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i'm asexual... where do i go from here?

posted by Anonymous on 30 November, 2020

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hey guys! i've known it for some time, but it never bothered me that much. the thing is, it feels really lonely. sex is such an important part of our society, it makes me feel like an outsider. i really don't have much to ask, i have pretty much figured it out by now, but i'd like to know if someone has some insight about this or maybe something they wanna share. hope y'all are doing great, btw!




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Anonymous ● 02 December, 2020 ⚓︎


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the realization for me just helped me understand myself a bit better. i didn't come out to anyone and probably won't. i can just roll my eyes at people who say there's something wrong with a person who doesn't want a partner rather than wondering if they're right. i'm in a job that's pretty hard on marriages/relationships and don't have to worry about any of those issues. i guess for me it's kind of like knowing anatomy. it doesn't really affect how i interact with people but it gives me a name for a part of who i am.

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👍3 💡46 Gentle Polychromatic Bear ● 14 December, 2020 ⚓︎


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such great responses and they all ring true. anon, i can understand how being out of the norm makes you feel like an outsider. but in my personal opinion, what you feel like doing with your body, or with your significant other is a complete personal choice. society could be saying anything, but what you do in your bedroom is your own thing. not even your parents can decide it. its you, living your life. like the others said, its liberating and soothing to know that part of you to yourself. letting someone else know about it, is your choice and for the comfort you're anticipating from them. but never forget that you're always there for yourself :) in case you needed some support, im sure there are many healthy communities which would support you and make you feel at home. you might find someone who's similar to you in tastes. im sure you'd find your home! much love and warm hugs, friend!

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Anonymous ● 02 December, 2020 ⚓︎


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for me, i'm not really experienced sexually, but i know that even though i have spikes, most of the time i'm not interested in sex. what helps is finding someone with a lower, or non existant sex drive. also, don't underestimate the power of intimacy. feeling loved can make up for a lack of sex in a lot of relationships. it really depends on what you're both trying to get out of a relationship.

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Anonymous ● 02 December, 2020 ⚓︎


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i realized i was asexual at 38. i did come out to a few people, which has helped with people constantly asking me stupid questions like when i am going to get a boyfriend. the main difference it has made for me is that i am more comfortable with myself. i am not trying to force myself into things or figure out why it isn't working for me. i am free of all that now. my life has gotten a lot better in seemingly unrelated ways. i have lost a lot of weight, gotten more active, etc.

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Anonymous ● 02 December, 2020 ⚓︎


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you accept it as normal and continue on with your life. from what you wrote, it seems that this doesn’t actually change anything, it’s more informative for yourself.