posted by Anonymous on 16 October, 2019
there are times when i talk to people, i tend to blabber nonsense or i’d stutter, like i got this idea in my head, but when im about to say it, its just gibberish. i can easily talk to my close friends, although there are times when it does happen, they would just give me a funny look.it mostly happens to other people ,especially when they suddenly converse with me.
hello there! blabbering and gibbering, gibbering and blabbering, then all the ideas you had about something just vanish and you're left with nothing but shame. there's no shame on being unable to talk to people. it's actually pretty common not knowing how to answer something when you're being asked a question or even how to clarify your thoughts. in the first case, you are simply absent, your mind is somewhere else, and it takes you a little while to adjust to reality. in the second case, words just don't come easy to you. and it's fine when that happens, because it happens to all of us. however, maybe it happens a little bit more to you and you feel like it's creating some issues in your social life. if you feel you're having problems to talk to people, you can use some of this advice: - begin the conversation by saying how you'll probably say something without any sense. the other person will take it as a peculiarity and will probably just laugh. understand that they're not laughing at you, they're just laughing because you made it easier to start the conversation. you'll feel both more comfortable that way. - try to make some small talk. yes, i know it can be hard, but try to practice it at home, so you'll feel more prepared. usually, in small talk, people tend to answer you nearly the same. those regularities will make you more at ease. - understand that a conversation is not only about talking, but also about listening. it's perfectly okay if, at the beginning, you start as an active listener. let other people do the talk for a while and join into the conversation when you feel like you're ready to do it. you can always participate with your body language (nod your head, make eye contact, etc.). - find some people who enjoy the same things you do. whether you have the same hobby, or you both love animals or reading to the same kind of books, it'll be a lot easier being in a conversation where you master the topic. words may fail you at first, but you'll always find your way through the obstacles. - try to ask questions instead of making statements. not only will you make a good impression (because it means you're paying attention to what they're saying), but it'll also take away some of the responsibility of maintaining the topic. - and, last but not least, if you don't feel comfortable at all starting a conversation, don't do it. i know that, sometimes, it's imperative. but, if you have a choice, and you feel like you can't do it at the moment, just postpone it. i'm not telling you to avoid conversation, obviously, but try to start with what makes you more comfortable. also, just a little tip. when people suddenly talk to you (and you're not prepared), just say "sorry, i wasn't paying attention, can you please repeat what you were saying?". this'll make people repeat (and sometimes rephrase) what they asked you, which'll give you more time to think about your answer.
Anonymous ● 17 October, 2019 ⚓︎
i have a similar issue. when i get 'stuck' i get too wordy and then i try to fix that by being more abstract in what i'm trying to say so sometimes i end up not making any sense at all. or at least that's how i feel. confidence helps a lot but having confidence in your speech is only half of the matter. having confidence in whoever you're talking to also plays a big role in how we talk. in my experience, i lack fluidity because i'm worried that whoever i'm talking to won't understand what i'm trying to convey. i try to practice speaking as if i don't have to worry about how other people perceive me. also, dwelling on past instances of poor speaking makes future speaking harder to deal with. it's easier to go into a conversation thinking you have a clean slate than remembering that you have a history with poor speech fluidity. as far as speaking tips go, try to keep words simple and thoughts direct. lol, that's the best tip i can give you. let us know if you learn other things that help you out :)
Anonymous ● 18 October, 2019 ⚓︎
i don’t really have that much confidence in myself,but i’ll try mg best :) thanks!