⚓︎tbh you should not have cheated but maybe learn the things because when your driving your holding peoples lives in your hands and you need to make sure you can drive well and know the rules so no one gets hurt. it is fine but just remember cheating life you are cheating yourself the most because you could get into an accident and get hurt.
⚓︎both are bad. you do not need these substances to feel or to be healed. you need to find your calling or someone that will help you who is truely good. there are good people out there. you need to get help. anytime someone says that to me i say i do not need help. i can stop on my own. you cannot. its better with people.
⚓︎cutting is an addiction and it is hard to stop even if you do not feel like doing it. i hope you continue on your therapy and you should tell your therapist about this because no one does something like this for attention and even if they do they deserve help just as much because it means there is something that is not okay.
⚓︎i just wanted to say that it is not your fault. you need to rember him in your mind and appreciate his memories and the time he had. you will find people in this world that are truely good people and want to give you everything but you have to give everything back. i hope that you feel better. the best thing in life is to help people and teach them even if they do not think they need it.