broke up in september, i felt amazing. so free, and life was so much better. and it still is better without him, believe me, but now the "boost" i got from life suddenly improving is gone, and everything feels "normal." i feel totally isolated and alone, as many of the friends i was seeing have moved recently, or are isolating pretty strictly due to covid. the friends i do talk to and the one i see regularly, i love, but somehow it just feels unfulfilling nowadays, like the friendships are lacking real substance and depth anymore. my motivation is draining so fast, and i'm increasingly just killing time watching youtube or sleeping. i have a history of depression, so i'm really trying not to let this become a full on depressive episode. my job is not in the career field i'm pursuing, and my progress toward my real career goals is stalling, partially due to to covid, and getting worse because of my lack of motivation. i know i could try doing more spontaneous things, making little changes, etc. but with the cloud of loneliness always over my head and it being so difficult to make new friends/partners during the pandemic, making these changes feels impossible. but i desperately want to feel like i'm really living again. any advice?

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