posted by Anonymous on 04 March, 2021
does anyone else just wonder what the bloody point of it all is? there are nearly 8 billion people on this earth. i’m in a medical profession helping people, but there’s thousands upon thousands (probably millions) of people world wide who do what i do, so do i really make any difference in the world? is there really any point in me being here? hardly anyone would even notice i was gone. and even if i stayed - it’s all just nothing. it’s all meaningless in the end. the roller coaster is the emotions you have to deal with along the way, but the events themselves that happen are essentially pointless. so i come here to share and vent because i have no-one in my life that i can actually talk like this to. it has to be all rainbows fluffy kittens. i feel so defeated. there really just doesn’t seem to be any point anymore - at least not for me.
the "rainbows and fluffy kittens" is some bullshit positive psychology that obliges people to distrust their own feelings and "put on a good face" even when they're feeling down; this makes them even more isolated because they make it impossible for anyone to truly connect them - so i wouldn't stress about that as to what the point is: it depends on the scale you're thinking; it's the same with anything that's alive; a tree in a forest is in a huge network of beings, and on a planetary scale can do very little on its own; but then to its immediate surroundings it makes a huge difference - throwing shade, providing space for moss to grow and birds to nest, etc. also, there's the butterfly effect - you might say something to someone, which will make them change their mind about some decision, and that might impact a further 10 people, etc.; this happens all the time; the system wants us thinking that our decisions don't matter, because that way we're easier to control; this is not true; everything you do matters; what you do matters to me as a fellow human cynicism is safer than idealism; to believe that what you do matters is risky, and is also what we all need; we all need you; there is some stuff that nobody can do but you; again, you matter; i'm sending you hugs
hey anon, i understand the frustration you're going through. im in medical field and the burnout is real, not to mention how some people still believe in redundant issues and completely ignore the important matters around them. i've felt the same some time ago. am i leaving any positive impact on the world? am i doing this right? there would always be someone else than can replace me.. stop , drop the pace for a few seconds and think, my friend. you have said that "im in a medical profession helping people" dont look at the quantity, notice the quality. you must've helped people as much as you could. i bet the people who received help from you dont think the same you're thinking rn. their desperation or discomfort was relieved by you. that matters. you mattered and always matter and will matter for them. that definitely made a change in their life. and so would have been in your case. tell me, you never felt the happiness and the satisfaction from your work? it doesnt need to be everyday..it should! but in case it didnt, im sure you must've had your own experiences that made you choose this. sorry if i over read into this aspect. im sorry that you dont have someone to share your thoughts with. i really hope you find a friend or a compatible companion soon. maybe try some decent site that cater to your interests/hobbies? also, i would definitely advise a chat with a therapist. they will definitely help you find your peace. sometimes the going gets tough, but we gotta stand our ground and push back. if you feel you cant, nothing wrong to get some help. dont let the world turn you bitter, friend. hope you find that drive and feel better soon. super golden potato made good points as well. i would remind you to take care of your health and be kind to yourself. like you would with your child-self. be as patient and encouraging. treat yourself with a cake on me, will ya? sending good vibes and bear hugs~
Anonymous ● 10 March, 2021 ⚓︎
im feeling the same , i cant believe i am a mental health nurse when im essentially alone and numb on my days off. social health is important for everyone . we all need a companion or close friends or family to feel healthy. thats something that the healthcare system cant provide like gentle polychromatic bear' well wishing , i hope we all find ourselves some close connections to help us feel alive and like we matter personally to someone
dear anon, thank you for your work and remember that you're only human. when you're in a career thats focusing on taking care of others, imagine like you're carrying other's weight along with yours. so you need some extra lovin and extra care! i really hope you find that and till then, sending bear hugs ^^