⚓︎your emotions are real and totally valid. the fact that you're here talking about these things is already a step in the right direction and you're such a good communicator too! i think part of the issue is how you frame the problem: you have these thoughts that you don't enjoy, you let them go, and then you're upset that you no longer have negative thinking that causes you trouble. if you haven't guessed, it sounds like you may have some emotional problems that need to be sorted out. a big part of depression and anxiety especially are these spinning thoughts that just go round and round without logical basis. if anything, i personally would feel happier that you are able to be rid of the negative thinking rather than being stuck with it. the fact that you are able to consider your thoughts and let them go is healthy and in no way diminishes the validity of the thoughts themselves. you don't have to be fixated on things and keep them close to you in order to live your life. try and find some people to talk to about some of your thinking. it doesn't have to be major stuff, but it is really amazing how much better you feel when you can get things off your chest.