👍2 💡43 Big Boy Ben

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🎂 08 June, 2017

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posts by Big Boy Ben

chat times have been removed
16 September, 2018
1 insight

insights from Big Boy Ben

continue to dwell or learn from it
22 May, 2019
⚓︎ you've asked this question three times. the fact that you continue to ruminate over the test suggests there is a separate underlying emotional issue at play. the cheating is not a big deal, but how you're handling it is. if you find yourself falling back on past issues often to the point that it bothers you in everyday life, i would seek some professional consultation for this issue, if just to rule out some other reason for this anxiety.

happy vent! :0
08 May, 2019
⚓︎ well i made the site so that i have an easy, safe place where i can talk to people who need it. it makes me so happy that other people have been coming on and talking too. i'm always happy to help!

happy vent! :0
07 May, 2019
⚓︎ congratulations and thank you for the kind words :) good luck with your treatment. we'll always be around if you need support.

should or shouldn’t dwell for cheating on dmv drivers ed quiz
27 April, 2019
⚓︎ you've already asked this question and gotten some good responses: https://mellowtalk.com/insights/171337534427 no point in dwelling on it.

i have a voice but i can't talk. i don't know why
21 April, 2019
⚓︎ no contact info please.

psychopathic thoughts of violence
18 April, 2019
⚓︎ everyone has intrusive thoughts from time to time. some can be quite violent and still be in the range of normal. however, if these thoughts either begin to affect your quality of life or you ever consider acting on them for real, it is time to seek help. it sounds like it might be the former more than the latter in your case. a lot of times these things can manifest as the result of other pre existing disorders, for example extreme emotionality (like intrusive violent thoughts) to counter flat depressive thoughts or feelings of helplessness. another reason could be because you feel insecure or disenfranchised and this is a way to feel more empowered in your own life. either way, it is good to recognize and talk about these things. i would recommend talking to a professional even just once to gauge if this is truly a symptom of something else of if it is actually within the realm of normality.

regular visitor
14 March, 2019
⚓︎ sometimes i'll drop in

i love cutting, and i'm getting better
02 March, 2019
⚓︎ it sounds like you keep coming back here for sympathy and that's okay, we can supply it, but you can't really pretend like it's a good thing to do this to yourself. you know deep down it is very dangerous and extremely detrimental to your health to disfigure yourself like this and to say otherwise is an incredible delusion. rather than suggest you stop cutting altogether this time, i suggest you ask yourself why you make these posts. you know people will tell you to stop and reach out because of the risk involved, so why do you crave that so much? everyone needs validation sure, but most people aren't willing to vent about cutting themselves in order to get it. is it because you don't have that validation in everyday life? do you feel like you're lacking people that care and reach out and love you? i promise if you look hard enough you will find them. there are wonderful methods of support available if you'd like to seek them out. check out mellowtalk.com/resources for some examples. everyone has issues in life. different people struggle with some issues more than others and that's fine. but this is a bad way to deal with yours. on mellowtalk we care about you. i know i do. so please don't make us feel sad because a member of our community is making deeper cuts and pretending like things are getting better. take care.

i think i look up to cutting
24 December, 2018
⚓︎ hello, there. thanks for seeking help. you already know cutting is not okay, that's why you're here. even though i know it makes you good for a number of reasons, you really have to try for your own health and safety. in the immediate future, try snapping a rubber band on the wrist to get that instant shock in a less long-term way. that said, even if you stop cutting you can't just dismiss the issue. you should really start looking into to the cause of the self-harm, as it is likely a symptom of a more dangerous mental health problem. you aren't broken and you can certainly recover, but healthier coping mechanisms than pain have to be found for your own wellbeing. please seek professional help if you can and if you ever need an additional place to vent, you will always find friends here. i wish you the best of luck. take care.

28 October, 2018
⚓︎ in addition feel free to come back here anytime, we are always ready to talk. it can always get better.

28 October, 2018
⚓︎ hey no matter what you may think this is not normal and you need to seek immediate help for this issue. please check out the support page for resources: mellowtalk.com/resources

i'm new here
16 September, 2018
⚓︎ hello! all you have to do is visit the front page and select "listener" or "talker" depending on your needs. then, if all goes according to plan, someone will join with the opposite role and you can chat.

i wish this forum was more active
18 August, 2018
⚓︎ the idea behind restricting chat was to insure people were on at the same time because we don't have enough people on yet to create a conversation every hour of every day. i thought by having chat hours, people would come on at certain times and to a degree it has been successful. that said it is still not creating as many chats as i would want. do people think chat limitations should be removed?

i wish this forum was more active
18 August, 2018
⚓︎ i'm so happy people are enjoying the site! the community here is awesome and i do my best every day to expand it. it's slow going, but i see more and more people on mellowtalk every day!

does anyone here lose sleep over their anxiety?
03 August, 2018
⚓︎ i used to have real issues with anxiety induced insomnia. what ended up helping me was actually what helped me cope in the first place: developing meaningful, healthy habits. what worked more than anything was working out every day. but really how it started was stretching every morning and every night. that way, no matter what, i would have something to do even for a few minutes a day that i knew would impact me positively. i began meditating 10 minutes before bed as well and that would really do wonders for me as, although you aren't supposed to drift off while meditating, the same techniques used to meditate could be employed while laying in bed for maximum relaxation. once i developed the willpower to keep up these smaller habits, i started a consistent workout routine and that more than anything has kept me going through bouts of depression and flares of anxiety. i don't know what will work for you, but i can guarantee that creating these daily traditions is really beneficial in the long run. i personally use the "habits" app for android, but any streak tracking app could assist you in committing. good luck with the issue, it certainly can't last forever if you put your mind to solving it.

it feels good to be depressed
30 July, 2018
⚓︎ first and foremost i want to say it's great you're talking about this. sometimes just getting it off your chest is better than nothing at all. what i'm hearing is that you are insecure about how valid your emotions are. you look at people and you see them acting depressed and when you reflect upon yourself you develop a feeling of being an "imposter" with this illness. coupled with the fact that you are lacking emotional closeness from other people which is why you're craving attention and being unfamiliar with recovering, its really a tough mental space you are in right now. i'd like to reassure you that what you are experiencing is okay and normal and that having any emotion is perfectly fine. there is never a need to repress emotion and doing so will only cause anxiety like you are experiencing now. recovering fully will probably be a long hard road and you may find yourself sliding back sometimes, but it is always a good thing to feel better. try and find some people to talk to, it could make a world of difference.

i'm confused
11 July, 2018
⚓︎ your emotions are real and totally valid. the fact that you're here talking about these things is already a step in the right direction and you're such a good communicator too! i think part of the issue is how you frame the problem: you have these thoughts that you don't enjoy, you let them go, and then you're upset that you no longer have negative thinking that causes you trouble. if you haven't guessed, it sounds like you may have some emotional problems that need to be sorted out. a big part of depression and anxiety especially are these spinning thoughts that just go round and round without logical basis. if anything, i personally would feel happier that you are able to be rid of the negative thinking rather than being stuck with it. the fact that you are able to consider your thoughts and let them go is healthy and in no way diminishes the validity of the thoughts themselves. you don't have to be fixated on things and keep them close to you in order to live your life. try and find some people to talk to about some of your thinking. it doesn't have to be major stuff, but it is really amazing how much better you feel when you can get things off your chest.

the mandatory lowercase letters is a nice change of pace
28 June, 2018
⚓︎ you're welcome, happy you like it!