posted by Anonymous on 17 March, 2020
hello its been some time now that i have been struggling , dragging myself and failing in my studies. ive finished it now with a lot of help from my sister. i just feel like a very incapable person and not very well adjusted to life. i seem to have lost the will to care about myself my health . i cant see i bigger picture or have any enthusiasm for being healthy i literally dont care about myself anymore , i dont know why i dont feel confident or want to take any direction inlife . there is anxiety and avoidance holding me back too please , any suggestions on how i can find the will to move forward and start caring about things again? i just want to hide away in life, but i feel like it keeps me as a regressive person and soon it will become obvious to others that i am like that. i fear the shame that will come as i get even older and further regressed but at the same time i really dont want to move. i dont want to face life, yet being in a daze , foggy feels like it is unhealthy especially with the way that i am feeling uncaring
Anonymous ● 18 March, 2020 ⚓︎
hello again, the days post-degree i have fallen back into apathy and hiding away. i really need to get some self-awareness and start fighting off my tendency to do that because its builds a higher level of anxiety and maladjustment the longer i stay away from doing what a normal functioning person would. i have barely left the house for 4 months and being outside again, being seen , i am going to feel on edge. i do need to start building myself up to be healthy again and adjusted to begin a working life if i stay as i am, my self-esteem ( the apathy) will remain . sometimes - like the whole of today- i have just lay in bed listening to youtube for comfort and distraction to lull myself to sleep again, not leaving my room or doing anything , even small things are not tended to. i need to start going outside again and sorting my personal appearance out eventually meet people who i have avoided i literally have turned into a malajusted hermit again and its scary coming out of it and realising the mess ive turned into. maybe things arent as bad as they seem to me , though i think i am only feeling better now because it is the evening time . day time really makes me feel nervous and exposed thank you for your attention and reply to what i wrote
your self-awareness is, by far, admirable. you can perceive what's wrong and you can understand that something has to change. those are, in reality, the first steps to begin with. my advice to you is doing that one step at a time. right now, you feel trapped in that foggy situation, incapable of adjusting. however, you also manifest a strong desire to change (it doesn't matter if it's stronger at evening, it's still inside you). your desire to change is the fuel you need to take, without wearing it out on the first tries. start small, like going out for a walk for half an hour, and then start adding 15 more minutes each passing week. this is, of course, an example. you have to be the one to set your own boundaries, to make your own arrangements. i'm not gonna lie, you'll have some troubles with whatever you decide on doing and maybe you'll fail once or twice. but it doesn't matter, as long as you keep going. it's okay to fall back into a detrimental situation if, somehow, you manage to make it out of there even stronger. whenever you need it, i'm here to listen.